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Abnormal Jealousy

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Re: Abnormal Jealousy

Postby Socialretard » Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:44 am

Socialretard wrote:Also you know nothing about AvPD if you think your problem has anything to do with this. Have no clue why you posted it in here. You have low self esteem and let men walk all over you and chalk it up to all men are "pigs".


Neuropath wrote:SR- really! The last thing us Avoidants need to do is chase people away and make our neurotic fears come true. :) IIRC, this is one of the most active boards on psychforums- probably because we are such good writers. So all manner of people might come wandering through- we can start by 'speaking' to them in ways that we should be speaking to ourselves. (Hey, you have to start somewhere.)


Have no clue why people bump posts that are 4+ months old. That being said i was wayyyy out of line with my comments, and i feel terrible about it. I took the post as a slap in the face to those who actually struggle w/ AvPD, and let my anger get the best of me. THere are many more appropriate sections this could have been posted in and if the mods actually did their jobs here it would have been moved.
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Re: Abnormal Jealousy

Postby Neuropath » Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:17 pm

SR- Apologies! I didn't check the dates and see that this was a ZOMBIE thread!! :twisted:

I'm glad you're still here and hopefully feeling better? I know I have my moments, that's for sure...
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Re: Abnormal Jealousy

Postby courtneyhope93 » Mon Feb 23, 2015 2:40 pm

Hi Lyra...
Your post is a few years old...but I came across it while trying to find solutions for this problem that I share with you. I don't know if you are even an active user, but I was hoping you may have found a way to cope with the issue that you could share?
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Re: Abnormal Jealousy

Postby Me two » Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:05 pm

I want to say for the record, that there is plenty reasons to resurrect any old thread. Other people are likely suffering in the way the OP has, which makes it entirely relevant, if maybe not for OP, but for other forum users. It's a community, we are here to learn and/or help/get help. Otherwise, what's the point in posting out here at all.

Also- remarks that this thread was not in the correct forum, I dispute that. Maybe socialretard is not an extremely insecure, complex AvPD WOMAN. I most certainly am to the very letter, and can identify with the OP, to the point that I too could have written this myself a couple years past. To me it is clear that socialretard for his/her sins past, does not get that.

To be honest, the OP has put into words what I never had - only felt. I found her post very insightful.

In my mid-thirties, I have certainly mellowed. The catalyst for this was walking away from a 'not even relationship' with a person who did not respect me, as he respected others. I am not blaming him - I stayed for so long as I did not want to be alone; thought I would never 'get' anyone else that 'good' again. But in the end it turned very sour, you cannot really build a sustainable relationship from a sexual one (from his side) especially when there were reasons to distrust like sleeping around and lying about it.

Being alone was the best thing that happened to me, in healing myself somewhat. I now understand myself a lot more, respect myself, and am happily married to a lovely person. Of course when a pretty woman is on TV I will mock her or him as OP says for being so shallow or stupid to like someone so mainstream/plastic, whatever. But I do not go crazy with jealousy anymore, or compare myself to his exes. I think that's because I took a few years out to be alone (as I'm Av, without a boyfriend equals to be completely alone) instead of bumping from one guy to another.

I can also identify with the hurtful things that were said to OP to help make her feel so un-special. That's because we attract men who see how fragile we are, how low a self-opinion we have/had, and they use us because they know we'll let them. It is a sad life, to be so alone we put ourselves in that firing line.

In any case - I just wanted to convey that it can get better. It starts with you treating yourself kinder.

-- Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:11 pm --

Oh and all I had going for me was my youth and (average) looks. So I attracted older men. And worried about what I was going to do when I was no longer young and so fresh. It is absolutely not shallow. It just means you feel you have absolutely nothing else to offer good.
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