One of my most hated days of the year

Above all else, there is one day where I go above and beyond to avoid contact from anyone.

That day is my birthday.

Today is that day.

In the past 25 years, I have told a single person my birthday. My non-celebration of my birthday, deliberately keeping this bit of information from everybody except for one person that knows I can't stand being reminded of it, is itself old enough to drink.

I've been berated on more than one occasion because I refused to say when my birthday was at work. On one occasion, someone with access to my personnel file said they could just look it up and tell everyone. I responded by threatening a HIPAA lawsuit if they did. That is how far I will go to keep people from knowing, acknowledging that day. I can't stand surprise parties, cakes, presents, people giving me the attention that comes with it, and ESPECIALLY being anything remotely in the vicinity of the center of attention.

One may ask, if this is such a big deal, why I said what it is here... It doesn't matter here. I have no connection to anyone. Anyone that, knowing how I feel, does what I despise, I can just ignore or block them. The only reason anyone would do it, knowing how I feel, would be to provoke me regardless.

I've never seen the significance of a birthdate, anyways... What does it matter whether I was born on this day years ago, or the day before, or the day after.. It is nothing but an artificial construct that I want nothing to do with.

That's all. I just had to vent.

Birthdays would be my second most hated day of the year. It's only for the reason is that I can avoid it or just ignore the question all together. Thanksgiving is the worst part of the year for me. Everyone knows when it'll happen, and where to go. Family all across the country come to gathering so that we can all talk and mingle.Man I would just wish to sit it all out, but no I have to take care of the kids. So boring and stressful days of my life are on these days.

I hate my birthday as well. The celebration makes no sense to me. It's a stupid tradition. I hate Easter the most though, probably. My mom always forces me to go to church and it's super long and I have to get dressed up and my whole extended family shows up and tells me how pretty I look. So annoying.

I admit I have mixed feelings about my birthday. I definitely don't like being the center of attention and having the big party with all my family there and cake and gifts and all that crap. However, I do like when the people I really care about acknowledge it with saying happy birthday or just a card. It makes me feel better to know that someone actually cares about me. It depends on the person though - some people make me feel better and some don't. Its ok if my parents say something or take me to dinner because they are my closest friends. But I'd rather not hear from my siblings at all - they don't give a rats patootie about me the rest of the year why should my birthday be any different??? And of course I don't really have any friends (still working on that) - just acquaintances and their acknowledgement of my birthday is meaningless.

What would be great is if those people who profess to actually care about me (i.e. my siblings) would actually acknowledge my existence by taking me to dinner or calling me or sending me a card just out of the blue and for no apparent reason! Wouldn't that be great!? Ha - like that will ever happen!

Especially hated my birthday as a kid, was a nightmare for me. I hate any holiday. Only reason i do my wifes birthday and or anniversary is because she will never shut up about it if i dont do somethig about it. Holidays and picture taking is on my do not do list. Unless there is a good reason for it.

Me too, hate birthdays. Probably because I look 5-10 years older than I actually am. Makes for some awkward exchanges. In recent years I've been able to take a vacation during that time, so avoid that situation at work.

And other holidays, "what are you doing for Christmas?" I have no family to speak of and no close friends. So I usually work. It bugs me to get the pity invitations from people that won't usually give me the time of day. If I accepted they would be shocked. I used to get really sad during the holidays, but am over that finally, just another day for me, except I treat myself to a nicer than usual meal if I happen to be off work.

Hepzibah Pynchon wrote:Me too, hate birthdays. Probably because I look 5-10 years older than I actually am. Makes for some awkward exchanges. In recent years I've been able to take a vacation during that time, so avoid that situation at work.

I really like the idea of taking a vacation over your birthday and not having to go through it at work. With my luck though, my boss would just wait until I returned from vacation to celebrate my birthday.

I hate birthdays also, it's completely pointless. It's probably my least favorite day of the year because it always leads to an onslaught of questions and chat which I don't want to engage in.

I think facebook adds a whole new horrible dimension to the birthday thing. I deleted my facebook just before my birthday. I didn't want everyone to be reminded that I existed at that dark time. It's reassuring to hear that others feel the same way.

A friend of mine who I also think is avoidant had a surprise party thrown for him by his mother a few years ago and was furious and miserable, he wanted to spend his birthday on his own playing games and he obviously didn't like surprises. The sad thing is many of his friends that turned up gave up on him after that episode thinking that he was mean spirited and ungrateful, perhaps just weird.

I think I'm going to make an effort to do something each birthday from now on though. Avoiding it is more hassle than its worth for me, it just highlights my abnormality.

CrystalShips wrote:A friend of mine who I also think is avoidant had a surprise party thrown for him by his mother a few years ago and was furious and miserable

Its amazing how clueless parents can be. Of all the people in the world you would think that they would know their children the best!