by Me two » Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:05 pm
I want to say for the record, that there is plenty reasons to resurrect any old thread. Other people are likely suffering in the way the OP has, which makes it entirely relevant, if maybe not for OP, but for other forum users. It's a community, we are here to learn and/or help/get help. Otherwise, what's the point in posting out here at all.
Also- remarks that this thread was not in the correct forum, I dispute that. Maybe socialretard is not an extremely insecure, complex AvPD WOMAN. I most certainly am to the very letter, and can identify with the OP, to the point that I too could have written this myself a couple years past. To me it is clear that socialretard for his/her sins past, does not get that.
To be honest, the OP has put into words what I never had - only felt. I found her post very insightful.
In my mid-thirties, I have certainly mellowed. The catalyst for this was walking away from a 'not even relationship' with a person who did not respect me, as he respected others. I am not blaming him - I stayed for so long as I did not want to be alone; thought I would never 'get' anyone else that 'good' again. But in the end it turned very sour, you cannot really build a sustainable relationship from a sexual one (from his side) especially when there were reasons to distrust like sleeping around and lying about it.
Being alone was the best thing that happened to me, in healing myself somewhat. I now understand myself a lot more, respect myself, and am happily married to a lovely person. Of course when a pretty woman is on TV I will mock her or him as OP says for being so shallow or stupid to like someone so mainstream/plastic, whatever. But I do not go crazy with jealousy anymore, or compare myself to his exes. I think that's because I took a few years out to be alone (as I'm Av, without a boyfriend equals to be completely alone) instead of bumping from one guy to another.
I can also identify with the hurtful things that were said to OP to help make her feel so un-special. That's because we attract men who see how fragile we are, how low a self-opinion we have/had, and they use us because they know we'll let them. It is a sad life, to be so alone we put ourselves in that firing line.
In any case - I just wanted to convey that it can get better. It starts with you treating yourself kinder.
-- Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:11 pm --
Oh and all I had going for me was my youth and (average) looks. So I attracted older men. And worried about what I was going to do when I was no longer young and so fresh. It is absolutely not shallow. It just means you feel you have absolutely nothing else to offer good.
INTP AvPD
It does get easier...