inverse wrote:Woah! This thread seems out of control already.
I am diagnosed, and my gut says no, the OP is not AvPD. The reason is, look at the initial post. Super exuberant. Not timid at all. 99% of first posts by avoidants are responses to other posts, and most say they've been lurking and writing and deleting for weeks or longer, and almost all of them apologize for something about their writing. Classic hallmarks of low self-esteem and feelings of having no self-worth. This post is confident and friendly. It's either a case of the best "fake it til you make it" that I've ever seen, or there's no AvPD.
the "super exuberant" nature of my initial post was my attempt at sounding... chipper i, guess?
anyway i was able to write that post, and this one, because I am stoned. When i am high i gain enough self confidence to do things like this.
"99% of first posts by avoidants are responses to other posts, and most say they've been lurking and writing and deleting for weeks or longer, and almost all of them apologize for something about their writing."1. i don't respond to other peoples posts, because i dont initiate contact with people.
2. why would i say i've been lurking and writing for weeks when that would quite possibly a negative perspective on me in your mind.
3. I don't hand out apologies like candy for attention.
I came to this site to get a better understanding of my mental status, assuming i might be able to find someone who would understand my situation, not to poke fun at this condition, not to post insult against ANYONE. I simply wanted to find a feeling of social togetherness.
as to you not thinking i can have AvPd i would suggest you not judge a book by its cover, you know absolutely nothing about me.
- side note- I always have found it easier to socialize through typing than through verbal communication.
NoM8s wrote:Can I ask you why you think that you have AvPD? It's not for me to diagnose you but what are your problems? Mild depression could be a symptom but do you have a pathalogical fear of rejection and are you hypersensitive to personal criticism? Do you spend a lot of time daydreming and obsessing over social interactions and whether people liked you or not? These are all symptoms that I would recognise, amung others and I could relate to them but you are just saying that you're pretty sure that you've got this and what do we think about that?
Do you have a specific question that you think that we could help with?.
heres some of the background i was planning on discussing.
As I said, I'm 30 years old. family issues growing up, didn't make my first friend until i was 13, I was always picked on in school and was basically the chubby nerd who hangs by the other geeks. I have NEVER to this day asked a girl out. I have had one relationship, she initiated contact with me, and basically took me as her boyfriend. I was with her for 6 years for the simple fact that she was my first love and that she was the only girl to ever show interest in me. the 6 years we were together were filled with her cheating and me begging her to stay. we broke up 7.5 years ago and i have been single since. i did have a group of friends, outcasts like me but that changed and i moved into my current apartment 3 years ago. since moving into my own apartment i have stopped interacting with anyone, the only time i leave the house is to go shopping or to work, i avoid physical contact and eye contact despite my efforts not to.
i have had situations where i was physically unable to interact how i want.
example: fortunate circumstances had a beautiful 21 year old staying in my house with me. she was in a bad relationship and i had agreed to let her stay with me for a wile. one night she was coming on to me, i knew it. it was blatantly obvious but i still played it off like i wasn't wanting to. all the wile im screaming in my head to do something. so long story short, she stole $150 dollars from me on the night b4 thanksgiving and that ended that arrangement.
i think i mighta gone off track a little here, sry...
anyway im tired of writing responses now. good night.