falling in love

justonemoreperson wrote:However, when it is clear that she's crying over something it's an indication that she needs something and I usually push to find out what the problem is and find a way to fix the issue. The crying itself has no reaction in me; in fact, I usually get a little frustrated that she decided to cry as she knows I find that difficult to identify.

If you're capable of crying, deliberately put yourself in a situation that makes you really mad and frustrated, then try crying for a cathartic outlet. I used to be very irritable about crying people, but since I realised it was a good fast method for catharsis when digging up problematic feelings that haven't been processed yet, I'm no longer judgemental in the way I was. Being able to relate better can help if you're trying to fix an issue for another person.

Silent Moth wrote:

By the way, I'm considering meeting Silent Moth when I go to the US. I'm sure that little submissive slut won't mind getting to know me.

That sounds nice. Maybe we can have tea and cookies.

I'll take you somewhere and we'll have us a nice little picnic. Tea and cookies included.

katana wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:However, when it is clear that she's crying over something it's an indication that she needs something and I usually push to find out what the problem is and find a way to fix the issue. The crying itself has no reaction in me; in fact, I usually get a little frustrated that she decided to cry as she knows I find that difficult to identify.

If you're capable of crying, deliberately put yourself in a situation that makes you really mad and frustrated, then try crying for a cathartic outlet. I used to be very irritable about crying people, but since I realised it was a good fast method for catharsis when digging up problematic feelings that haven't been processed yet, I'm no longer judgemental in the way I was. Being able to relate better can help if you're trying to fix an issue for another person.

Pointless comment.

justonemoreperson wrote:

katana wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:However, when it is clear that she's crying over something it's an indication that she needs something and I usually push to find out what the problem is and find a way to fix the issue. The crying itself has no reaction in me; in fact, I usually get a little frustrated that she decided to cry as she knows I find that difficult to identify.

If you're capable of crying, deliberately put yourself in a situation that makes you really mad and frustrated, then try crying for a cathartic outlet. I used to be very irritable about crying people, but since I realised it was a good fast method for catharsis when digging up problematic feelings that haven't been processed yet, I'm no longer judgemental in the way I was. Being able to relate better can help if you're trying to fix an issue for another person.

Pointless comment.

So ignore it...

Silent Moth wrote:Maybe because the feelings are actually mutual. Maybe because I knew what I needed to know before it got to that point, and maybe because some things that are unthinkable to some people feels just right to others. Does it make a little more sense now? Either way, he treats me well and has always been there for me. All is good.

Not really. I still not know why he hurts you or what you mean by the feelings being "mutual." He mutually screams and cries in pain? Is this a BDSM thing?

katana wrote:
So ignore it...

I usually do. I find that most of your posts are countless paragraphs of uninspired waffle.

However, this post was directed at me and relatively short; I had no idea how useless it would be until I read it.

Do you see my dilemma?

justonemoreperson wrote:Crying in one I have real difficulty detecting. I often confuse it with smiling as it often has the same effect on the mouth. In addition, when she's stuffed up with a cold it's easy to think she's crying as she's sniffing.

However, when it is clear that she's crying over something it's an indication that she needs something and I usually push to find out what the problem is and find a way to fix the issue. The crying itself has no reaction in me; in fact, I usually get a little frustrated that she decided to cry as she knows I find that difficult to identify.

The cold thing is difficult to detect. In one of my courses, a woman was blowing her nose, and she seemed upset, so I asked her if she was crying, and she said it was a cold. But it looked like she was upset, which confused me.

If you have identified she is crying, and you try to fix it, isn't that some sort of love in its self? I had no idea what to do when the guy I'm seeing was crying. Part of me wanted to laugh, because it looked ridiculous, and he had snot everywhere, so it was disgusting as well, but another part of me wanted to punch him and say "snap out of it! Focus on my problems, I have no time for yours". That's the difference I guess..

