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Obsession, but not completion because it's pointless?...

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Obsession, but not completion because it's pointless?...

Postby danonearth » Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:40 am

Hi, this is a bit hard to explain... I have an obsession with guitar and learning to play it (for years) but then I also get a 'self-defeating' feeling of 'what's the point' as it will not be 'useful' - everything I do has to be 'useful'. So, despite the obsession, I never seem to be able to 'mentally' follow-through as there doesn't seem to be any 'logical' point to it (realistically, I am never going to be that good, or famous, or maybe even ever perform, so in a sense, it is technically "a big waste of time" expect for my being obsessed with it) - so, my question is:

Does anyone else feel that everything they do has to have a 'purpose' (even if it is only apparent to us) and they find it very hard to do something that is 'frivolous' or pointless?

Thanks!
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Re: Obsession, but not completion because it's pointless?...

Postby shock_the_monkey » Tue Jun 20, 2017 8:17 am

basically, yes. i used to be excellent at all forms of art and craft. i gave them all up because i felt they didn't form the basis of a credible career - something that, looking back, i deeply regret now. i've thought about trying to rekindle this interest, however, i keep thinking to myself that it's all too long ago now and i'd never be any good at them anymore. and then there's the whole 'what value could they possibly be to my life' thing. i find it hard to 'value' things for their pleasure. and i realised a long time ago that what motivated me was seeking approval, which i also no longer 'value'. so, it's hard. if only i could 'value' myself and my own desires. but i never seem to be able to. the same thing happened with my poetry. i've got a collection of poems about a certain theme that i'd like to publish, but i just can't persuade myself that they're worthwhile or that anyone else would really appreciate them. anyone that does say how good my poems are i just put down to them being kind to me, rather than that they genuinely mean it. i guess it's difficult to see one's self in a positive light if one lacks self-esteem. and that, to me, is the root of this issue. if i had more self-esteem, i'd follow my heart rather than letting my head talk me out of it all the time.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Obsession, but not completion because it's pointless?...

Postby AprilR » Tue Jun 20, 2017 8:36 pm

Yes, i'm exactly like that too! I used to take art courses but stopped taking them after i decided not to study art in university since it doesn't have a purpose anymore.. I have also started to take an interest in classical music and piano but it seems pointless to learn at my age :?
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Re: Obsession, but not completion because it's pointless?...

Postby Capulet » Sat Jul 29, 2017 10:11 pm

AprilR wrote:I have also started to take an interest in classical music and piano but it seems pointless to learn at my age :?


I've been meaning to learn piano for 16 years now. lol I'm not joking- I started a little as a teenager and then stopped and genuinely keep meaning to dive in and learn it for real. This entire time. But I haven't yet lol. I think its just that I'm able to see it realistically, and even though I'm a musical person and knowing how to play the piano will be very satisfying I know that theres nothing satisfying at all about the early learning part. Thats why I keep putting it off. So basically I'll start learning if you start learning. Ready, GO!
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