Getting Fed Up

Okay, hopefully no one will take this post the wrong way but here goes..

I moved into an upstairs flat (I live by myself) about 6months ago and have never felt welcomed really. Anyway, for most of that 6 months I have been hearing many random voices and people talking about me, I must admit I can be very sensitive.

Most of this has *crosses fingers* died down but their has been this 1 voice (who I'm sure is the guy below me) that's been constant, literally.

No matter what I do he always says something, its like he's stalking? For example I go to the bathroom I'll hear him say 'oh is that her in the bathroom?' I'll go outside and he's like 'Oh she's back!' or something about the fact I'm out or have been out. No matter what I do I have to hear him say something..
What is his problem and what does it matter what I do or I'm currently doing? as if its any of his business..
I'm seriously getting tired of this..

Like today I was telling my viewers (as I stream online) and I was telling them how I'm getting fed up and that I hate my neighbours because of this constant niggling.
The guy below must of heard and shouted loud enough for me to hear again 'Its because I'm a freak that everyone moans about me' (well replace the word 'moan' with 'talk', I just use the word moan because yea I'm getting fed up of his constant whatever comes out of his god-damn mouth!).
The guy is barely ever out as you can always hear him banging about and he is in his 40-60s and lives alone

If he has an issue cant he come to me and tell me? rather than saying things. I'm a friendly person and depending on what his problem is am willing to do my best to fix it. I do have 2 indoor cats and 1 of which is young and thus hyper, is this his problem?

It's hard for me to fit in being an Aspie an all, thus going out alone and talking to others and just generally trying to fit in is difficult for me, having all this is hard enough to live with then to have this guy moan about me all the time.

There is another guy who live opposite but has to walk past my door in order to get to his place and he moans about me too on a regular basis but he isn't too bad its just the guy below.

Why cant people understand that if I fail to talk to someone that I cant help it its just difficult and I mean no offence by it, or if I don't go out much on my own then why does it have to concern them enough to have a quick dig?
I must admit I've improved these past month or so as I do go out alone but its usually just once a day and no one notices me and thus think I don't go out at all, which gets on my nerves as this is a difficult thing and they are telling people that I don't go out at all -.-

They know I'm an Aspie so why not look up my condition and try to be more considerate? and understanding?

Like I said I do go out alone but usually once a day and I'm not sure if I enojy this or just feel pressured into it in hopes of these people leaving me alone, I must admit sometimes I do feel scared to return home on occasions because of all this

So yea sorry for the long post but I really am fed up with it all and just want to get it off my chest a bit and don't really know where to turn.

So if you where in my shoes what would you do? if anyone has a similar story how do you handle it? is there any way I can just try to cope with it better? any help?

Again sorry for this I'm just fed up, I just had my birthday a few days back and it didn't exactly go well =(

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Now I could tell you what I would do, but I think the way men and women cope with problems can be significantly different.

Can you tell me more? Do you believe you may have done something that may have been interpreted as offensive to them? One problem many individuals with Asperger's have is failing to realize what is appropriate and what isn't (socially). Have you ever talked to them? Maybe they are interested in you.

Perhaps they are frustrated that you are always in solitude when they want to get to know you more. Over time that feeling (amongst males) can lead to this sort of harassment, especially since you referred to the one as being a possible "stalker."

Have you thought about confronting them?

DoobieDoom wrote:I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Now I could tell you what I would do, but I think the way men and women cope with problems can be significantly different.

Can you tell me more? Do you believe you may have done something that may have been interpreted as offensive to them? One problem many individuals with Asperger's have is failing to realize what is appropriate and what isn't (socially). Have you ever talked to them? Maybe they are interested in you.

Perhaps they are frustrated that you are always in solitude when they want to get to know you more. Over time that feeling (amongst males) can lead to this sort of harassment, especially since you referred to the one as being a possible "stalker."

Have you thought about confronting them?

Well tbh I have only ever saw him twice and on both occasions not really lol just basic small talk of 'Hi, how are you?' and that's it basically xD

It's not like he ever talks to me though if he sees me he'll just be mute and I'll have to make the first attempt to talk, which is obviously difficult for me

I'm not the best at talking, barely have any confidence as it is. Spent the last few years living as a total recluse xD

But you are so good at talking online! the "xD" let's me know that you are talking in a casual and friendly manner, what if you could think of a way to give off the same impression in real life as "xD" online? XD

Then it wouldn't be so hard to talk to them because you will know their response ahead of time, hopefully. :p

Hello TS

First of all, my sympathies for the difficulties you are having to cope with. Bad patches do come along, but they usually don't last for ever. It just feels like it at the time....

The walls must be very thin where you live if you can hear all his little remarks, and if he can hear what you are saying inside your own flat. You say you think it's the guy below, but you don't sound sure. You need to establish that. If it is him, I'm not sure It would be a good idea to confront him. Us folks with AS find it hard to get our point over at the best of times, and you don't want a situation that's just awkward at present turning into something worse.

You are clearly finding all this problematic and distressing, but try and keep it in perspective. If all the guy is doing is moaning about you, that's really just a piece of trivia that doesn't affect you unless you let it. He's just sounding off and won't be dwelling on it, so why should you? Perhaps it has got bigger in your mind than it objectively is. If nobody is doing anything to you, threatening you or abusing you, there isn't actually a major problem, just an annoyance.

I would ask myself whether I am doing something that anyone else could reasonably consider annoying, eg. do I make a lot of noise? I only have your side of the story, but from what you say it sounds as if the guy below is the one with the problem, not you. If he lives alone, who is he talking to? And if he really is not a nice person, don't let him see that this is upsetting you or he might think he has control of the situation and start to bully you.

I don't see why it should make any difference to anyone else whether or not you go out much. If the man downstairs hardly ever goes out, he is no different to you in that respect. If you are not interfering with these people's lives, why should they have any problem with you?

I suggest being correct, pleasant and polite whilst holding him at a distance. I certainly wouldn't try to do things differently in order to please him, beyond of course behaving with normal consideration for others. I don't suggest actively trying to make friends either. If he has a problem with you, he should come to you and try to resolve it, but instead all he does is gripe about it. Why should you put yourself out to try and sort out a problem he seems to have but hasn't even told you about?

I hope this helps a bit. It seems inadequate but I'll post it anyway. Best of luck with getting things onto a smooth track!!