Being Myself vs. Gaining Others Trust

Hello..

First off, i have not been diagnosed with ASPD. Although, i have a major empathy problem, and play by the rules in plain sight while contradicting everything i show in public when out of the public's eyes. This i have been doing for as long as i can remember. I value my reputation a lot, but i am starting to slip up more frequently now that i am on my own in college.

Anyway, I have been seeing a new therapist at the university for 2 months now, and she recommend i get a diagnosis and see a private, masters education level therapist. It really pisses me off that over these 2 months, she hasn't done $#%^. Literally, the only thing she did was have me fill out emotion logs to help me start trying to understand my own emotions. Besides that, she just listens to my introspection for 50 minutes, and then reiterates what i told her.

With that being said, being myself (stoic, uninterested, comical at the wrong times, self centered) vs. gaining trust (reading their emotions and mimicking, effort consuming, but ultimately upping my credibility with society) is one of my biggest ideas that i ponder. My bullsh!t therapist told me it will take a while for me to figure this one out, so i figure i would throw it toward you all to possible kick-start my thought process.

I guess my question is, how can i be true to my legitimate lack of emotions while still gaining the trust of people who i need? (mostly women, or people with authority)

Will i be flipping this switch my whole life?

Thanks in advanced..

Why do you need to be true to your lack of emotion?

If you're only gaining the trust of others in order to manipulate them, then fake emotion where necessary. If the person you're trying to gain the trust of is someone you want to be open and honest with, then be honest and tell them your situation regarding your emotions or lack there of. If they can't handle the truth, that's their problem.

What are you actually worried about?

If your biggest obstacle is your lack of emotion then you know what they say - fake it till you make it.

What do you expect from a free service offered by a college

Interesting thread relating to this: http://www.psychforums.com/post875122.html



The reference to the mask, A personality you display to others (You know your real emotions inside) Different people require to you to change your mask.

You should wait till your diagnosed before talking about faking your emotions. Some people force traits of disorders onto themselves because they want to be different. They actually become crazy.

Demon wrote:Why do you need to be true to your lack of emotion?

If you're only gaining the trust of others in order to manipulate them, then fake emotion where necessary. If the person you're trying to gain the trust of is someone you want to be open and honest with, then be honest and tell them your situation regarding your emotions or lack there of. If they can't handle the truth, that's their problem.

What are you actually worried about?

That all makes sense..i just wish i could pick one and stick with it.

I am worried that people will see the contradictions. I am worried that the higher standard i am held to from appeasing people, the harder it will be to put on the act and get away with it. I am worried that I will slip up and be revealed.

My most uncomfortable situations are when i am in a group setting with two different friends who i have a different script for

TTBcole wrote:What do you expect from a free service offered by a college

Interesting thread relating to this: http://www.psychforums.com/post875122.html



The reference to the mask, A personality you display to others (You know your real emotions inside) Different people require to you to change your mask.

You should wait till your diagnosed before talking about faking your emotions. Some people force traits of disorders onto themselves because they want to be different. They actually become crazy.

In terms of mask wearing, i feel as though i try to put on a mask similar to who i am talking to, and after conversing i seem to carry on with that persona until i run into my next "victim"

This is true..i do not want to force it..but i know i have a lack of emotion. At home with my parents, i'm cold as ice and always has been. I'm a completely different person around different people. Also, i can not relate to people who have emotion. I am emotionally intelligent and know exactly what they want to hear, but sometimes that dosn't seem to be enough for them.

Why so worried? What will be will be, if you fukc up.. move somewhere else and start again... trial and error.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:My most uncomfortable situations are when i am in a group setting with two different friends who i have a different script for

If you're going to lie then you need to stick to the same script for everyone. Seems kinda foolish to me to tell one friend one thing and the other friend a different story. Why would you tell them different stories to begin with?

Tempest80 wrote:Why so worried? What will be will be, if you fukc up.. move somewhere else and start again... trial and error.

It's not uncommon for ASPDs to fear being exposed, but Tempest is right, Trial and Error.

Demon wrote:

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:My most uncomfortable situations are when i am in a group setting with two different friends who i have a different script for

If you're going to lie then you need to stick to the same script for everyone. Seems kinda foolish to me to tell one friend one thing and the other friend a different story. Why would you tell them different stories to begin with?

I just want to portray a character that they can individually relate to i guess. I want them to trust me and i want them to know i can be everything for them.

I wouldn't say i am necessarily lying, just showing a different set of emotions

-- Sun Jul 22, 2012 10:39 pm --

Tempest80 wrote:Why so worried? What will be will be, if you fukc up.. move somewhere else and start again... trial and error.

I want everyone to think good of me..like i have so much potential to be everything for anyone..

I would go to great lengths to gain peoples trust and good opinion of, but once i have it and i know i am secure in their mind, i will start testing their boundaries.

If i ###$ up i ###$ up but i know that i can show everyone something that they like in me. I have a point of view (not necessarily that i believe) for everyone, i feel like. Also, everyone sees me as so nice and innocent that i can't afford to take that risk yet until i do something drastic (which i assume will be sooner than later, unless therapy actually helps)

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:I want everyone to think good of me

Why everyone? Why not just focus on those who are of potential use to you, and acting friendly enough but indifferent towards others. Pick and choose who potentially has the most to offer you.

Most of us are not such monsters that it's a huge effort day to day to behave in a civil manner towards the people we encounter. That should be second nature by this point in your life. Most of us learn this as children when we notice we're 'different' and learn to mimic these behaviors.

Only go the extra mile... as I said for people you have a use for.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:I want everyone to think good of me..like i have so much potential to be everything for anyone..

There's your problem right there. You care too much what other people think of you. Would it really hurt you that much if some people decided they didn't like you at all?

You can't be expected to please everyone or anyone really for that matter. All this effort of trying to please other people so that your image won't be tainted is going to cause you a lot of problems one day and what's worse is you already know this, yet you continue with the behavior.