What's beyond AvPD & Agoraphobia?

Schizoid personality disorder? Vicariously living through fantasy (your false identities) can be a symptom. I also started out like you, now my issues are closer to those of SPD.

I've had fleeting psychosis caused by coming down off drugs, and what they say is true. Even though the psychosis was self-induced, I was 100% unaware that it was happening and that my thoughts were totally bizarre and irrational.

Isn't hallucination sort of a defence mechanism that result from among other things, a lack of stimulation? Also, you living isolated like that, maybe you are okay with it now, but maybe in 5 years from now you will be so absolutely sick with it that you will go crazy, climbing on the walls, biting your nails, being on the edge, trapped in your self-made prison, feeling a strong urge to get outside of that ######6 place asap. I got a "mild" form of that after staying inside my apartment without leaving for a couple of weeks. The first few days I enjoyed it alot. but after a while my mind and body had become so dulled and slow from this sedentary isolation with lack of stimulation. I may have a low tolerance for it compared to you, but in the long run who knows what could happen? I don't think we can predict such things.

By the way, you feel like two completely different people when replying to that image and talking about your job interview compared to your other posts. How do you manage a job interview, talking to strangers (with no pressure I know) but actively avoids even seeing other human beings as you walk down the streets once in a blue moon?

tanoshi wrote: How do you manage a job interview, talking to strangers (with no pressure I know) but actively avoid even seeing other human beings as you walk down the streets once in a blue moon?

Because I need a job. So I need to please the people hiring me so I can be hired.
And everyone else besides this job is irrelevant. I'm not sure I understand the question.

But yeah.. Just kinda fake persona for the job, and fake persona for walking down the street.
It isn't really emotionally hurting me. I feel very apathetic kind of.

...and btw you need to click with the people you will work with. During the interview, you need to have some instant attraction or excitment about the prosect of working with these people. If you don't, then there is no point.

The point is not dying from hunger? Not getting evicted from your apartment?
I know if I waited until I get excited about a job, I wouldn't be sitting here.

venividivicky wrote:

...and btw you need to click with the people you will work with. During the interview, you need to have some instant attraction or excitment about the prosect of working with these people. If you don't, then there is no point.

The point is not dying from hunger? Not getting evicted from your apartment?
I know if I waited until I get excited about a job, I wouldn't be sitting here.

If you don't suffer from major health problems, like a depression, and you don't have any family member who would support you, then, of course, take any job which does not make you suffer excessively or is damaging your health.

I don't have much choice either way as I am supporting myself and my mother, but I really wouldn't allow a relative to support me unless I had some debilitating illness (major depression or social phobia definitely qualifies). I think standing on your own two feet is a reason enough to get a job.

I don't think I would mind living in a world of hallucinations and delusions. Then I could have a delusional girlfriend who will love me, and a delusional family who will support me and love me, and I will have a delusional pet dog that loves me, and I will be happy. As long as I think it's real, it's good enough for me.