Main point: Is one born with sociopathy or does one grow into it? If both is possible, then is there a fundamental difference between the two?
Context: So about half a year ago, I started to see a therapist after having an interesting turn of events that left me in catatonia for a day or so. Since it apparently was caused by the hilarious level of stress I was going through, I figured it'd be the healthy idea to reevaluate the way I was living. One thing that came to my mind was the mood swings I've been having and professional opinion sounded like a good idea.
Long story short, apparently it turns out that I'm dealing with bipolar II and "Personality Disorder Otherwise Unspecified with Antisocial and Borderline Traits". Though the former was what was troubling me, the latter attracted my attention. It was something I haven't really thought about before besides the times when I took Internet personality quizzes or couldn't stop smiling at my godson's funeral. Anyways, I've been observing myself since the diagnosis and noticed some interesting things.
So far, it appears that my hypomanic phases correspond with more-or-less sociopathic mindset. I simply feel wholesome--as if there's nothing that could concern me in the world. I certainly enjoy the assurance that I don't need to mingle with the mediocrity surrounding me and would do anything to keep myself this way--but I am also aware that, sooner or later, this will wear out and I will fall back into the depressive phase. In those, sure, I feel #######5. But objectively speaking, I'm a much warmer and considerate human being when I feel #######5. I'd rather have more #######5 me's around me than happy me's. Happy me's a God-damned narcissistic bastard. Anyways.
When I've talked to my therapist about this, she theorized that perhaps I have synthesized a sociopathic demeanor as a defense mechanism. Which kinda made sense--being unconcerned by others ensures that there is lesser cause for my mania to wither, not to mention overblown ego that correlates with both. But the nature of ASPD is such that it's not really something you can switch in and out of. Which is what makes me ask you guys that question.
What is the fundamental nature of sociopathy? Are "sociopathy" and "psychopathy" two different states of being? Is it a part of one's design or what?
Also: Hi I'm new.