Hello, 26 male lurker from Finland here. I've been having issues with my self esteem most of my life and have been treated for depression/adhd 6 years unsuccessfully. Most of my problems come mainly from fear of people and the criticism i try to avoid. I tend to put on this facade like mask that hides my "true self" if you get what i'm feeling? I'm not as shy anymore per say but i can fake it like i used to as a kid in school. Mostly i tend to avoid the people who are too close. Family i contact maybe 4-8 times a year (because they call) and i have only one "friend".
Now here comes the scary part. I know u shouldn't self diagnose, but i've been reading about psychology ever since i moved on my own at 18. I mainly get disability benefits and 99% of my free time is spent on the computer and i like to research all kind of things when i get in the right mood.
Few days ago i started reading about this book they use to diagnose personality disorders and it was way more in depth than anything i've ever read and the Avoidant Personality Disorder described me to a t. Most other articles i read just skimped the surface but this even described the similar childhood personality i had to what type of parents are associated with it and other jargon.
I got a doctors appointment at 13.8 so i wan't to know should i even tell about my suspicions without getting ignored or so that she doesn't feel i attack her profession? Feel like an jackass for spending all this time on #######4 pills and stuff that always made me just want to quit the whole treatment.
EDIT: Hope this doesn't seem like i'm not too serious because i bet many "self diagnose" so easily. I can pull out some more details but i hate writing walls of texts so ask me