brainslug wrote:I have never had a breakdown persay, but I have had major mental states, and I think that they have all significantly changed my perspective, so I would imagine that a breakdown would as well (and probably to a greater degree).
Keep in mind that all major experiences change us drastically. People who take psychedellics often have a lasting personality change for better or worse.
Remember that this is not some sort of permanent change. It may not go away on its own, but your personality is always fluid. With some work, medicine, a help of a professional, or whatever combinaiton works for you, you can reclaim your personality to what you want it to me. It just will take some work, and time.
Don't be afraid. Just move forward. Don't be afraid to seek help, and seek as much as you see fit.
You will be able to reclaim your passions and emotions, you just have to find out how.
I decided I wanted to become skinny and starved myself(went from 240-135 between April-December 08).
blameitonbadluck wrote:So I'm having some trouble and would really like to get some feed back. I've experienced a drastic change in my personality ever since I had my mental breakdown. I'm a 19 year old guy and have been having this problem for the past couple of years now. Basically growing up was pretty hard on me.
I grew up in an unstable household (still am) where my parents always fought, my father was physically and mentally abusive to my mother and I but not my sisters for some reason(thankfully for them) I always though it was because my parents had me at such a young age (mom: 18. dad: 20) that maybe he had resentment towards me because I could never understand why I was always targerted when in reality I was not a bad kid what so ever. Was teased a lot in school but I was alwas able to hold
my head up high, I always had friends though so that was never an issue. I've struggled a lot with my weigh. Was always a chubby kid but never cared until high school when I used to get referred to as the "fat #######1" lol whatever. Anyway, I was always the center of attention. I was fun, enthusiastic, ambitious, outrageous and just knew how to have fun. I never ever cared what people though I always expressed myself no matter what. Finally my parents divorced and that made
me pretty happy. Then comes 10th grade, I started getting randomly depressed and anxious. I decided I wanted to become skinny and starved myself(went from 240-135 between April-December 08). My moods started to become violent and I began to have this rebellious attitude. After my parents divorced I started really taking advatage to my new found freedom by coming and going as I pleased(even though I was 15) but still had an awesome personality behind that all. Though I've been hospitalized once for a few days for suicide watch, I was medicated and saw a few therapists...was always crying when I was alone for no reason, I would seek attention on the most ridiculous ways because I felt alone and unwanted and my therapists have said I experienced a mental breakdown. I was used by people, lied to. My trust has really been battered. My family constantely try to comtrol every aspect of my life. They alway somehow know what I am doing. They try to tell me what to do when it comes to what I'm going for in school and my father refuses
to pay for it unless it's acceptable by him. I'm expected to live up to everybody elses starndards or I'm a trainwreck to them. Anyway that lasted through about the end of 11th grade when I finally began to anylize my situation and go "what the hell was I thinking?" However, I have noticed I have never been the same after all that. I feel like I can't love anymore. My personality is gone, there no spark anymore. I go through life day by day and thats it or thats how I feel. I developed social anxiety which I have never had. I get all nervous and self concious around people now and can't stand to be around groups of people anymore.
I even lost my passion for performing which is what I loved most, you won't catch me on stage anytime soon. I just would like to know what some of you think. It's sad I realize these things but can't seem to fix them.