A list

Here are some thoughts concerning many of the things that might be achieved through therapy, and that might be effective in lessening the impact of AvPD. For some, most might already be in place, and the rest achieved through therapy - some general maxims included, so a bit pedagogic, but then I guess I am much older than most here:


1. The building of self-confidence and self-esteem - in that one feels that what one does is important to oneself and relevant for others *** +++

2. The ability to handle fear and anxiety - only experience will probably help here, and we all face new situations constantly *** +++

3. The ability to experience and withstand pain of various sorts, e.g., grief, disappointment, loss, etc. - knowing that usually such pain is often only temporary *** +++

4. The ability to display courage - it might take many forms, i.e., in physical activities or in social situations, or in having radical views on something, and often only comes when one can accept that pain will sometimes be experienced *** ###

5. The ability to be able to focus on any particular thing, to have commitment, and to get involved - and also to have perseverence *** ###

6. The ability to be versatile, and to change when necessary - to adapt to new circumstances ***

7. The ability to recognise good sources of information (accurate, scientific, etc.) from bad information (personal opinion, poor evidence, myth, how information is presented or absent, etc.) - it is a bit pointless basing thinking or behaviour on bad information, but we often do +++

8. The ability to recognise irrational thoughts, sometimes produced by worry or anxiety - don't worry so much about things one cannot change readily +++

9. The ability to perceive accurately, and to think clearly and objectively, and to form a valid view on any particular subject, e.g., the dangers of fallacial reasoning +++

10. The ability to argue one's case and not be easily swayed by others - recognising the important points from the more peripheral ones *** +++

11. The ability to recognise that there might not be a 'black and white' answer to everything, such that some things are best left as 'unknown' - there are many ‘grey’ areas in life, such that being less judgmental is often the best course +++

12. The ability to withstand criticism - it might hurt but usually one will survive *** +++

13. The ability to have empathy for others, and to act on such empathy when required $$$

14. The ability to feel a full range of emotions, and to recognise each properly $$$

15. The ability to express oneself emotionally, and with one's thoughts - i.e., not being embarrassed about displaying any emotion, not suppressing them, and to act emotionally rather than have our thinking inhibit any actions that might normally result *** ### $$$

16. The ability to trust others, and to understand our and other's limitations in this respect *** ### $$$

17. The ability to understand friendships and the unspoken 'rules' - honesty, loyalty, non-abusiveness, not using others as tools for other aims, etc. ### $$$

18. The ability to be able to relax when necessary, and to just chill out - nobody really needs to be doing something 24/7, and being able to relax will often help when encountering potentially stressful situations

19. The ability not to become addicted to anything, particularly drugs, alcohol, gaming, etc. - they just limit our actions for other things, and why risk becoming a slave to any thing +++

20. The ability to be positive in life, especially when all the events around us can make us depressed about humankind in general +++

21. Be realistic about ambitions and expectations - i.e., don't live life as if everything needs to be done today or in a day ###

22. Don't expect success without hard work - it might come, but don't expect it ###

23. Don't think you can do 'anything' - we all have our limitations, so best to live with them ###

24. Try not to compare oneself with others - it is your life +++

25. Do not let others determine your life, e.g., by advertising or other media influences - i.e., be deterministic, not a ball kicked around by others +++

26. Don't worry too much about mistakes - they all tend to have a lifespan, but never be inhibited to apologise when necessary +++

27. Keep laughing, and don't believe all you read, since it often doesn’t reflect reality - perhaps just imbibe less of the ‘news’ which is often just the same old depressing influence on us

28. Liking others starts with liking oneself, so don't be too critical of yourself +++

29. If events from the past appear to be painful, and reoccur often, then it might be best to confront and resolve such issues, rather than leaving them to fester - it might be painful but it is likely to be the best way to deal with them *** +++

30. Recognise which events or experiences tend to cause us to go into ‘reaction’ mode - that is, we display the same typical response rather than actually dealing afresh with each new case *** +++

31. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally, by moderation in most things


The items in this list, for those who might need some work to achieve, could perhaps come about from the following forms of therapy:

*** ..... All these aspects might be improved during Group Therapy.
### .... Many of these aspects might be improved during all sorts of activities, particularly physical ones and where self-expression is a common requirement.
+++ .... These aspects might be improved during CBT.
$$$ .... Personal experiences and perhaps some special types of therapy might work here.


I am sure I have missed some important points - care to fill them in?

Hi, I'm the Queen of lists.
I'm gonna copy your list to achive each point in it.
I have some points achived. For example: Self-esteem. I think I reached a sane self-esteem.
I think this is the root of everything. If you have enough self-esteem, you will daré to do things, to change your opinions when it is necessary and many other things.

Thanks for your list. You do it very well on therapy.
Congratulations!

Er, try to remember you're human, not superman/woman and that no one is perfect

RememberRonni wrote:Er, try to remember you're human, not superman/woman and that no one is perfect