Shift your attitude slightly. Girlfriends aren't you something you go and "get" like groceries at a supermarket.
To get a girlfriend is to enter a relationship. So I think you should change the question in your mind to "How can I become a boyfriend?" Then the focus is on you, and what you can do - rather than about obtaining the coveted girlfriend object.
In order to become a boyfriend, find a woman to whom you are attracted, contact her, and start taking an interest in her as a person. Learning better communication skills, particularly how to listen and how to express feelings is usually helpful. Dating is usually nerve-wracking and awkward, but it gets easier with practice.
Words to heed
-- Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:56 pm --
women are people?
i kid, its a joke.
but this is true. Its more about going out, making a friend and then you become GF/BF or just looking pretty and hope a girl comes to you.
Also it helps to not date. Hang out with someone on your and her terms. labeling dates creates awkwardness. It creates standards you need to meet. Make it an "evening out with a friend". ive never been on a date. I however have eaten 1v1 with girls, gone star gazing, just watched TV, went swimming, helped find things for her to photograph. This relieves pressure if your just "hey wanna hang out today?" instead of "Wanna go on a date?". However dont be a friend, be a person she wants to date. Meaning dont handshake, give her a hug.BE flirty(if you know how to do this, i never figured it out). Show interest. If a girl is interested they wont friend zone you unless you take years to get around to defining the relationship. If your friend zoned chances are she wasnt interested anyway.Once I'm comfortable enough and know their a decent person I ask them how they are feeling about us.
but this is just IMO.This is how i deal with the bullcrap of this. This may work for you, it may not, its only a suggestion.
More good stuff.
-- Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:57 pm --
Rascal77s wrote:Ok I know I'm going to get some hate for this but here is the truth. I've found that being in good shape attracts women. Money attracts women (nice car, nice clothes, etc). And being different attracts women (if you have money). So start lifting weights and figure out how to make the money. I've had pretty good luck in the past but the 'girlfriends' just wanted sex (but then again so did I when I was younger). I guess what it really comes down to is what do you want in a girlfriend. If what you want is the above then money and fitness will help.
If companionship and long term relationship are what you want then you just need to be yourself. The only advice I can give you is that you need to not worry about rejection and just go talk to a woman if you like her. If she turns you down so what. If you are nice and respectful you will be turned down gently. If you aren't turned down gently she's a bitch and not for you anyway. Eventually you will meet someone who likes you and you take it from there. I would highly recommend that you try to meet women who have the same interests as you. Look for interest groups to join and look for women in those groups who share your specific interests. If I were interested in a relationship right now that's what I would do, god knows there are a lot of women who love animals lol
And again! I hope you really take all this to heart and contextualize it into your life, 'cause it's all very good advice.
Now my $.02:
I am married 20 years to a really hot woman who takes GOOD care of Daddy, with two kids in their teens. I have had a few girlfriends, fewer than my NT friends, but I have some experience besides my marriage. (All before my wife-- I have never cheated, though I have had offers). I have had my heart broken 5 times, and broken 3. My wife is the only time I ever fell in love that it was reciprocal and worked out. I was good-looking when I was younger, but now am a worn-out, scarred-up 46 year old. It is not shallow to be in shape and look your best. This is part of how it all works, and I've said before: Be clean, don't stink, do your best to wear clean chothes and dress a little. Be in shape. Brush your fricking teeth! What you're doing here is not trying to replace a real relationship with shallow things, but create OPPORTUNITY to meet girls and be their friends, flirt, get to know them and their friends. The more girls you know and talk to, the more chances you will have of that spark occurring between you and one of them one day. What you and SHE, whoever, wherever she is, are looking for is INTIMACY. The feeling of acceptance, of pleasure in each-others' company, of being able to be yourselves without being judged. All the physical stuff is, obviously necessary, but the biggest turn-on is being vulnerable with a girl. That, shared mutually, is...WOW. So, be yourself, warts and all. Be transparent and comfortable with yourself. And since women are the ones that choose, and are always evaluating men for furture potential, get a good job and career. Manage your affairs well. Do things that build real character in yourself. Be levelheaded, courageous. Be generous and kind. Don't be insecure, prideful, angry, etc. Take more interest in others and don't expect them to necessarily be that interested in you. Have a sense of humor, especially about yourself. This is magnetic to women, and helps you to deal with life's inevitable and constant humiliations and failures. Make them laugh and laugh at yourself. Show interest, but don't smother, crowd or be creepy. Think about what kind of personal traits it takes to succeed in a relationship long-term and truly cultivate them in yourself. When the time comes and you think there may be something there, be courageous, and be OK with failing or being shut down. cause this is what happens nearly all the time. Eventually, she'll reciprocate, and then you, and so on and so forth. You will then be in a relationship, and your troubles will just be beginning. I'll end with this:
Be careful what you ask for, you may just get it.