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Sensitivity to criticism

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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby 13243546 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:51 am

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Last edited by 13243546 on Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby 13243546 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:52 am

TNSe wrote:I'm not so worried. I know I'm always right.


:lol:

:wink:
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby zombiefishstix » Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:17 pm

criticism always makes me either really depressed or really angry...not too much in between there.
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby Sorn » Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:14 pm

I spoke about this topic with my mom recently, and she informed me that I must debate everything, and that when I am criticized I immediately lash back with retort.

She used the example "I could tell you its a hot day, and you would shoot back that it is not and that im wrong"

I then explained to her that im not retorting, but simply adding literal commentary to her statement about my position on the matter. The implication that I am ignoring her statement, or denying it is because my literal statement, when taken into context, might be interpreted as rejection. However, since the statement is intended literally, I would say that I did not mean to cause any rejection, just that my AS made me appear to do so.

I said that I would not reject, just say "Nah, its more like a nice warm 73 degree's." My literal statements are the death of me.

If someone criticizes me I typically go into interrogation mode to determine what is the specific reason for the criticism. I want to either deny it with proof, or admit the flaw and work on correcting it.
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby 290384 » Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:51 pm

Sorn wrote:I spoke about this topic with my mom recently, and she informed me that I must debate everything, and that when I am criticized I immediately lash back with retort.

She used the example "I could tell you its a hot day, and you would shoot back that it is not and that im wrong"

I then explained to her that im not retorting, but simply adding literal commentary to her statement about my position on the matter. The implication that I am ignoring her statement, or denying it is because my literal statement, when taken into context, might be interpreted as rejection. However, since the statement is intended literally, I would say that I did not mean to cause any rejection, just that my AS made me appear to do so.

I said that I would not reject, just say "Nah, its more like a nice warm 73 degree's." My literal statements are the death of me.

If someone criticizes me I typically go into interrogation mode to determine what is the specific reason for the criticism. I want to either deny it with proof, or admit the flaw and work on correcting it.


Haha, ditto! Ditto to all in one way or another, though. I still withdraw from people, though. One criticism means they don't want me around is how my logic tends to work. I also feel like I get criticised more than others, but then I probably do because I find it so difficult to conform to others' ideas of correct behaviour and conduct.
What uniform can I wear to hide my heavy heart?

It is too heavy. It will always show.
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby Sorn » Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:20 am

290384 wrote:
Sorn wrote:I spoke about this topic with my mom recently, and she informed me that I must debate everything, and that when I am criticized I immediately lash back with retort.

She used the example "I could tell you its a hot day, and you would shoot back that it is not and that im wrong"

I then explained to her that im not retorting, but simply adding literal commentary to her statement about my position on the matter. The implication that I am ignoring her statement, or denying it is because my literal statement, when taken into context, might be interpreted as rejection. However, since the statement is intended literally, I would say that I did not mean to cause any rejection, just that my AS made me appear to do so.

I said that I would not reject, just say "Nah, its more like a nice warm 73 degree's." My literal statements are the death of me.

If someone criticizes me I typically go into interrogation mode to determine what is the specific reason for the criticism. I want to either deny it with proof, or admit the flaw and work on correcting it.


Haha, ditto! Ditto to all in one way or another, though. I still withdraw from people, though. One criticism means they don't want me around is how my logic tends to work. I also feel like I get criticised more than others, but then I probably do because I find it so difficult to conform to others' ideas of correct behaviour and conduct.


Its difficult at best.

I started asking all my close friends if im commonly inappropriate and they all denied that I am. Or rather, they said that I have oddball remarks but thats just me and they understand.

The problem lies within those who do NOT understand our persona's tendancies to be off mark. Without knowing who we are or that we are often joking or making literal statements (though, they are offended or interpret the statement as 'off', be it rude, egocentric, pretentious, etc) they presume that we are just douche bags :)

Thats why I've always isolated myself within new peer groups. Its not until i feel comfortable that people know me that I start to be myself. Add alcohol into the mix early and my personality comes out without filters and I have a *very high* probability of offending someones values :P

And no, I do not conform. I shape myself into whatever fits the bill. Sometimes its me, and sometimes its 'limited me' but its always me, not what others want me to be.
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby 13243546 » Thu Jun 24, 2010 5:32 am

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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby shock_the_monkey » Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:09 am

i think it depends on how the criticism is delivered and what it is. i hate people that nit-pick. i let a lot of suff go but others are constantly on my back about trivia. i've found that what makes it worse is if i ever try to explain myself or get them to understand my perspective. invariably i find that they're just not interested in me or my feelings, just in their own and their manipulation of me to make them feel better themselves. this will invariably leave me in a foul mood. if i know i'm going down that road i now stop myself before it's too late. however, if i feel said criticism is going well beyond the pale, i will give 'appropriate' feedback, in the usually vein hope that they'll back off in future. they seldom do, however. if on the other hand, i just can't suss out whether there's any validity to their criticism, i'll lock up for hours, if not days, in a tight loop analysing every possible aspect. sometimes i have to admit to myself that whatever the basis of the criticis was it was just outside of my conscious awareness. but mostly, i find that it's just down to intollerance or manipulation. i'm pretty good at living by my own standards. so, if people call me rude, for example, and i've done nothing to deliberately insult or humiliate them, that's their problem in my book and i don't thank them for trying to make it mine instead. and i'll just add that those that criticise me unreasonably or excessively, i do consider to be insincere, so even if they do subsequently compliment me i consider this to just be part of the same manipulation and dismiss it out of hand. i have a problem with being complimented anyway. it generally makes me cringe. though i confess, i am partial to sincere compliments - who isn't!!!
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby phoe » Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:06 am

13243546 wrote:Are any of you others here extremely sensitive to criticism?

Sadly, yes - and as an aspie i'm prone to misunderstanding something not meant to be a criticism as a personal insult :-}
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Re: Sensitivity to criticism

Postby phoenixknight » Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:01 am

topaz wrote:
13243546 wrote:Are any of you others here extremely sensitive to criticism?


When I was a child I was horrendous! No one could say anything even remotely negative about me and that lasted well into my twenties. I was so insecure about everything.

I am stronger now but I can 'withdraw' from people who criticise me and find reasons to dislike them (and so justify my withdrawal) fairly easily.


I have fairly recently learnt how to separate myself from someone saying critical things about me and not take it as something to brood over and get depressed about. I can now look at where they are coming from in what they are saying and why they are acting and saying these things and it makes me feel better because they have flaws too.

Some form of criticism though I am still learning about. An interesting example occurred yesterday, I had used all the milk and my mum could not then have a cup of tea. So in a fairly annoyed tone she said "thanks for using all the tea...". To me, that sounds like a sort of telling off or "criticism", but after talking about it a little, she said that it was just part of how people talk or "banter/social etiquette". thinking on it a little more, I realise how that makes sense now, but it certainly confused me the first time I heard it!
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