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Get out of your head

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Get out of your head

Postby Superman23 » Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:15 am

The past year has been the worst of my life but I survived. Not only did I survive I pushed myself as hard as I could working 50+ hours a week, lost 131 lbs. defeating my biggest demon, and completely remodeled my house spending hundreds of hours fixing it in the process.

The result? I've finally learned that AVPD is nothing more than a self made jail in your head created to hide from the world. Basically you figure that if you hide then nobody can harm you anymore. Sorry life doesn't work like that. No matter what you do you're going to have to face it. You'll just end up becoming isolated and angry at everybody.

So what's the secret? There is none. You put yourself in there on purpose. YOU DID IT TO YOURSELF. That's how you chose to deal with what happened to you. I know because I did the same thing. You get out by stop feeling sorry for yourself. Do you want to be 50 years old looking back on the choices you made realizing you just gave up?

Yeah I know life sucks a lot sometimes but man there are only two options - Fight or hide. Fighting back is the only choice that ever leads to success. You have to get out of your head, leave the past in the past where it belongs, and start fighting for yourself. Stop being a victim. It's not easy and you'll want to give up almost everyday but you can't if you ever want things to change. You're the only person who can do it. Nobody can fix your life for you.
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Re: Get out of your head

Postby HopelessRomantic » Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:28 pm

You are right to some extent. But we can't control everything taht is going on in our lives. We have some extent of control and there we should be as constructuve as we can be. But then there are thing we can't control and we need to learn how to accept it. I must agree that it is tricky to see the dfiffernce between what we can control and what not. This is why we make so many mistakes in our lives.
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Re: Get out of your head

Postby twistermind » Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:32 am

Fears are overcome by facing to them. There's not other way. However, avoiders also have to be awared of the reasons for these feelings of fear. Do we have fear of failure? Are we too much judgemental towards ourselves? How do we feel if the other person acts like us or do the things we are?

We need to know when our avíe part arises and try to do just the oposite.
Following a step by step social exposure can help a lot.
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Re: Get out of your head

Postby Mindovermatters » Wed Aug 27, 2014 3:24 pm

It is good to hear about your successes. Brings hope.

Curious about what were the things that turned it around for you? What were the underlying motivations? What were the things you did that helped?

I have been fighting this off and on for years. It grows tiresome. I have recently decided to 'do something every day that scares me'. Figure that will guide me to the things that are causing the issue. And if not, at least I will get better at doing uncomfortable things.
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Re: Get out of your head

Postby Superman23 » Thu Aug 28, 2014 12:09 pm

Mindovermatters wrote:It is good to hear about your successes. Brings hope.

Curious about what were the things that turned it around for you? What were the underlying motivations? What were the things you did that helped?

I have been fighting this off and on for years. It grows tiresome. I have recently decided to 'do something every day that scares me'. Figure that will guide me to the things that are causing the issue. And if not, at least I will get better at doing uncomfortable things.


Simply put I was forced to make a choice. I had been helping take care of my Dad for over 20 years and after he passed away last September I took over the house and it was up to me to sink or swim. The fear of losing the house I've been paying off for 22 years forced me to grow up and stop hiding.

You only have two choices in life. You can either hide from the world and complain about how much your life sucks OR you can fight back and do something about it. It's completely up to you and you alone. You are 100% responsible for how your life turns out. That's a scary thought but it's true. You need to punch life in the face and stop letting fear control you. Your past is gone and no longer exists. Your future is yours to make but you'll never move forward if you don't get out of your head and leave the past behind. Let it go and move on.
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