justonemoreperson wrote:Crying in one I have real difficulty detecting. I often confuse it with smiling as it often has the same effect on the mouth. In addition, when she's stuffed up with a cold it's easy to think she's crying as she's sniffing.
However, when it is clear that she's crying over something it's an indication that she needs something and I usually push to find out what the problem is and find a way to fix the issue. The crying itself has no reaction in me; in fact, I usually get a little frustrated that she decided to cry as she knows I find that difficult to identify.
The cold thing is difficult to detect. In one of my courses, a woman was blowing her nose, and she seemed upset, so I asked her if she was crying, and she said it was a cold. But it looked like she was upset, which confused me.
If you have identified she is crying, and you try to fix it, isn't that some sort of love in its self? I had no idea what to do when the guy I'm seeing was crying. Part of me wanted to laugh, because it looked ridiculous, and he had snot everywhere, so it was disgusting as well, but another part of me wanted to punch him and say "snap out of it! Focus on my problems, I have no time for yours". That's the difference I guess..
MrKap wrote:It really depends. Certain loves, especially after significant development are indeed "heart-breaking". I understand the seeing themselves in someone else, and that's typically when reliance on the other person develops. Even if it's for trivial things rather than some sort of marriage.
Getting your heart broken, how can someone explain that? There is rejection pain which can be experienced before any relationship develops.
Then there are love withdrawls. Those are gut wrenchingly painful. That's probably more to do with a well developed relationship where there is reliance or lack of independence, not entirely sure.
The manipulation aspect, yeah, I am more of a willingly giver than a taker. Always have been, but if someone gives to you absolutely then pulls out, it can be disruptive, or I've found that to be the case, even if it was taken for granted.
I agree. I experience rejection without the feeling of love, it's an emotion anyone can feel in any circumstance. Heartbreak and love withdrawals, I don't understand at all. I believe it's mainly loss and self centered. People are grieving for the loss of someone in their life, they're grieving for the loss of losing a routine, something familiar, not the actual person.
With the "giver not a taker" comment above, how can you be like that? How can you give and not receive? What does that do for you?