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Asperger's and Asexuality

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Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby LFC 4ever » Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:15 am

So how should I begin...

Ok. The first thing to note is that for much of my life I have had no attraction towards watching porn at all. I remember even in days as young as the age of 12 that my friends would go about gossiping, trading and watching porn every now and then. Once we were having a get-together at a friends' home and in his room they all started watching porn. I had no interest in it, and I made that clear. So they jokingly got hold of my limbs and forced me to sit in front of the PC and watch it along with them. But I desperately wrangled myself free in due time.

Not much has changed since then. One friend was boasting the other day of having 40 GB porn in his PC. Another countered it with the fact that he has to delete gigabytes and gigabytes of porn every day to make room for more. As opposed to them space taken up by porn in my PC: 0 kb.

One would think tilting towards asexuality I would have no reaction when watching porn, but that's the furthermost thing from the truth. I DO have a reaction, but its quite a negative one. To put it in perspective, watching porn for me is as appealing as watching someone feast on the brains of a live monkey.

I never had an attraction towards sex at all. I'm 18 now, and that hasn't changed. My friends are almost all non-virgins, and they have this view that screwing is what finally turns you into a man and all that crap. But I'm not buying it. I'm against pre-marital sex for myself, but what's concerning is that I feel I can go without having sex in life ever. Now that's not good for a guy who has to marry one day.

Don't get me wrong, I CAN have romantic feelings for a girl. I've been in love twice so far in my life, both very consuming, and been in a relationship with one of them, though it ended in disastrous circumstances, but I WOULD like to get married one day, take up the responsibility of a girl. But sex.....I just don't know if I can sign up for it.

My questions:
- Is there any correlation between AS and Asexuality?
- Do anyone of u have impressions on sex and porn anywhere near as similar as mine?
- What do I do at this point? Should I just decide to never ever marry someone in life?
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby onlysleep » Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:01 am

I wish to God I was an asexual. I HATE sexuality, I've gone so far to take hormones to get rid of my testosterone, I've even toyed with the idea of physical castration.. Sexually, adults revolt me. I'd describe myself as "gay", but I can hardly think of anything more disgusting than a man (including myself). They're absolutely revolting. I lost my virginity when I was 22, and here's some advice: DON'T lose your virginity! It's horribly traumatic and repulsive. Porn is a bit different, unless it's people actually engaging in sex, then I gag. As a 12 or 13 year old, I would gladly have had sex with another boy, but definitely not now, as my peers are hideously ugly adults, not beautiful children. So it's celibacy for me now.
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby petrossa » Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:14 am

@onlysleep.
Asexuality means not having interest in sex, not being sexeless.

Afaik asexuality is indeed a commonality but not a prerequisite with AS. I'm mostly asexual myself. Can live perfectly well without and only engage to please my partner.

She has to remind me, i try to keep a roster in my mind to fake interest, but mostly procrastinate.

Sex is such a demeaning, base action.
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby fireflyboy » Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:18 am

I can't speak for myself as i'm an NT that watches these forums, but my girlfriend (who has AS) is more or less a-sexual, next to no interest in sex, curiosity yes, but no interest.
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby watta » Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:45 am

Asexuality means not having interest in sex, not being sexeless.


I find it interesting, this very often appearing topic speaks about sex and sexuality without any relation to the person with whome it is to be to have the sex. But for me, it is the most important thing on it. I know that there are people, many of them about aspergers, who don't love the sex at all. But also for some of these people, there is "sex" and "sex". There is no one thing to be called sex, at all. There are multiple forms of it. I don't see anything same on the sex "for sex" and sex for love. Why people call it by the same name? This is strange for me. Then, there is also my sex and sex of the others. What is my business, the sex of others? Why should I be interesting to it? It doesn't make me asexual I don't see nothing erotic in porno. It is even funny how some strange, usually not very good looking people are trying to do some exercising with their bodies before the camera. This should be sexy? :) Embarrassing.
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby Archaeophile » Tue Nov 09, 2010 4:47 pm

Very interesting.

I lost my virginity at 13. Went the next 7 years going without. I even walked 8 miles home one night instead of climbing in a girls bed, and by most peoples standards she was very attractive. I have two sons, 6 and 6 months, from two different women. I've never had a relationship last longer then this last one, which just ended at 15 months. 20 out of 29 months I spent with the mothers of my children were spent with them pregnant.

During those 7 years I often wondered about asexuality. I had 0 desire. I looked at porn out of fascination but felt no attraction towards the women on camera at all.

Is sex not a social thing?
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby petrossa » Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:48 pm

The act itself is the motions needed to reproduce.

This is risky business, since as a male you have to fight other males for the female. This takes energy and also risks that you lose and can't reproduce. So in order to make you do it anyway hormones are released, circuits in the brain get activated, which makes it a rewarding activity. This entices a animal to go ahead with it, since logically it is a wasteful, dangerous activity.

This is how in any case mammals are wired.

The mammal Homo sapiens has created an explanation for these base emotions, something to give it meaning. They call this love. A nice cozy tale which masks the underlying hardwired drive to procreation.

If you're less given to fairy-tales of princes on white horses you see it for what it is. And then it becomes less attractive. Why bother, a beer is nice too. :)
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby watta » Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:06 pm

The sex has many parts. The "reproduction part" is one of it. Nevermind how important or fundamental - of course this is the natural source and reason for it when we look at the sex as the reproduction mechanism among some unisexual animals. The "nature", this "big existence" whose we are part of it has many similar mechanism for many oportunities, to understand it it can help we forgot to see it as separated individuals or on the contrary we see us as whole of many individuals in our body (cells, methyls, proteins, electrons etc.).

But, in contradistinction to animals, this is not the only function of sex in human population. As Archaeophile already asked - yes, the function is social as well. So this is, in fact, really not just about the reproduction, among human. And there some interpersonal problems rise because the level of "being human" is different in everyone of us.

Me personally I am not asexual, although I don´t know what is "missing sex". But the experience of amalgamation with the right other is the most beautiful experience to me what human can percieve. We are glad to have many interesting perceptional and sensoric possibilities, as human. I don´t speak about the central motive of sex for probably many people which is coitus, but about sex as a whole, because this is very significant exchange of somatic "information", on the physical level. That´s also the reason why it is so important who exactly is the other person. It is inadmissible to touch the alien people, it is like two worlds. Yes, there are two worlds at the moment in the world. But at this particular event the choice is many times over important and narrow. From the alien people, the touch is serious contamination even when it doesn´t have any sexual intention.
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby Rusalki_Cneajna » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:06 pm

As far as correlation, a lot of co-morbid conditions (depression, anxiety disorders) frequently seen with Asperger's, and the drugs used to treat them, reduce libido. I'm not asexual, but have little sex drive; I'm not adventurous, never cared for trying different positions, different places, always found porn and sex toy shops repulsive.
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Re: Asperger's and Asexuality

Postby Archaeophile » Wed Nov 10, 2010 12:01 am

For me, it seems that if a female chooses to perform sexual actions on camera then I am immediately not attracted to her because of what that action says about her personality. I hold myself to high moral standards and would expect any potential mate to do the same. Perhaps I am being too logical about it and should just realize that I have an innate carnal desire to procreate.
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