Our partner




I hate this syndrome

Asperger's Syndrome message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: TDT

I hate this syndrome

Postby Andrew12341 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:31 am

I really do! I really hate being an Aspie! I hate what I have become due to me having this syndrome! I HATE how I'm some weird, clumsy kid who can't socialize with other people! I hate it! Socializing should be something I know how to do naturally, but its NOT and it really angers me! I hate how I can't do what I want because of my fear of socializing! I'm a fast runner, but you don't see me on the track team! I hate how when the weekend comes, I can't call up a group of friends and chill with them! Thanks to my social phobia, I have no friends! I spend all my time on the internet! AIN'T THAT GREAT! I hate it being aspie and I wish someone would invent a cure for this syndrome! I want to see the world like a normal person would! I want to be able to walk up to a person and say something to them like it's no big deal! Yes I know the positives that Asperger have, but I don't care, I want to be normal! I want to be able to socialize with people! I want friends that I know in real life!
Andrew12341
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:13 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Postby Sarcastica » Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:27 am

You have every right to express that feeling Andrew. Human beings are social animals and therefore the drive to participate in this behaviour is natural. Have to agree with you, Aspergers Syndrome takes away that automatic behaviour to interact and be aware of social etiquette.

I see many Aspies hiding behind that wall of, "I have a High IQ, I do not like socialising, prefer my own company etc". Rejection and anxiety sets us up for a somewhat distressing/disappointing life at times. Like you I would take the cure pill in a flash, but I have to accept reality.

Definitely a shame funding for a cure(Unlikely) is not better targetted at Adults struggliing with the AS. Where we could attend funded therapy classes to learn social skills, executive functioning techniques and coping strategies for our anxiety.

Just to let you know you are not alone in your despair, but try to look at therapy sessions with an AS specialist Therapist. I realise money is always an issue, but that all I can suggest. I engage a psychologist fortnightly and an Occupational Therapist weekly to improve my quality of life.
Sarcastica
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 355
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:10 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby snail_clippers » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:34 pm

I just want my childhood back. Or at least I wish I had the support I needed growing up, instead of being left in a very dark place for 22 years. So I feel ya man, it's a very very scary experience.

I have not been diagnosed btw.
snail_clippers
Consumer 3
Consumer 3
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 5:01 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby Chucky » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:26 pm

If you hav this much hatred for it, Andrew, then change things in your life. You're obviously in an angry mood right now, so, use this rage to spur yourself to change. You won't be any happier until this happens. Okay - I lie - happiness might never fully reach you, but you can certainly learn to tolerate life a little better than you are right now.
Chucky
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 28158
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:04 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby PhoenixTrue » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:32 pm

dude, everyone should read 'The Art Of Loving' and several other books by Erich Fromm.

Every 'condition' is to me simply a ramification of this lack of love that Humanity overall lacks (not just people labelled with this 'conditions')
the only condition which is real is the inabilty to know how to love.

this is true as well for politicians, people who are married, people with kids, people who are apparently succesful, drug addicts, etc.

the onyl section in this psychforums who may have nothing to do with the inabilty to love. is the grief and loss forum.

i'm just someone who´s afraid.
It's all about LOVE and Indignation.
PhoenixTrue
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:16 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby Andrew12341 » Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:12 pm

Chucky wrote:If you hav this much hatred for it, Andrew, then change things in your life. You're obviously in an angry mood right now, so, use this rage to spur yourself to change. You won't be any happier until this happens. Okay - I lie - happiness might never fully reach you, but you can certainly learn to tolerate life a little better than you are right now.


Sorry, but this post annoyed me in a sense. I'm sorry buddy, but getting over Aspergers isn't that easy. If it was, I wouldn't be here complaining about it. I want to change and I want to believe that someday, I can overcome this, but right now, I'm way too afraid to talk to other people, to speak up for myself. I actually used to have a very easy time socializing with my peers, but I always would act really weird, so I was seen as the class weirdo and didn't really fit in. When I entered middle school, I wanted to change all that, but in my attempt to not act "weird", I ended up becoming afraid to socialize with other people. Socializing isn't a natural thing for me, it's a tough challenge unfortunately. I want to change, but I need some help. I would truthfully like to find a program that could help me overcome my shyness, but I haven't. Thanks to my "shyness", I have pretty much lost my middle school and high school years. They're gone for good and I can't do anything about that.
Andrew12341
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:13 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby Chucky » Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:33 am

Hi,

I understand how what I said could have annoyed you. I hate when people say stuff like that too when I'm feeling miserable. They make it seem so easy, when it never is. I was just trying to give you some confidence though - that's all. I lost my entire youth due to Asperger's, and i'm still missing out on things that a 'normal' 26 year old guy would do. I've stopped caring too much about it though and instead find happiness in other things.

... ...I can't admit to being truly happy though, because i think about suicide every day.

By the way, programme's for adults with Asperger's are virtually non-existant. It's totally geared towards treating children with it.
Chucky
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 28158
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:04 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I hate this syndrome

Postby shock_the_monkey » Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:48 pm

Andrew12341 wrote:Yes I know the positives that Asperger have, but I don't care, I want to be normal! I want to be able to socialize with people! I want friends that I know in real life!

all skills are just a matter of practice, including social skills. you need to find structured environments in which to interact with people. clubs are ideal because they centre on an activity or interest. once you feel comfortable with that you can be more adventurous. but it really is just a matter of having the courage to give it a go and then stick at it too.
User avatar
shock_the_monkey
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2827
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:36 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I hate this syndrome

Postby 420star » Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:00 am

Yeah I went through a phase like that where I had socialphobia and never left the house, just spent all day online, or playing WoW, most of my youth.

I eventually got over the social anxiety as i got older, but I still have anhedonia, think about suicide every day, and feel like a 'fake' person.

So hopefully you'll just grow out of it.
420star
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:52 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: I hate this syndrome

Postby onlysleep » Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:44 am

I often feel bitter about it too. Personally, If I could take a pill to get rid of my AS, I wouldn't take it, because without AS, I wouldn't be 'me' (even though I might be a lot happier). I used to hang around 'Aspies for Freedom' some time ago, but I found the pride there just a little silly, although I suppose it's an understandable reaction to being in a world that you can't fit into. Having Asperger's has really screwed me up, having no friends, having no real social interaction growing up... I feel like I'm stuck in childhood, that I never got to grow up. I honestly feel like I'm Michael Jackson, I want to be a boy forever, and be untainted by the filthiness of adulthood. I usually think "Ha! I'm better than all you slavish, corrupted grown ups! You go out and have 'fun' drinking until you vomit, I'm having a much better time staying at home playing Mario on my Wii!" and other times I'll feel like you and just wish I could experience normality... Because I am human, and I feel the need for social interaction, but it's just so hard, so scary and painful.
onlysleep
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 193
Joined: Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:26 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:15 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Asperger's Syndrome Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: CpaAbs, Google [Bot] and 61 guests