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Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

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Re: Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby Sc@tterBr@in_UK » Tue Mar 13, 2007 6:34 am

meinsla wrote:
Sc@tterBr@in_UK wrote:If it is such a chore, why do you keep doing it?


Men have to do it. It's gotta come out one way or another and if not, God'll remove it for you.

It's sometimes a chore for me as well - it's not a want so much as it is a need, at times.

That makes more sense, yeah I can understand that.

"God will remove it for you" - scary prospect for the literal-minded!!! :shock:
28 y.o. female with HFA and "attentional dysfunction"

"While not clumsy, she does walk into things" [My neurological report...]
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Re: Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby drifting » Tue Mar 13, 2007 8:38 am

PasserBy wrote:Is this a fundamental sex/relationships issue related to my Asperger's syndrome? Or is this more of an anxiety issue that can be addressed by a psychologist?


I think it's more an anxiety issue, nothing fundamental. You might talk with a psych about it, but in the end you'll want to experience it with your partner, so that would be the one to talk with. Become comfortable with her and your sexuality, follow your passion and stop thinking.
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Postby PasserBy » Tue Mar 13, 2007 6:16 pm

meinsla wrote:I'Although I'm not advocating it, alcohol helps stem my anxiety quite a bit.


Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately, alcohol itself may cause erection or orgasm difficulties, if too much is consumed.
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Postby Vayne » Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:41 pm

I think I have a reasonable average sex drive for an 18 year old guy, the only difference is that I have aspergers and haven't talked to a girl outside the family in years...

I don't even know if I'll ever have sex (dear God I hope I do =D) but if I do I know that I'd be absolutely terrified, I'm not sure if that'd affect my performance, I guess it would.

About masterbation, to me it's really something I have to do, I know if I go more than afew days without it, I'd end up with a surprise in the morning when I wake up (if you know what I mean).
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Postby Chucky » Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:23 pm

Hey,


Sorry, I should have replied earlier but I have been busy. Yes, I view it as a chore, but I still feel that I should do it. Masturbation (in males) sends a rush of testosterone through the body. It is at this point that I should mention that low levels of testosterone has been linked to depression. I am almost certain that I have low levels of testosterone


On a not-too-similar note, through Tantric sex techniques I can manage to have multiple orgams each and every time I masturbate. The actually overall orgasm keeps increasing in length also. The rush of testosterone is quite powerful.


Kevin.
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Postby Wise Guy » Fri Oct 26, 2007 1:29 pm

Prefer? I can't flirt and in a way I therefore seems to prefer mastrubation but that not because I want to.

However because I can't flirt is misundestud as wanting.

Of course I would want sex but it's impossible for me to process the stress when a woman is available.

Nothing is as difficult to me as trying to percieve or accept consent even if the woman is seducing me.

I always reject women but not because I want to.

Of course I would want sex. How could you believe that just because I don't make approaches and can't show how I feel
for the girls I know , I would not want to have sex?
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Postby plicketycat » Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:29 pm

First off, I'm a female aspie so you can ignore everything I say on this topic if it's "No Girls Allowed".

I prefer sex with a partner to masturbation alone. But I do both. Now I know there is a lot less physical function issues with females than males (like erectile dysfunction) when it comes to just doing it... but having intercourse when my body isn't cooperating by prepping the vaginal muscles and providing lubrication can be downright painful. I don't have this problem often, but if I'm stressed or overstimulated by something else it can happen. So I guess that this might also be happening with you guys losing your erections. I mean sexual intercourse is (can be) a pretty intense emotion and interpersonal experience and we Aspie's aren't known for being comfortable with intense interpersonal experiences. I enjoy sex, but some cuddling/foreplay things really annoy me - like caressing my face, or stroking my hair -- ick!

The worse problem for me is difficulty orgasming. Ok, most women complain about this and I think it's largely due to physiology (the good bits aren't exactly in the best location for stimulation). But in my case, I really have to concentrate during sex in order to orgasm. It's like I have to piece all the stimulated parts together in the right pattern to make it happen. I also almost never orgasm with intercourse... it almost always has to be oral or manual manipulation (or both). I think this is common for many women, and something you guys should remember if you start agonizing over your flagging member.

With that said... there is more to sexual relations with a partner than just the intercourse bit. If you're turned on right up to the point of penetration, DON'T PENETRATE! Explore the wonders and joys of oral sex, manual manipulation and mutual masturbation. Hell, even trying a different position (like not facing your partner and getting overstimulated by their face/eyes) can help tons.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. --- Andre Gide

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. --- Oscar Wilde
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Postby Chucky » Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:35 pm

Good post plicketycat; and I agree with all you have said. In my case, intercourse is never the goal when I am with a girl. I prefer doing all the other stuff and - to be honest - I couldn't care less about intercourse at times. (I do love stroking hair too - sorry!)
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Postby plicketycat » Tue Oct 30, 2007 6:33 am

Hey Kev - I think I don't enjoy the hair stroking because I normally have short hair, so stroking puts someone's hand way too close to my face. I can tolerate and sometimes enjoy it if someone I really trust is stroking the back of my head.

And I agree with you, intercourse should never be the "goal" in an intimate relationship... intimacy should be, in whatever form that works for both parties.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. --- Andre Gide

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. --- Oscar Wilde
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Re: Asperger and Sex/Relationships/Masturbation

Postby leaf22 » Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:06 am

PasserBy wrote:I urgently need some help and experiences:

Do males with Asperger's Syndrome have normal sexual intercourse with women, or do they prefer masturbation only and cannot climax with a real woman?

Do they exclusively go for the fantasy in their heads, or can they have normal intercourse? And when they try to have sex with real women, do they have erection problems? perhaps because real-life sex doesn't arouse them enough, only masturbation to porn?

Have you, as an "Aspie", experienced erection issues or other sexual dysfunction during actual sex with women? Do you avoid relationships or any situations leading to sex?

OK here's my story. I have Asperger's Syndrome and OCD. I was a late bloomer and didn't lose my virginity until quite late. When I try to have sex with a woman, I get extremely aroused when I undress her and fondle her body. However, the sexual act itself is kind of "alien" and I lose my erection during the first thrusts. Moreover, sometimes I get anxious in relationships whenever I feel that sex is possible.

Is this a fundamental sex/relationships issue related to my Asperger's syndrome? Or is this more of an anxiety issue that can be addressed by a psychologist?

What are your experiences with sex?

hey mate, im knew to this board, or any boards like it.. i havent been formally diagnosed with aspergers, but have many of the same symptoms. visiting this board has been really eye opening.. just seeing that there are so many people like me. anyway, im 25, male, and have always struggled with sex... ive been in denial about it for a long time, kinda thought it was nerves, just needed to find the right women, it would work itself out eventually, or whatever, but im facing up to it now. ive been to a gp, a uroligist, ect, had all the tests, and it seems like physically everything is fine, so im left to assume its a mental thing. i love affection, i get along with women fine.. i dunno.. i struggle to get an erection, and when i do i lose it in the first few thrusts.. its a huge, huge, source of pain and embarresment to so if anyone has any advice for me, it would be hugely appreciated. thanks, peace
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