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Why are there so many people hate aspies?

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Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby Lavinski » Sat Sep 28, 2013 2:45 am

I recently found out that I am diagnosed with asperger syndrome. I asked a considerable number of people to know if they hate aspies, so I made an excuse that one of my friends has that syndrome because I was embarrassed of myself. Several of people said that they despite aspies and their stupid behaviors. Why do people have to be so prejudiced against them?
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sat Sep 28, 2013 5:22 am

if you can identify a characteristic in someone, you'll be able to find someone else who doesn't like it. the classic example is, of course, red heads. how can anyone dislike someone else just based on their hair colour??? but they do!!! candidly, i wasn't aware aspies were any more disliked than any other minority group.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby mdagli1 » Sat Sep 28, 2013 7:45 am

Lavinski wrote:I asked a considerable number of people to know if they hate aspies

Don't plant seeds of doubt like that.
Measuring a potential false negative will produce biased results.

Ask them what they "think" (cognitive) or "feel" (emotional) about AS, as a neutral enquiry.
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby AprilR » Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:01 pm

I never thought about it, but i think it's more that they're inherently disturbed by it (as well as other disability and illnesses) then outright hating, i think it's mostly because it makes them depressed to know there are still incurable conditions like that in the world.
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby PaulHubert » Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:54 pm

I'm surprised your friends even know about it; my first guess would be that people tend to feel negatively and/or confused by disorders they aren't familiar with, especially a very complex, ambiguous and invisible disorder. Second guess, they are familiar of the prevalence of self-diagnosis among teenagers, and from these impressions your friends label aspergers the "help me, I'm socially awkward and I love to stay at home and play video games" disease. Third, they heard the aspergers speculations from the Newtown massacre and associate the syndrome it with deviant tendencies.

I feel pretty confident about my first reason, the second two are more speculative and were recurring themes during pending-diagnosis web-surfing phase: I posed a question about aspergers anonymity to yahooanswers, one reply I got was I was diagnosed with Aspergers, and it's #######4 if you ask me. I mean, autism, really? Whom do they think they're kidding? ASD is not a real disorder; it's an excuse for social outcasts to fall back on when they fail at life. If you're shy, get over it. If you have trouble making friends, change yourself. Trust me, it's possible. For God's sake....

A general observation I have for people in general: reaching a social life without road bumps and keeping it that way is not realistic, it's hard, and when we (speaking to NT and AS) see conflict and misunderstanding between ourselves and friends, and see less of it among our less intimate friends, we assume "it's easier for them, why can't this be easy for me like it is for them?" For the most part, that's an inaccurate heuristic, the context in which we see casual friends is not a sample size that paints the whole picture of their "smooth" social life. So now an aspie approaches a NT and says, "I have aspergers, which makes my social life difficult"..to which their reaction is, "how convenient, a disease for not having a normal social life...my social life is hard and I still managed to make friends." A life where people just get along with other willy nilly, in my estimation, is a common but false illusion that people assume alludes only themselves; so I don't think social disorders are particularly sympathy invoking disorders. The "excuse disease" accusation is particularly irritating to me, in that people assume we believe social problems are unique to us, they aren't, it's a matter of the degree of difficulty, and the nature of the difficulty. Although the frustrating reality would really fall on aspies who tend to make excuses if that were the case.
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby PaulHubert » Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:11 pm

Actually I will reduce the theory to some people in society...close-minded, black and white, unhealthy thinking haters...are we misunderstood misunderstood, probably, but hated, not with common occurrence I don't think so; but I wouldn't call close minded people in this society a small minority group either.
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby madjoe » Sun Sep 29, 2013 6:07 am

because they work for microsoft and and are filthy rich?
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby Justme47 » Wed Oct 02, 2013 7:35 pm

It's not about "hate"...it's about maxo FRUSTRATION after not being able to communicate with them. If most people need a basic "fellow-feeling" to even talk to anyone else, and this lack of empathy is the main defect with Aspergers, than the frustration is understandable.

Then there is the sense of exasperation ie: HOW can someone be able to have a life, and do all the surface things that everyone does to get through life...and yet they act so uncaring, so emotionally devoid, so blase about all the petty and major areas of angst, joy, sorrow, astonishment, poignancy and all the other dozens of human feelings that Aspies apparently don't need or welcome....well then it's perfectly understandable.

I live with someone like this and I go bonkers every day.....every time I try to communicate ideas or implications or feelings....or even need some basic human involvement...and can never ever get it.
And then I find out the roomie couldn't care less...doesn't need to "work on" these issues, doesn't seem to care about me in any way that matters... but instead will criticize me for my basic human needs with that...and well...my anger can border on hatred, but never reaches that level.

Hatred is a very overused word anyway. People get hurt and get angry, but real hatred is something foreign to most people, we just don't know that. I wish we did. It might help everyone.

I wish there was a way to help Aspies behave in a more human way, and I "hate" the way no one seems to be there when I myself feel so alone with this stuff and nobody seems to understand..or care. Even people who work closely with Aspies!!.
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby mdagli1 » Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:24 pm

Honestly, I've done some experimentation of social phase adjusting.

AS's can ether move a little bit towards NT expectation and meet halfway
(bonding time but you must wait 3x longer for it to happen which is problematic)
Or
AS's can exploit patterns instead and be autonomous towards NT's (distancing)
Or
AS's can say nothing (neutral)

However, if AS's become corrupted by NT's, then it's a completely different problem.
AS's would be more likely become trapped with that corruption and requires significant more work to correct. AS's basic needs are the last think on their mind if there are other more dominant forces at work to which they are preoccupied with, and they reflect that with their expressed words. Convincing them to relearn on the other hand is heavily dependant on choice which is quite a finicky issue as is.

Cognitive empathy and emotional empathy is the most common sticking point for most engagements between AS's and NT's as they are both priorities differently.
Last edited by mdagli1 on Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Why are there so many people hate aspies?

Postby slugger » Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:27 pm

Lavinski wrote:Several of people said that they despite aspies and their stupid behaviors. Why do people have to be so prejudiced against them?


This surprises me. Can you give some reference as to how you asked them, and/or how they might have come to that odd opinion? I haven't mentioned aspergers to a lot of people but when it has come up (just as a topic, not that I have it), most people I know either have never even heard of it or else they've heard the word but know nothing or very little about it.


Justme47 wrote:And then I find out the roomie couldn't care less...doesn't need to "work on" these issues, doesn't seem to care about me in any way that matters... but instead will criticize me for my basic human needs with that...and well...my anger can border on hatred, but never reaches that level.

Hmmm, this is not necessarily typical of an "aspie". Not "seeming" like they care can be typical, but actually not caring, and acting like they thing they don't need to work on anything, and being critical, those sorts of thing are more a personality issue.
Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid. ~Albert Einstein

It is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. ~Ghandi
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