Our partner

Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Asperger's Syndrome message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: TDT

Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby PasserBy » Tue Feb 13, 2007 11:14 pm

I urgently need some help and experiences:

Do males with Asperger's Syndrome have normal sexual intercourse with women, or do they prefer masturbation only and cannot climax with a real woman?

Do they exclusively go for the fantasy in their heads, or can they have normal intercourse? And when they try to have sex with real women, do they have erection problems? perhaps because real-life sex doesn't arouse them enough, only masturbation to porn?

Have you, as an "Aspie", experienced erection issues or other sexual dysfunction during actual sex with women? Do you avoid relationships or any situations leading to sex?

OK here's my story. I have Asperger's Syndrome and OCD. I was a late bloomer and didn't lose my virginity until quite late. When I try to have sex with a woman, I get extremely aroused when I undress her and fondle her body. However, the sexual act itself is kind of "alien" and I lose my erection during the first thrusts. Moreover, sometimes I get anxious in relationships whenever I feel that sex is possible.

Is this a fundamental sex/relationships issue related to my Asperger's syndrome? Or is this more of an anxiety issue that can be addressed by a psychologist?

What are your experiences with sex?
PasserBy
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 97
Joined: Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:05 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Postby PasserBy » Tue Feb 13, 2007 11:43 pm

By the way. If you have Asperger's but don't have any problems with actual sex, please post here as well, because frankly I'm scared shitless and any word of hope is important to me. thanks
PasserBy
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 97
Joined: Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:05 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby wolfe » Wed Feb 14, 2007 10:14 pm

Thanks for your reply to my post ( Any Advice for a non-AS female living with a male AS)

I have purchased the top 2 books you mentioned and have just started to read them.

I think we have intimacy problems. I'm the one that likes everything, anytime, all the time. I gave my porn away when I moved in because he doesn't watch it.
Thanks again!
wolfe
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 2:04 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 8:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby oldsalt19 » Tue Feb 20, 2007 9:41 pm

Passerby,
Perhaps much of your difficulty lies in the fact that many of the symptoms of Aspergers concern difficulty in relating to other people. Perhaps if you are uncomfortable with others generally, you will also be uncomfortable with a sex partner.
oldsalt19
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 9:02 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby meinsla » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:04 am

I'm no doctor but psychology is a hobby of mine. For some men where sex or intimacy is extremely nerve racking, the guy will lose his erection during or just before intercourse. This is not an uncommon problem for virgin males engaging in sex the first time. Normally once he's overcome his nervousness, he's fine. Unfortunately this is a much bigger problem for many Aspies. Although I'm not advocating it, alcohol helps stem my anxiety quite a bit.
meinsla
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 11:43 am
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby Chucky » Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:52 pm

PasserBy wrote:... ...the sexual act itself is kind of "alien" and I lose my erection during the first thrusts. Moreover, sometimes I get anxious in relationships whenever I feel that sex is possible.


What you have desribed above is exactly what happened to me the last time I tried it. I am 24, male, and I have Asperger's & OCD too. Sex doesn't appeal to me too much anymore - I'm more interested in just finding a partner because I hate the thought of being alone (even though I need a lot of alone time too).


Masturbation? - I view it as a chore but I do it once every two days. I feel that I have to masturbate in a pathetic attempt to raise my testosterone levels which I fear are very low. While viewing it as a chore, I have actually perfected the art of it for I am capable of having multiple orgasms - Yes, this is possible even if you are male. I managed to train my muscles to do this by reading tantric sex books.


Kevin
Chucky
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 28158
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:04 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby Sc@tterBr@in_UK » Mon Mar 12, 2007 8:59 pm

I'd say it highly depends on the individual. Some Aspies have a very low sex drive (mine is very low, and I am not really bothered by that either), others a very high one. I have never specifically heard of an Aspie male having problems performing with "real women" as such, if they are close enough to someone to go that step.
28 y.o. female with HFA and "attentional dysfunction"

"While not clumsy, she does walk into things" [My neurological report...]
Sc@tterBr@in_UK
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Fri Aug 13, 2004 10:49 am
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby Sc@tterBr@in_UK » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:03 pm

Chucky wrote:Masturbation? - I view it as a chore but I do it once every two days. I feel that I have to masturbate in a pathetic attempt to raise my testosterone levels which I fear are very low. While viewing it as a chore, I have actually perfected the art of it for I am capable of having multiple orgasms - Yes, this is possible even if you are male. I managed to train my muscles to do this by reading tantric sex books.

If it is such a chore, why do you keep doing it? Are your hormone levels low for a medical reason (hehe you can have my excess testosterone :? ) and if yes isn't there a supplement or something you can take? It just seems like a waste of time although I guess as far as rituals are concerned it sounds like a fairly enjoyable one ;)
28 y.o. female with HFA and "attentional dysfunction"

"While not clumsy, she does walk into things" [My neurological report...]
Sc@tterBr@in_UK
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Fri Aug 13, 2004 10:49 am
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby meinsla » Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:37 am

Sc@tterBr@in_UK wrote:If it is such a chore, why do you keep doing it?


Men have to do it. It's gotta come out one way or another and if not, God'll remove it for you.

It's sometimes a chore for me as well - it's not a want so much as it is a need, at times.
meinsla
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 11:43 am
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Postby localboy » Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:16 am

Its only a chore if you consider it a chore.
Its not something I need to do, and I am male. If I dont bother doing it, then I just dont bother doing it. But if I dont do it for a while then I might feel the urge to, but feelings of lust are positive and good feelings as far as I'm concerned.

And about the erection going soft: It has happened to me too, as it has happened to most men out there. I know its harder to do than to say, but try not to worry too much about it. As I said, all men have experienced problems with this, but not too many are too eager when it comes to spreading the news about it.
It will work out mate.
localboy
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 4:39 am
Local time: Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Asperger's Syndrome Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 112 guests

cron