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therapy session

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therapy session

Postby inverse » Fri Jul 24, 2015 12:09 am

No new bombshells this week. :)
However, she told me that if I self-isolate - and here's where she went all Cantor on me - then I would be denying that people could like me, not give them the option of liking me, I would be thinking for them.
Additionally we talked about how I take responsibility for things that I shouldn't.
She keeps asking me who told me that I have to be this way.
It's frustrating.
Also, she talks a lot. The session went over by half an hour, and she was quite happy to keep it going on. I'd say she talked 80% of the time. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I think I'm going to have to start getting rude and interrupt her.
For instance, she was all, woo woo single girls, thank god we don't have to deal with men's crap. She totally doesn't understand that I'm not single by choice. And it's not a matter of being shy or that I can't pull someone. It's a matter of, to be a decent person, I have to protect people from me. I'm vile and scum of the earth if I let someone get to know me, because I know how it will end, very badly with that person in a lot of pain.
I explained to her that I can talk to her, she has an exception, because I pay her, so when I get to be a pain in the ass at least she's being compensated, at least she's getting something out of it. She was totally offended by that.
I can't win...
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Re: therapy session

Postby jzapkone romapqik » Fri Jul 24, 2015 2:41 am

Youre vile and scum? What? A scummy person wouldn't think twice about interrupting someone. Youre on here questioning doing it. You're not scum,man. You just think youre unloveable bc of childhood.

-- Fri Jul 24, 2015 2:42 am --

Youre vile and scum? What? A scummy person wouldn't think twice about interrupting someone. Youre on here questioning doing it. You're not scum,man. You just think youre unloveable bc of childhood.
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Re: therapy session

Postby snookiebookie » Fri Jul 24, 2015 8:29 pm

Inverse, plain and simple that person isn't the therapist for you. If I'm correct you have had bad experiences before.

Whilst we Avoidants can be quick to give up on relationships, you need to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with. The whole reason for going to a therapist is to heal. If you aren't comfortable with that person, you won't heal correctly. In fact, further damage may happen.

Therapy in itself can be painful. Your therapist should provide you with a safe and comfortable environment for that, and support you and understand your trigger points. They should challenge you, but not confront you or trigger you.

Please don't be disheartened. Finding the right therapist can be a relevation.

You are paying for a service. I presume you are in the US where you pay for all your medical bills. Would you keep going back to a surgeon who leaves you with unsightly scars? Would you continue to pay his bills? You'd probably sue his ass! Don't put up with shoddy treatment just cos its psych. I'm not recommending legal action, just look around for someone else.

I'll keep my fingers crossed.

SB
No official DX but I still struggle with mental health issues constantly.
Symptoms of Social and Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
Strongly identify with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
Feel that I possibly have some kind of emotional trauma/Complex PTSD.
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Re: therapy session

Postby inverse » Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:37 pm

I had someone give me a different perspective today. He suggested that she was pushing against me to see where my walls are, and how well I pushed back, and all the talking she was doing about herself was to try to establish a relationship between us, that she is showing she trusts me so that I will trust her.
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Re: therapy session

Postby MangoExtract » Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:46 am

inverse wrote:I had someone give me a different perspective today. He suggested that she was pushing against me to see where my walls are, and how well I pushed back, and all the talking she was doing about herself was to try to establish a relationship between us, that she is showing she trusts me so that I will trust her.

That is possible. Therapists are as you said paid and doing a job so we should expect them to behave in a more planned, chest like manner. Though I'm a social outcast and weirdo so what she said might be normal.
I'm not sure how many times you've seen this therapist, or exactly how many times one needs to decide if that therapist is a good fit but you therapists are humans and you need to give them some time before you can form a accurate perspective.
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Re: therapy session

Postby Ameba » Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:19 am

I also think there is a good chance that the therapist is trying to find a way to work with you.
I have been to a handful of therapists, and the one I had for the longest time (about a year) used different approaches to see how I responded and which road to take. At times it felt like some sort of manipulation and that he probed for psychological reactions, ways to lower my defences. To gain trust from an avoidant as a therapist to keep therapy successful I believe is like walking a fine line or on the edge. Too much report or going too fast might result in discomfort and that the client unwilling to cooperate sooner or later walk away.

My therapist also talked a lot about himself at times, but kept it quite balanced other sessions. It was probably a way to see how I handled smalltak, if I could keep focus or interest in the subject, my responses and so forth. Venting with a client also build trust.

Might be good to give it a chance and see if it works out with her. You will know after some time.
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