Eye-Contact: Can You Learn It?

Okay, so here's the run-down. I believe whole-heartedly that numerous times psychologists and psychiatrists have overlooked my very real possibility of having Asperger's Syndrome. If you guys require I provide first-hand experience as well as a list of objective observations made by my roommate, then I can reply to this thread justifying why I claim that I have AS. That aside, this was my recent experience in a psych ward at a hospital for 3 nights and 3 days. I would like to hear your thoughts on these matters.

For 99% of the time I was there my eyes were always firmly planted on the floor and I made little to NO eye contact with hardly anyone. Then, during one of the "processing groups" where we have to set challenges for ourselves to achieve in the hour we are forced to sit in a circle and talk to the other patients, I decided to choose to improve my lack of eye-contact. Big mistake. For most of the hour, everyone was either telling me why my lack of eye-contact was bad and how it was being perceived (people can't trust me, seems like I'm insincere, I'm disinterested in what the person is saying, etc). If they weren't making me feel like absolute crap over not keeping eye-contact, then they were giving me suggestions on how I could change if I wanted to and how I could work on it, that it wasn't ingrained in me as a person... but then I got to thinking... what if I can't change it? So I wanted to ask you all here. Do you think someone with AS or Autism can improve on eye-contact if they work really hard at it?

Secondly, I explained to them why I don't make eye-contact. They all assumed I was anxious and shy. And, as I stared at one of the chair legs, I said, "Actually, I'm not that anxious at all right now. The reason I don't make eye-contact is because I notice that if I'm looking at someone's face I tend to overthink what their facial expressions mean. I find it very difficult to read social cues and identify all the subtle nuances of facial gestures. So I don't hear what you're saying because I'm trying to figure out what you're non-verbally saying. This way, when I'm looking at the rug for instance, when I hear you talk, I can picture the words in my head and read it almost like a book and comprehend it better."

They all thought this was interesting... yet no one ever brought up the possibility of me being an Aspie.

I could go on about some other characteristics and behaviors and things inside and outside the hospital setting, but my main question was already stated --

Do you think someone with AS or Autism can teach themselves to make eye-contact? Why or why not?

I had issues with eye-contact a long time ago. I don't remember if it was always like that (probably not). I got out of it only by practising. For me it wasn't about facial expressions etc - it was just too intense. It actually "hurt" to look someone in the eye, like someone would slice my brain (yes, I know that the brain can't feel pain). I think it was a kind of some sensory overload.
What motivated me was - everyone thought I was shy, like in your case. And I wasn't. And it pissed me off so much I made myself look people in the eye. And with every time it was easier and easier and I even forgot I ever had any problems with it. So yes, I believe it can be done, though it probably can't be done without "pain" and effort.

It's possible to learn to make eye contact. Learning how to do something and having it feel natural are two entirely different things, however.

My lack of eye-gaze is one of the main reasons it was perceived that I may be an aspie (along with lack of understanding of social-cues.)
I never gave it a thought, really.
It's not an anxious thing. Ever since I can remember, I've never looked anyone in the eyes. If someone is talking to me, I will once in a while gaze for a second and then look down. If I'm speaking to someone, my eyes are focused away from them.

I was just recently tested for ASD. I'm waiting for results.

I think anything can be learned, even if it's painful. You may be able to improve, if you're willing to try it.

My eye gaze has improved with people I know very well- It isn't perfect, but I make an effort to be conscious of it. If it's somone new, however, forget it. It's such a foreign concept.

It's funny, I spent 3 nights on the psyche ward as well.

Thanks for everyone's response. I have been forcing myself to make more eye contact, especially since my new promotion involves me interacting with store managers.

is the no eye-contact an empathy thing
if i have to interact with someone and i'm bored my mind goes off and so do my eyes
not selden i'm looking for the exit couse i'm bored
so if you feel your eyes wandering off see if the person you areinteracting with is boring you
if it's a hot girl/boy you fancy it problebe doesn't hapen

so bordem lack of empathy?