psychopaths and their children

by **Metastatic** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:17 pm

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:As a child or an adult? As a recovered anorectic who was deprived of sleep as an unborn fetus (and probably as an infant as well), I know all too well the effects of regular starvation and sleep deprivation on a developing human being.

I didn't get drunk for the first time till was was at least 8 and had a couple swigs of wine. I was a lightweight. I didn't know where to get amphetamines yet.

How did lack of sleep- damage you? i was an extraordinarily ill-tempered infant and I slept far less that other infants, but I was physically healthy. I've stayed healthy and became permanently calm as soon as I stopped my constant screaming.

I'd try to stay engaged enough to pay attention to the child as a newborn. Once it stabilizes a bit, a couple of days without food is not going to have any effect.

How is resentment a function of speech? Does this also apply to late talkers and left-brain stroke sufferers?

I didn't say it is a function of speech.. A child who can't even talk lacks the ability to understand a concept as complex as resentment. I did not suggest that anyone who cannot talk is incapable of experiencing it.

Demon wrote:
Metastatic wrote:I'd try to stay engaged enough to pay attention to the child as a newborn. Once it stabilizes a bit, a couple of days without food is not going to have any effect.

Ha! That kid is going to drive you up the wall with it's crying if you don't feed when it needs to be fed. I guarantee it.

This is a hypothetical scenario. If a disastrous run of bad luck hit me and I was left alone with my infant child, i'd ship it off to my mother. She is extremely well-suited to the job and I lack every quality that is conducive to being a "good" parent. Well, I am not a pedophile, so there's that in my favor. I cannot think of anything else.

0-8 years old is when they're at their worst. Once I can begin talking to them normally, they're more tolerable. I will not (and cannot) change my use of language or alter my expression of affect to appeal to a young child. i talk to them like they're my age. I use words like "paragon," "soporific," and "endogenous" when I'm talking to an 8 year old.

by **Twinkling_Butterfly** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:15 pm

Metastatic wrote:How did lack of sleep- damage you? i was an extraordinarily ill-tempered infant and I slept far less that other infants, but I was physically healthy. I've stayed healthy and became permanently calm as soon as I stopped my constant screaming.

I was consumed with anxiety from before birth, and though it was a late birth, some parts of me still hadn't finished developing (a couple of extremities I can see, and probably my lungs and parts of my brain, judging from my breathing/crying patterns and what my doctor said later about my behavior). I can't say for certain how much of that was due to lack of rest vs. other influences (for comparison, my brother's gestation was similar except for the sleep factor, and he was born earlier and had no long-lasting developmental problems), but most development happens while the body is at rest,...probably because construction is easier when the structure you're working on isn't moving. Restlessness and anxiety also consume a lot of energy that could be put to better use.

A child who can't even talk lacks the ability to understand a concept as complex as resentment.

But why would she have to understand it in order to experience it?

by **Metastatic** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:48 pm

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:I was consumed with anxiety from before birth, and though it was a late birth, some parts of me still hadn't finished developing (a couple of extremities I can see, and probably my lungs and parts of my brain, judging from my breathing/crying patterns and what my doctor said later about my behavior). I can't say for certain how much of that was due to lack of rest vs. other influences (for comparison, my brother's gestation was similar except for the sleep factor, and he was born earlier and had no long-lasting developmental problems), but most development happens while the body is at rest,...probably because construction is easier when the structure you're working on isn't moving. Restlessness and anxiety also consume a lot of energy that could be put to better use.

I haven't the slightest idea what was wrong with me back then. i started shrieking without any aversive stimulus and I would not stop. Picking me up, trying to distract me, and talking to me all had no impact. i'd stop as suddenly as I started for no apparent reason. Everyone who spent time with me at that stage recalls the impossibility quieting me and the seeming randomness of my behavior The doctor could not explain but i was thriving physically so they waited it out. I certainly did not suffer any health problems, cognitive impairment, or negative affect as a result of my little wailing phase.

But why would she have to understand it in order to experience it?

I am going to have to get back to you because I'm too tired. I was thinking that resent was hostility for someone who fails to fulfill responsibilities to you, but I looked it up and the definition was not quite what i was expecting. This will all make sense to me after I've rested.

by **Psyquest** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:45 pm

Metastatic wrote:0-8 years old is when they're at their worst. Once I can begin talking to them normally, they're more tolerable. I will not (and cannot) change my use of language or alter my expression of affect to appeal to a young child. i talk to them like they're my age. I use words like "paragon," "soporific," and "endogenous" when I'm talking to an 8 year old.

