There was another post that mentioned this, but I did not want to get off topic, so here a new post.
When put into a stressful situation, I often regress to feeling like a child. This happened again yesterday during my singing lesson.
We are preparing for a concert in June (I failed to refuse in time and somehow hope that it might help with AvPD) and were practising a song from Carmen. My teacher asked me to act like Carmen, an oversexed, manipulative, confident women, so that the gestures and the singing would reflect that better. I tried, but I just could not really feel myself as a women, not to mention sexy or confident. I felt more like a younger version of me (pre-teen) trapped in too big a body, like a suit; or like a gender neutral alien trying to operate a human body. Don't get me wrong, I felt myself, but that self was kind of shrunk and not really a women, but a child.
I know it has to do with low self-esteem, because I know I am different when I sing at home along, but it is a real problem. Can anyone relate to this and have a suggestion to overcome this? It is impossible to sing well when in that state.
Steady as she goes ...