by Princess of China » Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:05 pm
I am not sure what is the direction I want things to go on, but I stopped analyzing it to death. It is clear to me now that I am into this lifestyle, that I like it and it gives me something that is important to me, that balances out other areas of my life. I was so burdened by having to process the abuse that I never truly enjoyed it. I was afraid to, I felt it would turn me into my abuser. I felt uneasy about playing with other people, I was worried about their safety and my own reasons for being there. Now that I tackled the abuse issue, a weight has been lifted from me and I feel I can enjoy it for what it is, for all the right reasons.