trezza wrote:Hello Dwight,
You're absolutely correct, instead of sitting around I should do something about it, but because I lack the motivation to do anything i end up spending my time alone, and I end up having these thoughts again, it's a rather vicious cycle. It's can be even worse after the rare occasion I do something social.
athwart wrote:I don't think I'm a bad person. Just someone who is not a likeable person. My child likes me, but that seems more biologically driven than anything. Little children will always love their caregiver unconditionally, it's how our brains are wired to survive. I love my child unconditionally, it's how the human race has survived. Nobody else can make her laugh so hard to give her hiccups like me.
As I get older, I see that people will always treat me a certain way, I really can't change how other people are, I can only change myself. If on a scale from -10 to +10, with -10 being mortal enemies and +10 being BFF, I'm content to be in the -1 to +1 range.
I go through those little manic episodes where I talk, and people think I'm weird. Just wanted to identify with OP.
I think you are probably likable, but your AvPD gives you false perceptions on how people view you. I told someone that I didn't think anybody really liked me, and she told me how she had told people what a cool person I was... something that really shocked me. I don't think anybody dislikes you, I think that people don't always know how to respond to really shy people so they treat them in a way that might make an avoidant person feel like they are being disliked.