Who are you if you hadn't got ASPD?

Makky wrote:

i don't understand most of that. Song lyrics are often too much like poetry and poetry is completely lost on me. It reads like whining about parents.

It isn't a song. It's a poem. And yeah it is whining about parents. He's always whining.

i see. what is it that you blame your parents for?

i think the one thing that makes being high functioning the most challenging is inability to be strongly imprinted by bad experiences and a temperamental relative indifference to potential bad exps. in the future. this made punishment as a child ineffectual. i don't care as much about what happens as most others. i did not select a dismissive attitude and apathetic belief system then adapt my behavior to fit it. i am naturally dismissive

i''m not whining. it's not all bad to be unreactive, to watch others scrambling like scalded dogs while i remain relatively tranquil . i'm like a buddhist monk.

i see. what is it that you blame your parents for?

i think the one thing that makes being high functioning the most challenging is inability to be strongly imprinted by bad experiences and a temperamental relative indifference to potential bad exps. in the future. this made punishment as a child ineffectual. i don't care as much about what happens as most others. i did not select a dismissive attitude and apathetic belief system then adapt my behavior to fit it. i am naturally dismissive

I often find my mother using her emotions to be manipulative. She would cry around other people telling them how hard it all is on her just to get sympathy. I now get really angry when every time I do something bad she tells me how it affects her, when in reality I just don't care.

I've often learned from these emotions she brings up and copy it to my own benefit. Seems to work a charm.

Makky wrote:
I often find my mother using her emotions to be manipulative. She would cry around other people telling them how hard it all is on her just to get sympathy. I now get really angry when every time I do something bad she tells me how it affects her, when in reality I just don't care.

I've often learned from these emotions she brings up and copy it to my own benefit. Seems to work a charm.

why is that a complaint? i do not follow.

My mother is workholic too,
she worked 7 days a week from early morning until late night through most of her life,
no vacation(may be two-three days in a year when she visits her mom, but even then she never rests, works on something) and was sick 1 day max for me to remember,

plus she does all the housework perfectly, much more harder than normal housewives,
she has to clean and wash everything very frequently,
there is no one like her who does housework like that hard
she is SO proud of herself.

if I am sick she gets so irritated and beats me and says
'you are f*cking weak! you are so irritating and shut the f*ck up, don't moan! you SHOULDN'T annoy me. DON'T CRY, it's not you got a cancer!'
and she gives me some physical labor task while swearing at me all the day...
and beat me sporadically


HPD develops to those ones who got inordinate amount of attention since when they were under 2 cuz they were exceptionally pretty babies.
they are addicted to inordinate amount of attention/admiration unconsciously,
so when they grow up they can't be satisfied with normal amount of attention. and become Histrionic personaltiy disordered.

those who saw me when I was baby always tells me even now,

'you were unbelievably pretty compared to other babies since you were born,
normal new born babies are kind of ugly, frowning and wrinkled face
but you were very pretty since you were just born that everyone who saw you exclaimed.
you got attenion and admiration everywhere you go when you were small, you were prettiest baby ppl ever saw'

and after i grew up little more, i was kind of overweight... my mom fed me a lot especially in the late night
if I refused to eat she poured food on my head. 'eat! eat!' and hit my teeth with spoon,
poured milk on my head... and beat...

lol and everyone said 'what happened to you???? why you overweight now?!'
o.o why am I overweight now?!!?
and they say 'why you not pretty anymore?'
and i want to say 'i was abused?!'

yyy, what are you talking about? 97% of babies are interchangeable. the' variation between them is minuscule compared with older humans. there are no pretty babies. there are only average ones and handful of homely creatures

my father called my mother and i weak whenever we were sick. i made sure to throw it back at him whenever he was sick. i can handle it.

you are almost 20, no? perhaps reconsider letting your mother abuse you.

yes i thought so too
that every babies are alike and no big difference
but adults who saw me keep emphasize that seriously that i was different and

HPD has a unique position among the personality disorders in that it is the only personality disorder explicitly connected to a patient's physical appearance. Researchers have found that HPD appears primarily in men and women with above-average physical appearances.


I think that only pretty babies become hpd(getting lot of admiration about appearance under age 2)
resulted in that fact.
so it may mean, there's some difference

my mom abuse me less than before but she still has too much control
cuz she is the one who gives me money
i can't resist

i am very dependent on her.
by the way i have something to ask to you little boy lost

though no worries

HPDs are incredibly popular and I have been really unbelievably popular too anyway.

DESPITE ALL THE PROBLEMS, THIS PERSON IS ALWAYS IN DEMAND, AND MORE POPULAR THAN I COULD EVER HOPE TO BE. - Emotional Vampires, about HPD

even though overweight, asians admired me incredibly, fine fine.

haha.

yyy wrote:though no worries

HPDs are incredibly popular and I have been really unbelievably popular too anyway.

DESPITE ALL THE PROBLEMS, THIS PERSON IS ALWAYS IN DEMAND, AND MORE POPULAR THAN I COULD EVER HOPE TO BE. - Emotional Vampires, about HPD

even though overweight, asians admired me incredibly, fine fine.

haha.

Delusional disorder forum is that way -->

oh i might really get interest in that forum.

overweight to asian is completely no overweight to westerners...

you lucky &*@#^