Real vs Fake. Warning: This thread could create controversy

Demon wrote: My interest is in murder, not serial killers and I certainly do not idolize psychopaths. I already suspect I'm a secondary psychopath. I have nothing to gain from idolizing others.

Sure. :­P

ajr8 wrote:They must have been assuming your homicidal urges were emotional in nature, are they? Mindfulness is a therapy technique used for emotional problems I believe, I could be wrong though.

Yes, they are emotional in nature if you consider the fact that sexual tension and boredom often leads to frustration and thus, aggression.

I think mine used to be sadistic in nature, now they've come back but are now paranoid in nature.

@ Demon and ajr8.

I'm going to assume that you both enjoyed killing animals when you were children. When/if you did, was it usually out of frustration,anger, boredom or a combination of all of them. When I did it was because I would just get an urge to do it, and felt a sense of satisfaction once I had. The urges used to come out of the blue and didn't really only happen if I was angry or frustrated or bored, it just seemed random. When I look back at it now, I think it was to do with the enjoyment I felt from having absolute control in that situation, and the sadistic side of things just fed the control aspect. Is this similar with yourselves?

Demon wrote:No. It has nothing to do with affection. It has more to do with just relieving all that negative energy (ie; aggression). The homicidal urges themselves are related to power/control issues.

Ah, okay.

Surely it doesn't sound that dramatic.

I was thinking of past things you have written and tied then neatly into this scenario. It is still that dramatic to me, but I did not picture you eating a person....now I did, kinda funny.

If you mean it's not relieving the aggression, it does relieve it to a degree, but not entirely. The urges always return eventually.

Yes, this is what I meant, thank you.

I've seen psychologists in the past to try and figure out how better to deal with the urges, but all they could really do is offer this mindfulness and meditation crap, which I just can't get into.

My advice to this issue would not help you, so I just won't go there. And meditation, really?

-- Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:38 am --

ajr8 wrote:I think mine used to be sadistic in nature, now they've come back but are now paranoid in nature.

Lol!

When I did that as a kid it was at random times too, I guess when I had the opportunity to, and I remember it was mostly out of morbid curiosity, maybe there was a sadistic element involved, but I mostly wanted to kill the animal for some unknown reason, I hardly ever remember feeling angry while doing it, it's hard for me even now to give an explanation why I would do things like that. The most I can come up with is I was curious what killing something would be like.

I'm a control freak, so control has always been part of it. Plus, I've always had an interest in watching things die. There's just something about it that fascinates me. I killed some animals out of anger though due to low frustration tolerance. There were others I killed where I didn't feel any emotion at all. I just did it because I wanted to.

ajr8 wrote:When I did that as a kid it was at random times too, I guess when I had the opportunity to, and I remember it was mostly out of morbid curiosity, maybe there was a sadistic element involved, but I mostly wanted to kill the animal for some unknown reason, I hardly ever remember feeling angry while doing it, it's hard for me even now to give an explanation why I would do things like that. The most I can come up with is I was curious what killing something would be like.

It was pretty much curiosity for me to, but I enjoyed it while I was doing it to, like you said, it"s hard to explain.

I never got any enjoyment out of killing animals. Usually, it was just a means to an end, either out of anger or because I just wanted to get rid of it. That changed when I started focusing on humans.

Demon wrote:I'm a control freak, so control has always been part of it. Plus, I've always had an interest in watching things die. There's just something about it that fascinates me. I killed some animals out of anger though due to low frustration tolerance. There were others I killed where I didn't feel any emotion at all. I just did it because I wanted to.

I think I understand what you mean, it"s like if something was pissing you off, your low tolerance for frustration would get the better of you and you would get angry and kill it for a purpose, while other times it was merely for fun?