Help for Communication/Offense problems

I think I have a problem with offending people and just talking to some people because I often overdo or even go over what I say and do. My emotions at that time tend to block my judgment and common sense of things. I've been loud, cursing, and even pissed off as of the past few days of late. I think something's wrong. The past week's been hard.

I am on no medications and not seeing any doctors now. I was seeing a woman as of late until I was notified that she went across town. I haven't gone to see her lately. A few months ago, I stopped the last medication I was taking and that was risperdal. It did nothing but made me sleep all the time> My behavior was unchanged. It's been bad because my family's been jumping down my neck and that I haven't heard anything from my uncle yet. I don't understand why I've been doing so well and then it falls apart like it's some nightmare. I need someone or something to help me out. I don't know what's going on.

I am talking to a counselor often at the college but a doctor no. That's all. I did endure a bout of depression not too long ago but that's passed now. I stopped all meds and I got better.

In my eyes, you were always one to get involved with things Marv, which can be very good. The problem is of course when you go overboard and don't know how to back down (or take a breather). This will no doubt happen again in the future, and you should therefore anticipate and plan for it. For now, be wuite aware that you really have no obligation to anyone but yourself in life. The obligation to yourself that you must uphold is to look after your own wellbeing. For the next few days, don't do what you'd normally do. Take breaks and go slowly.

Kevin

from what i know of respiridone, it's a very powerful anti-psychotic with severe side effects. you, can't just stop taking it over night. you need to come off it gradually. that may be a factor.

but Chucky is right in what he says.

i think you need to discipline yorself to not get involved in disputes. they seldom end well and it's usually better to walk away seener rather than later. the main cause of dispiutes is simply people trying to 'pull each others' strings'. if you don't 'pull other peoples' strings' you can then reasonable expect 'them not to pull yours'. and thus you'll be much more able to disengage with others' when they start a dispute or simply not be the cause of one in the first place.

that will give you the emotional 'space' you need to get your life back on an 'even keel'. and when you've done that you may find a whole new world of possibilities opens up to you. because we often shutdown the possibilities in our life through our own negativity and the way that affects those around us too.

It's not that simple my friend, what about if it's you're own family? Usually that's the case with me especially with my grandma and uncle. There's no handbook on how to deal with aggravating family members. As far as the drug goes, I've done a lot better without it. Even though I may have used the wrong method. I just took it on and off and then slowly wore myself off of it. In a few days, things got somewhat better. I did this on my own. No one helped me but myself.

Now, I don't trust doctors anymore after this bad experience. They're just about making money like these drug companies are. They don't care about you or your health.

Chucky wrote:In my eyes, you were always one to get involved with things Marv, which can be very good. The problem is of course when you go overboard and don't know how to back down (or take a breather). This will no doubt happen again in the future, and you should therefore anticipate and plan for it. For now, be wuite aware that you really have no obligation to anyone but yourself in life. The obligation to yourself that you must uphold is to look after your own wellbeing. For the next few days, don't do what you'd normally do. Take breaks and go slowly.

Kevin

I'm in the process of finishing my courses and I'm afraid that it's time to buckle down and get some work done. Fall's just around the corner and I don't have time to rest much anymore. I have to finish this math in a week now and soon my ethics course will be done by this month's end. Sorry but it's way too late to take a break. This is my life now. This is why I haven't emailed you either. It's because I'm busy. So are you right? That's why I respected that and didn't contact you for some time. I won't until I'm done with classes in a few weeks. In other words, it'll be like this for a bit longer. If something else comes up, maybe I'll talk to you about it. Until then, this is adios for now.

I tend to go overboard with things, but these days more in areas where it doesn't matter that I do. Along the way I've sorta learned to better judge situations and know when to back off a bit. For example, in various jobs I've sent some somewhat questionable emails, which have at times offended people. In my current job I have a pretty good boss, and he knows I can go a tad too far sometimes, so I'll send him what my reply is going to be for him to read over first. Or I'll just forward the original email to him and ask his opinion on how to approach it.

In other areas of life, if it's an area where it could cause problems, I'll try to keep relatively calm. I can take an argument to utterly absurd levels based on logic and principles, and once I start I just won't stop. At the time it might not seem so ridiculous, but I can think back later and see that (even though I might have been right ) perpetuating and escalating the whole thing just really wasn't helping much. So I'll keep myself back, despite the urge to verbally rip the person apart, and then afterwards I'll take my anger/frustration off somewhere for a bit of "me time". If I'm at home, I'll play or work on one of my guitars, play games, watch a movie, read, whatever... if I'm at work, I'll put my headphones on and bury myself in my own work, or maybe go outside for a cigarette, etc. Even if I'm at someone's house with a bunch of people for some kind of gathering, often I'll just go outside or into another room on my own for a bit and put my headphones on. If I'm out somewhere (pub or whatever), I might go outside on my own for a smoke just to get away for a bit.


As for family members... I'm not the one to comment on that specifically. I've never particularly been too close to my family, and because of one particular member, I have very little contact with any of them anymore. Not even sure they know where I live at the moment. Before I moved out, I just spent a lot of time on my own in my room doing my own stuff. These days, I don't see any of them much at all, I don't go to Christmas things or anything like that.

Also, in arguments, I often find it helps to just be exaggeratedly calm about the whole thing. Keep quiet, let the other person go off, keep your responses very well thought out and well spoken. If they're being loud and obnoxious, feel free to calmly point out that doing so just doesn't benefit the situation at all. If they keep trying to talk over you as you give your calmly stated answers, point out that there's no point in even continuing the discussion if you're not going to be allowed to speak or they're not going to listen.

If someone at work is going off at me about needing something done urgently that I just can't do, it's not going to help to just fight back in an equally loud fashion. If I just calmly state the fact that, "Well actually, it's physically impossible for me to do that in timeframe you're talking about. [insert brief rational explanation as to why]" If they keep pushing it, I might just tell them there's no point continuing to do so as it simply isn't feasible for the previously stated reasons. They're free to take it to my boss if they want, but I'll just be giving him the same explanation. etc. etc.


If you can keep yourself calm and reasonable, I've found the other person often tends to either lose the plot (basically they had their mind made up before they started, and then you just proved why that mindset is wrong and they've now got nothing to argue), or they realise they're being an unreasonable tit and back down a bit. Either way, a small amusing victory in my mind.

Marv, you can email me at any time you want. I always welcome your emails. Plus, if anything, now is the best time to take a break. Even if you have a big exam the following day, you should take a break. We aren't machines and wwe cannot study for hours on end and expect to take everything in. I used to take short walks after every hour or so, or just use the computer.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.

kevin