Our partner

I avoid celebrating my birthday

Avoidant Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: lilyfairy

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby VenusWillendorf » Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:31 am

I recently had my birthday. There was no party. I really really wanted to have a party, with some of my best friends. Problem is, they're kinda new best friends, and they're both popular extroverts with several other more interesting friends, so I feel so insecure and unimportant when I think about inviting them, and I would really hate to pick the "wrong" date when they're not available. I made a mess of the dates last year, so I was extra anxious about that this year, and in the end I never invited anyone.

And last years party, I got really drunk and SANG out loud (playing rockband 2) and I'm not sure how to feel about that as well :shock: :oops:
AvPD - avoidant personality disorder
User avatar
VenusWillendorf
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 693
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:15 am
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 11:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby thewho » Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:38 am

Haven't had a birthday party in a long time, like probably not since I was a little kid. I thought of doing something for my 21st but didn't, just got together with my dad and about it. But my birthday is pretty important to me, but as someone said and same with me, last few years I've felt depressed by the end of it.

Hadn't even thought of throwing a party though, some year maybe when I actually have friends to invite.
User avatar
thewho
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 252
Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:14 am
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 4:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby lala2 » Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:49 am

Wow everyone, you've all articulated so well how I feel! I've never been drunk before, only tipsy--maybe I should try that this year in the comfort of my own house :p I agree! about the Facebook thing. I have just under 500 "friends" but it's been slowly dwindling with people deleting me and stuff, which I just try to look at as well, most of them are people I wouldn't have gotten to know better anyway (which has actually been true for the most part). Though I won't deny it makes me feel crap every time I find that out, questioning whether I offended them or not.

Yeah, yesterday I met up with that friend who has big parties and she was like, isn't your birthday soon? And I'm like "....yeah...." and she was like you should do something, good way to get everyone together, people will actually make an effort to turn up cos it's your bday and not just some meetup (I was thinking....you have no idea....) Then I gave all these excuses like it's 22, nothing special.....it's this weekend, pretty short notice to be giving to people....anyway I'm not fussed, we can have it later in the month, you know how I've been pretty lazy the last few months in general (I finished being qualified for a profession I discovered wasn't for me this time last month, and it was pretty gruelling, so this excuse is actually true). Hmmm. I don't know if I want to though--actually I don't know if I can handle it :( I'll sit on it. And I guess it's good in a way it's a 22nd not a 21st so it's not like it's some major occasion. That's the other thing I hate--having my birthday on a weekend where there's no excuse to say well, it's during the week and people can't come. It's fallen on either a Fri or weekend the last 3 years.
lala2
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 1:40 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:50 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby blimeybung » Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:58 am

If it makes any of you feel better, I only have 30 something friends on Facebook. And most of them are people I knew from activities I did when i wad little.

And I'm drunk ish. Just past tipsy, have been for the last two nights, with work the next morning. So don't feel bad about that either.
It might just be that I'm strange, but either way, its me.
blimeybung
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 237
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:33 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby fracula » Sat Apr 30, 2011 3:13 am

Thanks to this thread, I've just now discovered what I've had all these years. I was googling for my lack of a desire to celebrate my birthdays when I came across this thread which lead me to the discovery of AvPD. The descriptions I've read of it fit me perfectly. It can be said that we may see ourselves in various disorders, but this is too exact to leave me with any doubt.

So as I suggested, I don't celebrate my birthdays. I'm on my 24th now. I treat them as any other day, and at this point they don't even feel significant. I don't remember the last time I celebrated one, nor do I have any desire to in the future. I value the company of only my good friends, not strangers that are likely to be nothing more than irritating. If I ever choose to celebrate mine it will be in the company of one or more of those friends, this would please me the most. I am distant from my family, as developing AvPD might often suggest. Emotional neglect played a role in my development, and as such I now very distant from my family. In light of those facts, friends are what matter most to me in the world; those rare, hard to find, few friends out there that I'm able to keep. Celebrating your birthday should not be viewed as a mandatory practice, something you cannot do without. It should only be necessary to do what will make you happy. However, I also believe that the only point to life is to be happy and enjoy it, but we all have our own beliefs.
fracula
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:34 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 3:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby jaffy » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:50 am

perhaps you could start this time with something small? instead of a party, invite a couple of people to go out to dinner and maybe see a movie. or invite them to have a few drinks. this way it wont feel weird not having a lot of people there and you can ease back into the idea of celebrating your birthday.
jaffy
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 1:34 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby athwart » Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:45 pm

fracula wrote: Celebrating your birthday should not be viewed as a mandatory practice, something you cannot do without. It should only be necessary to do what will make you happy.


This is what I mean. Why should people feel required to do something for you, just because it's the anniversary of your birth? I feel that it's stupid and selfish. You tell someone it's your birthday, and they suddenly want to buy you lunch or something. To me, it's like gimme, gimme, gimme, I'm so special for doing nothing at all.
athwart
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:28 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 4:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby lala2 » Sun May 01, 2011 2:31 pm

So my birthday was today (1st May). Bummed around and tried to study for my midsem which is in 2 days (oops). Had a decent response from FB I think, at least some people posted some msgs and I got a text from that friend I met up with earlier in the week (she also posted on FB so wow!) Meh not too bad. But I'm glad it's over--don't have to think for another 364 days :p
lala2
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 1:40 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:50 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby VenusWillendorf » Sun May 01, 2011 3:46 pm

Happy birthday! :D
AvPD - avoidant personality disorder
User avatar
VenusWillendorf
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 693
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:15 am
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 11:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I avoid celebrating my birthday

Postby blimeybung » Sun May 01, 2011 9:27 pm

Happy birthday!
It might just be that I'm strange, but either way, its me.
blimeybung
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 237
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:33 pm
Local time: Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

PreviousNext

Return to Avoidant Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: HopelessRomantic, venividivicky and 86 guests

cron