You know, Ive been on this forum for over a month now, been leaving as well as responding to plenty of posts, reading about other peoples situations, and so far, this one has made the most sense. I want that problem fixed, and I want it fixed now. As soon as i get to that crisis stage, or feel like im starting to get to that point, Im automatically on my phone going through my contacts list until someone answers. Even though the very second they hang up, I feel better for a brief period of time, at least I get that break. Its just like medication, once you take that pill, even though it only lasts until the next time you're supposed to take it, at least it gets you by until then. Its like that quick fix.
After reading over your response though, that pretty much summed it up. I feel like an emotional burden, because I really am. People want to help out in any way they can. When I go to them 4-5 times a day, the same people, with the same issues, obviously the same issues re occuring i come to them on a regular basis, it gets to the point where they start to wonder if what they are saying is even validated, because they are just saying the same thing each time, yet i keep going back to them regarding similar issues. It starts to make them wonder why they are wasting there time when they are just giving the same answer each time. I was talking to my friend Kellie after reading your response, and I flat out said that I was sorry for putting her in that position. I knew she tried to be there any way she could. Eventually it got to the point where she said people stopped responding, trying to help out, because they didnt know what to say, how to react or respond, because they have never been through those situations themselves. Especially when you flat out say you dont want to live any more, i mean seriously, how is any normal person supposed to react to that on the spot. After having the talk with her though, she pretty much said that its ok to have a support group, people you can turn to when you absolutely need it. But for the most part, its my problem, and I need to take responsibility. Before I get others involved, I need to make sure I have gone through all of my coping skills I have developed up to this point, I need to try to work through it on my own, regardless of how painful it may be, and then at that point, if it still has not helped any, then turn to someone else who is in a more rational state of thinking and can help out some. That way others dont feel like they always have to be there, I am able to start handling things on my own, which will allow me to feel more independent, like i have more control over the situation, and not let the situation control me, and that in itself will greatly improve my relationships and friendships with others. So with that, like i said, out of all of the advice i have got on here, yours has by far made the most sense and has helped out the most. So thanks