Toxic Relationships

That's an interesting way to look at it Butterfly and I hadn't thought about it like that before.

My dad might be upset, but doesn't show it. My mum mentions it when we talk, not every time though. They live abroad and I only see them in person about twice a year so it would be difficult for her to force the situation.

I get on much better with my parents now we live in different countries - seriously!

The problem with being isolated and having next to no social contact is that you tend to ignore some signs that might be a bit more obvious to other people. I think that a lot of us here might have good instincts when it comes to people but being afraid or not wanting to engage in social contact makes that instinct go dull, or you ignore some gut feelings. Eventually, you end up falling for traps and seeing someone as okay, although there are red flags.

Best example would be how my mother knew that my brother's most recent ex was trouble but I didn't really know, although I've seen her a couple of times and kind of knew what she was about. The thing is that I ignored a couple of rather obvious factors, especially trouble that she had with family and such. I don't like taking some factors in consideration because I like to think that people can go beyond their circumstances, but that takes willpower and sometimes, some people either don't have any, can't have enough of it or aren't willing to use it.

So it can be difficult to detect and avoid toxic relationships or people that don't necessarily have the proper moral compass or even the tools necessary to deal with someone that has similar issues to people that come here. Sometimes it's not their fault, othertimes it can be malicious intent. It's difficult and bad experiences can lead to misanthropy, distrust and paranoia real quick.

I spoke to my mom about the incident with my aunt and uncle, and claims it was not her idea. I don't believe that. I also told her that I do not appreciate her saying the toxicity between my dad and is 50 percent my fault. I don't think you can blame someone who has been abused since they were a child for disliking the adult who inflicted the abuse.

I am convinced that my father has a personaility disorder. My mom is not much better, but I think she is definitely codependent. Neither of my parents see my sister and I as fully individual people. It took me five years to finally tell them that I am no longer Christian, and they are still in denial. Even today, I was talking about meditation, and eastern religion, and while I was in the bathroom my mom told my husband that it is just a phase.

At least I can hold off for a few months before I have to see her again.