Do people have power over you?

hey, no problem Clever.... sorry for overreacting if it seemed like that on your end.

crystal_r wrote:hey, no problem Clever.... sorry for overreacting if it seemed like that on your end.

Not a problem

oh and I am happy for you and your current prosperity Clever. I too was not always doing well. I grew up in poverty like I said before and only became of privileged status once my dad's business became successful.

I've lived both worlds, so I can appreciate your previous situation somewhat too...despite my being in it when I was younger than you maybe and for not as long...

I saw that and I haven't gone through exactly what you have been through to be abused is truly a horrible thing and it changes you for sure. I've lived more of a "gang" life in comparison and not so much abused but I have gone through a whole hell of alot and I am glad that I am even alive (and free) lol.
But like alot of "us" who have been through hell, I hope you are stronger for it in the end.

It is foolish to believe that absolutely no one has some kind of power over me. We live in a society, and we naturally give up freedoms for greater security. If a cop were to flash his lights behind you, you would pull over would you not? If so than you have yielded some kind of authority to the police officer. My boss of course has power over me. At an at will state, he could technically fire me for any reason and there is little I could do about it.. The only way to remove his power would be to make yourself invaluable, and in mostly any job there are many that could replace me.

Emotional power is a different story. Most people achieve emotional fufillment through other people validating their existence, be it the boyfriend, friends or family members... I tend to derive my emotional fufillment not on what other people think of me, but by how I measure up to my own standards, and trust me.. I can be a very harsh critic at times. But I am one of the rare types of people that don't really care how others judge me, they don't know my circumstances, they don't have the authority to judge unless they have actually lived my life.

So, I think there are two types of "power" people can have over you. The first is mostly unavoidable, it is people's direct ability to influence your life. If I take a gun, and point it at your head, I have the power to choose if you live or die, but YOU have the power to choose how you will react emotionally to me. So in effect, emotional power is within your control, but actual physical power is something that we will always have to yield to someone in a higher position. Even the president is accountable for his actions, which is why there is an impeachment process.

I agree with everything you said reticulator. these are all really good points! And I like how you broke it down into two types of power. you CAN free yourself from emotional power and I envy you for having achieved this great thing! I am ashamed to admit I depend very much on other people for my validation, but I'm working on changing this! it's a journey.

hmm interesting
we live in a society, so of course there is people who are more powerful & in control, like authority government etc.
But in my life, in my own scope.., my own affairs, my own work, my relationship..NONE.