Im so sick of ED

Living with an eating disorder is harder than a lot of people know. It takes over your life. It will slowly start by pulling you in and once it has ahold of you it will do anything in it's power to destroy you. I have been living with compulsive overeating disorder for 6 years. I started in 6th grade when my brother who was in 8th grade became a real heroin/coccaine addict and an alcoholic. both of my parents have been alcoholics ever since i can remember and at the tiime i didn't know what i was getting myself into. I never went out or would have people over because my home life was embarassing. So everyday i would come home and lock myself in my room and eat massive amounts of food just to keep my mind off of the distractions going on at home. People were always yelling and so much commotion was always going on but i didn't know what to do because i was young. I was a dancer and i started that when i was three years old. I have always been thin and that kept me in shape. For years this went on until freshman year in high school i realized that i started accessively lying about everything that had to do with food. I would lie to friends so i could lock myself in my room and eat non-stop. I would hide food and lie about what i ate. I noticed how whenever i ate with people i would stop when they did and make an excuse to leave so i could go eat more. Once i started there was nothing stopping me. and everyday the problem got worse and worse. i tried to cope with it by drinking or using drugs and i became quickly addicted to pain killers and coccaine and i had to get out of that. So i went to a therapist and my friends helped me. Then i started cutting and became very suicidal because nothing felt worthful anymore. It was me living with my eating disorder that caused my other problems and hiding from the world. so finally i told my parents that i needed help more than ever so i went to a place called Timberline Knolls. That made my eating disorder worse. It was a living hell and i thought it'd help for all my problems but no-none of it worked. they tried to treat me with anorexia because im not obese but i have never restricted and i've never purged on purpose unless it was me eating so much to the point my body couldn't handle it anymore and was physically throwing it up. that pissed me off more than anything and they didn't even know how to handle a binge eating disorder. it was horrifying. so now i am at home with all my problems worse than ever and my eating disorder out of control. i dont know what im trying to get out of this post but yeah that is a summary of my life.

((((((edgoaway)))))) Did you try to tell a doctor about how that place didn't help you? Seeing someone that you can talk to from time to time would be good too, like a therapist or school counsellor. I know you must have heard all this before, but you have to hold on with everything you've got. You can't let the illness or despair win. Do your family understand that they should be more supportive?