It is a bit of a myth that small children cannot learn these type of words. They learn whatever they are exposed to. My mother was narcissistic so it was important for her to showcase her intelligence through words such as these. I understood these lofty sounding words when I was little but they seemed pretentious for me to say as a kid so I never used them.

by **Metastatic** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:23 pm

Psyquest wrote:It is a bit of a myth that small children cannot learn these type of words. They learn whatever they are exposed to. My mother was narcissistic so it was important for her to showcase her intelligence through words such as these. I understood these lofty sounding words when I was little but they seemed pretentious for me to say as a kid so I never used them.

it would be odd if a child used those words with his peers.

I don't recall trying to increase my vocabulary.

i can control the words i use, but since i cannot imagine acting like a child to entertain a child (or for any reason), there's no point. my detached commentary is all that i offer them. take it or leave it.

i would be laughably pathetic at pretending to enjoy an empathic play session with one of them. it seems to me that even sociable and normal children suck at reading your nonverbal cues. regardless of whether you're giving off the vibe that you'd like them to die soon or you are displaying genuine love, they don't adjust their behavior or give any hint that they are aware. they may be so lame that they wouldn't see through my blatant insincerity.

if i have to get an idiot to do something, i will use basic words and speak in short sentences. that can be monitored while i'm speaking without giving it much attention

by **AliceK** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:48 pm

Reading this makes me think of one of the reasons it's good to be female: I will always have the power to choose abortion over giving birth.

by **Tempest88** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:56 pm

Demon wrote:
Tempest80 wrote:What motivated you to spend more time with her? Was it her telling you how she felt? Or her being old enough to not be annoying like little kids are? lol

I had started spending more time with her before she even told me how she felt, so that had nothing to do with it. She's a teenager and more mature now. We have more common interests these days.

That makes sense. They're probably more fun when they're older.

-- Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:59 am --

Metastatic wrote:I'm curious if you ever neglected to feed your children for a few days when they were too young to complain. Perhaps you were busy or just didn't make it to the store to restock their food supply. This is unquestionably something that I would do if I had to raise children alone. I've done it to pets and I'd do it to children. I don't think it's child abuse. It is harmless. I've subjected myself to far more grueling periods of combined sleep deprivation + starvation. I was curious what it would be like to stay awake for a week, so I did it. I didn't eat because I was using drugs to make sure I stayed up. If I'd do that to myself for curiosity's sake it follows that it's very minor from my perspective.

I had a sense of deja vu when I typed this post, so I may have asked about it before or perhaps I mentioned that I would do this to my children.

Children and never too young to complain. My Children have always had their basic needs met... good food/nutrition, well dressed/clean clothes, nice home and tons of material possessions. It's only their emotional needs that don't get met very well.

-- Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:06 am --

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote: Besides, mammals can still cry without their vocal cords

Not very strongly. I've had dogs debarked... the noise they can still make is very minimal and not annoying.

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:.and contract a lot of lung infections.

Fine... take the wind out of my sails :cry:

Metastatic wrote:. i talk to them like they're my age. I use words like "paragon," "soporific," and "endogenous" when I'm talking to an 8 year old.

That's how my 9 year old talks and has always talked. She prefers conversation with adults. If you don't baby talk to them and talk to them like they're kind of people... or at least talk to them as if they're at your level, that's what they learn. I find parents who baby talk and babble at their Children amusing.

by **Barracuda** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 4:56 am

Metastatic wrote:Performing in front of a crowd was always easy. i was happy to march to the front of the group and read in a monotone voice without bothering to look up. Performing well was a bit more challenging

I'm only monotonic if I have to improvise. If I have practiced loads I can sound very enthusiastic and inspiring.

Tempest80 wrote:Exactly. I don't enjoy doing things for them or with them.

Why have kids then? I got myself sterilized in my early 20's, it was the natural thing to do. If I want to experiment with my training methods I will adopt a test subject or 2. Don't have to give birth, no stretch marks, morning sickness etc.

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:Even wild baby mammals cry out if an adult isn't there when they need one. It's only natural since, as others have said, babies are too helpless to communicate any other way or attend their own needs.

What wild mammals whinge when the mother is not there? A baby deer will lie still and stay quiet when its mother is gone, wolf pups will also stay quiet till their mother comes back, wild piglets will hide etc. Plus right now can't think of one mammal baby that is quite as loud and makes a noise as revolting as the one that comes out of a human baby.

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