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Confused about my son's assessment

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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:37 am

there's a saying that goes along the lines of: give me a child until he's 5 and i'll show you the man.

children are very impressionable. it really does matter what experiences they have during their formative years.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby madjoe » Sun Nov 23, 2014 1:24 pm

so where in my thinking how that works did i go wrong?
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sun Nov 23, 2014 4:59 pm

madjoe wrote:ppl aren't made of glass they bonce back
and all change is hard

... we differentiate between adults and children precisely because in this respect they are very different. it's difficult to love a child too much. children need all the love they can get. that's what gives them their resilience to life's setbacks as adults.

madjoe wrote:i'm a cold and if that thot me one thing is feeling don't matter as much as ppl try to make it out

... thought and feeling are equally important. both have strengths and weaknesses. thought is deductive. feeling is instinctive. being deductive is good for solving problems. being instinctive allows for responses to situations without having to be deductive. these instinctive responses have been honed over millions of years of evolution. they're there because they embed basic survival skills.

madjoe wrote:when a kid falls and brooses it's knee than what?
it cries and a couple of minutes later it's playing again
that action is learned and trained
the brain is a muscle

... we're not necessarily talking here about some sort of random misfortune. parents need to be best friends to their child. that way, if the child is in need, the child won't hesitate to seek their help. if parents betray a child's trust, they break that contract. and unnecessarily removing the source of a child's comfort would indeed be such a betrayal.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby madjoe » Sun Nov 23, 2014 5:56 pm

i don't have experiance with parenting
but i know humans
parents need to support kids but they are never friends (pehaps that's not what you ment but just how you exprssed it?)
are you undersetemating the kid or am i overestemating him?
is that the question?
if it is ther's 2 ways to anwer that trial and error or knowing the person
someone elses experiances and not key here (unless you can get a lage sample and apply the scientific method)
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby Riccola » Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:30 pm

I agree with Shock_the_monkey. When a child is young they need as much love and parental support as they get. There is nothing wrong with this, it makes the child develop a strong sense of well being which allows him or her to cope with stress and learn from mistakes. Loved children make loving respectable adults.
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby seabreezeblue » Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:04 pm

I think that with this child.. atm madjoe, you're overestimating him..

The op already tried removing his ninja turtles and had really bad results (they didn't explain in detail but i think we can safely assume a complete panic attack meltdown)..


He would indeed bounce back but he'd keep a little bit of himself back and wouldn't trust quite the same again.. Ideally, children need as few bad memories as possible, a bit of a challenge will strengthen them but a betrayal will simply wound.


Parents need to be many things for their children to develop healthily.. not a friend all the time but a friend some of the time.
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby madjoe » Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:07 pm

so wait untill he's gown up to deal with his problems?
intersting idea
(i'm not talking about abusing him ofc i'm talking about helping him)
every decent therapy is hard
what was the age of the son?
Last edited by madjoe on Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby seabreezeblue » Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:11 pm

^^

:wink:

Not at all, but do it gently..

I don't view an attachment to an object/toy as an issue.. do you?

In a world where things change all the time, where you can't even rely on people to be the same from one moment to the the next.. where noises overwhelm you and lights hurt your eyes..
An aspie needs something to ground them.. it makes them feel slightly more secure.
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby madjoe » Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:16 pm

if it holds you back
and the age ofc is imortend
a totler sucking his thumb no problem
and 18year old doing the same thing creapy (my stange addiction on tv)
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Re: Confused about my son's assessment

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sun Nov 23, 2014 10:23 pm

i still rock as a self-comforting activity. and i'm in my 50s now. am i some sort of freak because of that? some people obviously might think so. but i wouldn't give much for their opinion! my parents tried to stop me rocking. they were far more concerned about how it reflected on them than how it affected me. and they unwittingly took away one of my few coping mechanisms for many years. consequently, i was far more stressed than i needed to be. i know better now. so, i ignore such self-centred and ignorant opinions.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
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Posts: 4974
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:36 pm
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 10:46 pm
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