Therapy

I have always been introverted and shy, and felt uneasy in social situations. I thought that was just the way I am and it wasn't a problem. But it has become a problem, adversely affecting school and work. So I decided to set up an appointment with a therapist and around the same time I read about AvPD and felt pretty certain that I have it. I went to my appointment with the intention of telling them that I think I have AvPD, but when I got there I didn't, and instead I just sat there and listened and gave brief, mostly yes or no, answers. At the end of the session, she diagnosed me with depression, which I do have, but is not why I went. I have been to two sessions since, both times having the same intention of telling her I think I have AvPD, and both times failing to do so. And like the first session, I sit there and listen and answer, as she treats my depression, which is something I can manage on my own via self-help books at a miniscule fraction of the cost of therapy. At the beginning and end of each session she asks me if I have any questions or thoughts that I'd like to ask her, and I say no while thinking yes. My next appointment is in two weeks, and I'm afraid I'll just do the same thing. Has anyone had this same problem?

Writing down thoughts and feelings and presenting this to your therapist at the start of a session gives the psych direction to focus their attention to find you.

Sitting and not dealing with what's on your mind doesn't get you anywhere... so start typing.

Welcome

I think writing down what you want to say is a good idea. You could give it to her to read, or you can use it help remind yourself of what you want to say and how to say it.

Also, I'd suggest bringing it up right at the beginning of the session. Many times I've went into my therapy, with the intention of talking about a certain subject, but if I don't bring it up right away, the session gets completely dominated by another topic, and there's no opening for me to bring up what I wanted to say. And before I know it he's saying times up.

- EGD.

It can take a little while for a therapist to be able to give you an appropriate diagnosis. I have had many diagnoses thrown at me after a single session in the past, but they have not necessarily been the right ones. The right ones have come about through spending time discussing my issues with the therapist, with the focus on the issues and how they affect me rather than just a label. The understanding of what labels do and don't apply to me has become more clear the further I've gotten into therapy. Though I know he did provide what he called a preliminary diagnosis after the first session, it was a little while before he said that I had AvPD. So yes, they may be calling it depression right now, but they may refine the diagnosis as time goes on and they get to know and understand you a bit better.

I'd also suggest writing things down. I often go in with a page of thoughts and feelings that I've managed to write out. I write things out in dot points and they're very all over the place, but it has been the easiest way for me to bring a lot of my issues up because I just find things too hard to talk about otherwise.

I have definitely had that problem, to the point where I stopped going to therapy because felt I wasn't benefiting since I was not able to talk about the real issues. Therapy should focus on what you want to work on and not a topic the therapist identifies (although their input may be valuable). Feeling uneasy in social situations can make it very difficult to bring up you're concerns about having AvPD with your counselor.

I agree with others that writing down what you want to say in advance can help you to get out what you want to say. You can hand it to the therapist for him/her to read, read from it out loud verbatim, or use it as a reminder of your talking points. You could also do something like leave a voicemail message for your therapist saying, "Next session I want to talk about AvPD, please bring it up during our session because I am having difficulty doing so."

I have been to see my therapist half a dozen times now, and I just told him that I believe I am AvPD, he acted like he has never heard of it before??

He thinks I am depressed and have social anxiety (both of which I have) but apart from that he thinks I am a type 4 on the enneagram scale. Interestingly the unhealthy levels on the scale of behaviour includes avoidant personality disorders so maybe he is just using different jargon to describe the same thing.

To answer your queries, yes I feel like I overlook feelings and issues I should raise with my therapist, so it is a good idea to write it down before you get there. Writing stuff down in between sessions will help get to the crux of the feelings that will help your therapist to make an accurate diagnosis..

-- Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:41 am --

eeyore1 wrote:I have been to see my therapist half a dozen times now, and I just told him that I believe I am AvPD, he acted like he has never heard of it before??

He thinks I am depressed and have social anxiety (both of which I have) but apart from that he thinks I am a type 4 on the enneagram scale. Interestingly the unhealthy levels on the scale of behaviour includes avoidant personality disorders so maybe he is just using different jargon to describe the same thing.

To answer your queries, yes I feel like I overlook feelings and issues I should raise with my therapist, so it is a good idea to write it down before you get there. I also feel like sometimes I tell my therapist what I think he wants to hear aswell which doesnt help anybody. Writing stuff down in between sessions will help get to the crux of the feelings that will help your therapist to make an accurate diagnosis..

Hello , I have question about CBT. Are same methods as for Social anxiety help for AvPD too? Or you need to do Schema therapy or something else for AvPD?
Sorry for poor English.