by guy44242 » Thu Aug 25, 2016 5:53 am
Wow do I have an interesting response to this one.
I guess really to start off I view them as lesser than me. As a bunch of sheep following a common model and clumping together like dust in space. I see myself as superior and I often think that I alone can "see" the world for what it is, not clouded by the poor emotional blocks of others. However, this is just my mind being delusional, of course I often swap in and out of this belief, usually depending on the way people treat me. I am not a narcissist, as I don't manipulate and hurt others, and I am capable of controlling my own view of myself to a degree. However, I am extremely sensitive and any criticism or insult from neurotypicals will send me into hours of deep mental healing which quite frankly, I can't bear most of the time.
Now to the negative side of things: I feel misunderstood and alone, and I also feel kind of insecure as well because I feel like I am not able to create a solid ego around myself, and around others I feel like a body of blood and incapable incompetence and it's horrible.
Now to the neutral: I just view people as machines really, I sometimes am extremely lonely, but other times I can somewhat relate to people. It is extremely difficult, and I sometimes go to far, but when conformity is needed I am able to exercise it to a small degree and actually fake my way though stuff.
Another thing I didn't mention is how overly careful I am. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around others and even the slightest odd look from me and they will pounce. I suffer from mild to moderate social anxiety as a result, and I feel like even the nicest comments are received negatively on their part, and for this reason I either feel like an outsider or alien with superior mental capacities surrounded by animals or a normal person amongst others with my own unique way of looking at the world, as everyone is both unique and similar to me when I am in this "mode".