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RBDSM "The latest Taboo?"

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RBDSM "The latest Taboo?"

Postby seabreeze310 » Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:12 pm

Hello,

I am a 27 year old female and a survivor of child abuse. I have been in a 2 year relationship that definitely has it's challenges due to the underlying issues of my abuse. Two things I do know about my self is that I hate being controlled or over powered in bed. I have recently been introduced to RBDSM (Reenactment Bondage Dominance Submissive Machoism) and I must say it is the most incredible, exhilarating, fulfilling experience I have ever felt sexually, spiritually and internally. For the ones that don't know what it is, it is basically reenacting the abuse that you remember as a child with your willing and able partner. (To a degree. At first it will be uncomfortable but I can assure you once you break through the barrier, you will love it!) Except the difference is, I am the one in power and control over a submissive and I call the shots. He does what I want him to do, he doesn't do what I want him to do, whatever i wish for her goes with. And the best part is, is seeing how far I can take it with him. Slowly raising the amount of physical, emotional, sexual pain...testing his willpower and tolerance to my needs. It is a lot more extensive that I am probably portraying it. It has helped me from a therapeutic standpoint as well.
I guess my questions is...
Is this normal for me to like this so much?
Is it a healthy way for me to fulfill my power and control needs in a environment like this?
Anyone else partake in this area?
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Re: RBDSM "The latest Taboo?"

Postby Jim in Texas » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:52 pm

Don't worry about what is or isn't "normal" because you're a unique individual whose needs may not be the same as everyone else. If you're a diabetic you need to inject yourself with insulin which isn't what most people normally do because most people don't have diabetes. Normal people are not going to die from a bee sting but some people get allergic reactions to them. There is a lot of BDSM activity that actually is SAFER than engaging in normal sex given our global AIDS epidemic that's killed over 25 million people since the 1970's. You need to do risk management planning for any activity where you know of a potential health risk. In the Army we used to drink lots of water whenever we were in out in the desert doing physically demanding tasks for example. Pain is a fact of life nobody can avoid so it's necessary to accept that if you want to be a mature rational adult instead of going into crybaby hysteria whenever you need to get a blood test at the doctor's office. Pain is not going to kill you. Pain is just an early warning our nervous system sends to our brains when we stub our toe so we don't go kicking the same rock until we get a broken toe. When you are in control of the source of the pain it's like doing a fire drill where you go through the motions of reacting to a fire. but intellectually know you aren't in any real danger. Our bodies and brains can develop natural defense mechanisms to pain like releasing brain enzymes causing euphoria to help us endure painful traumatic experiences, so by repeating that same experience in a safer more controlled situation those brain enzymes are triggered giving us the euphoria even though we know it's essentially play acting without real danger.
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