MrKap wrote:It really depends. Certain loves, especially after significant development are indeed "heart-breaking". I understand the seeing themselves in someone else, and that's typically when reliance on the other person develops. Even if it's for trivial things rather than some sort of marriage.

Getting your heart broken, how can someone explain that? There is rejection pain which can be experienced before any relationship develops.

Then there are love withdrawls. Those are gut wrenchingly painful. That's probably more to do with a well developed relationship where there is reliance or lack of independence, not entirely sure.

The manipulation aspect, yeah, I am more of a willingly giver than a taker. Always have been, but if someone gives to you absolutely then pulls out, it can be disruptive, or I've found that to be the case, even if it was taken for granted.

I agree. I experience rejection without the feeling of love, it's an emotion anyone can feel in any circumstance. Heartbreak and love withdrawals, I don't understand at all. I believe it's mainly loss and self centered. People are grieving for the loss of someone in their life, they're grieving for the loss of losing a routine, something familiar, not the actual person.

With the "giver not a taker" comment above, how can you be like that? How can you give and not receive? What does that do for you?

Helle wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:Crying in one I have real difficulty detecting. I often confuse it with smiling as it often has the same effect on the mouth. In addition, when she's stuffed up with a cold it's easy to think she's crying as she's sniffing.

However, when it is clear that she's crying over something it's an indication that she needs something and I usually push to find out what the problem is and find a way to fix the issue. The crying itself has no reaction in me; in fact, I usually get a little frustrated that she decided to cry as she knows I find that difficult to identify.

The cold thing is difficult to detect. In one of my courses, a woman was blowing her nose, and she seemed upset, so I asked her if she was crying, and she said it was a cold. But it looked like she was upset, which confused me.

If you have identified she is crying, and you try to fix it, isn't that some sort of love in its self? I had no idea what to do when the guy I'm seeing was crying. Part of me wanted to laugh, because it looked ridiculous, and he had snot everywhere, so it was disgusting as well, but another part of me wanted to punch him and say "snap out of it! Focus on my problems, I have no time for yours". That's the difference I guess..

MrKap wrote:It really depends. Certain loves, especially after significant development are indeed "heart-breaking". I understand the seeing themselves in someone else, and that's typically when reliance on the other person develops. Even if it's for trivial things rather than some sort of marriage.

Getting your heart broken, how can someone explain that? There is rejection pain which can be experienced before any relationship develops.

Then there are love withdrawls. Those are gut wrenchingly painful. That's probably more to do with a well developed relationship where there is reliance or lack of independence, not entirely sure.

The manipulation aspect, yeah, I am more of a willingly giver than a taker. Always have been, but if someone gives to you absolutely then pulls out, it can be disruptive, or I've found that to be the case, even if it was taken for granted.

I agree. I experience rejection without the feeling of love, it's an emotion anyone can feel in any circumstance. Heartbreak and love withdrawals, I don't understand at all. I believe it's mainly loss and self centered. People are grieving for the loss of someone in their life, they're grieving for the loss of losing a routine, something familiar, not the actual person.

With the "giver not a taker" comment above, how can you be like that? How can you give and not receive? What does that do for you?

By any chance are you an ex opiate addict?

Apparently love withdrawl uses the same or similar neural pathways... Totally addictive and totally susceptable to withdrawl.

Never done opiates to know.

Either that or you've just got no soul.

Greatem wrote:

MrKap wrote:Either that or you've just got no soul.

How do you define someone with a soul?
What are the differences between a person with a soul and a person without a soul?

I have my own ideas about that, but i wonder what are yours?

Probably has something to do with being dissociated with the senses. If you have sense, you probably have soul.

I might consider wisdom a core part of soul, as it would contribute significantly to the tone of the soul, for a lack of a better term.

Add precision or fluidity and it might be an indication of a large amount of passion, which is probably a good measure of the volume of a soul.

Does that help?


There are frequencies, volumes, and melodies, and I guess tones, timbres, ect...

How do you categorize them all and apply it to a soul? Probably would take forever.