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Had it with my job

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Had it with my job

Postby Spikey » Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:11 pm

I went into my job feeling like I could just fit in being a quiet person and that would be OK. It seemed to work for a while, 6 months maybe then I found a few people in the office suddenly started quite rude remarks about/to me.

I have one person who seemed to be on a mission to be as obstructive, rude and difficult as he possible can be by refusing to cooperate with me in team work, even sabotaging my work, making unfounded comments about me to new starters. There's a few people in the office who picked anything about me they could and bullied me about it. I ignored it at first but it got to the point where it was making me physically ill so I thought I'd have a go at following the company policy on harassment before quitting my job which did make it go away.

I thought things would start being OK, that was over a year ago but it seems like it's slowly starting again. Even people who I thought I had a good working relationship with now seem to be either joining in on the fun (making the occasional joke about me), #######3 at or just plain avoiding me.

And now I feel so stressed by being around some people every day that have plain made my work life hell that I feel like I'm approaching a heart attack, I feel pains in my chest but only when I'm at work.

Oh well, just another day in the life of AvPD.
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Re: Had it with my job

Postby tlepS drawkcaB » Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:40 pm

Are you maybe misreading their jokes spikey?

If your feelings are correct though and you cant handle the place then it sounds like you need a new job.
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Re: Had it with my job

Postby twistermind » Thu Jan 26, 2012 6:56 pm

It's tought to have a psychopath like your first mentioned cooworker. It's pretty possible that (s)he discovered your weak point and decided to take avantage of it. Who knows perhaps (s)he thought you aré better than him.
That single fact could be the trigger for you to fell worse and worse and think that world was againts you. As I said before it's really tough. I can relate with you. Is there any possibility to change things.
I would look for a way out, another place to work or any other possibility and having it, I'd try to face to your current job to see what happens. Always, taking the second possibility in mind, just in case. I would try to ask myself whether my cooworkers aré really acting as jerks or it's that I'm twistering their acts. Give you a chance to improve in turbulent water.
Having avoidance made a gladiator of me.
" Controlling Avoidance comes with understanding Avoidance. Treat the avoidance as a separated identity; that is, avíes decissions and your decissions" (by Dwight)
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Re: Had it with my job

Postby shnbwmn » Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:23 pm

Most people like the one you mentioned who was "harassing" you, are usually just looking for some kind of excitement in their work, and "weaker" people such as yourself (weak as in shy and quiet) are a great target for their enjoyment. They're seeking attention, but don't have anything against you. Usually they'll get bored of it and move on to other things (or other people to pester).

Really hope your job experience improves :(
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
- Phillipians 4: 6-7
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Re: Had it with my job

Postby Spikey » Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:24 pm

tlepS drawkcaB wrote:Are you maybe misreading their jokes spikey?

twistermind wrote:Always, taking the second possibility in mind, just in case. I would try to ask myself whether my cooworkers aré really acting as jerks or it's that I'm twistering their acts. Give you a chance to improve in turbulent water.


Am I misreading their jokes, is it actually me and not them? I've come to believe that's a tough question. I know I can misread things. But on the other side of the coin, to be on the receiving end of actual hostile behavior and think I'm just misreading their jokes and not defend myself is worse because it will just get worse as the jerks see that their is no consequence to their actions.

Honestly, I think some people I work with are jerks who pass the time by hurting others, probably about 4 people. Most the people I like and/or get on with. Other people who I said are making jokes about me, I don't know either way whether it's just a joke or whether it's meant to be taken personally.

I've come to think now that things aren't going to get better at my job unless I don't have to spend my working time with certain people, which I think will mean that I have to get work elsewhere.

They're seeking attention, but don't have anything against you. Usually they'll get bored of it and move on to other things (or other people to pester).

That actually did happen, after I stood up for myself they suddenly started bitching at two other people, both of them have quit their job.
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Re: Had it with my job

Postby twistermind » Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:28 pm

As I don't know what your job consists on, I'll ask you some questions.
Does you work depend on them, or on their work? Does their jobs also depends on yours? I mean do they also depend on you in some way? Yes, I'm thinking about giving them a lesson. About marking the limits. I know it's hard for people with a low self-steem but if you can't find another placework or you don't feel like to leave the current one, you'll have to do it.

You have just said it. It's only a question of four jerks. In every job you'll find the same characters with different suits and different names. There will be always a couple of sharks who will want to take advantages of others. It doesn't matter if these advantages aré material or emotional.
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" Controlling Avoidance comes with understanding Avoidance. Treat the avoidance as a separated identity; that is, avíes decissions and your decissions" (by Dwight)
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