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How do you choose your persona?

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How do you choose your persona?

Postby SweetSlumber » Sat Jul 15, 2017 8:13 pm

For those who have experience with changing masks:

Where do you find the inspiration for your new mask? Do you prefer roleplaying fictional characters, real people, or your own characters? What do you look for in a mask?

My previous mask wore off within a couple of months I think, I'm bad at being consistent. She was a cute, cheery ditzy girl, I forgot who I based her on.

Posting this in aspd/npd/bpd since I think all three use masks in their own way.
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby ElephantEyes » Sun Jul 16, 2017 3:51 am

Whatever works?
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby crystal_richardson_ » Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:37 am

many a time they are 'triggered'

otherwise, tailored to the situation as above

and other times, i simply wake up and 'am'

as if lost in a sea of self wandering

it is more accurate to say that i am always changing, but at any moment may pin it down and hold it for some time

for the record, the persona is not the false self. the false self in PDs is the self that arises out of conditioned fears of past; the habitual oversexualized behaviours of the HPD, the rigid obessive/controlling behaviors of the OCPD, etc, are all false self in response to the early fear

beneath lies the true self, submerged and arrested due to the false self's early take over of the person
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby Sixoclock0 » Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:17 am

Not choosing, I just am what I am. :) The amount of intact positive energy is uniform.
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby SweetSlumber » Sun Jul 16, 2017 12:18 pm

Maybe what I really meant was not a 'mask' as in something that you change depending on the person you talk to, but some kind of false self, complimentary self? Some sort of system that fills the gaps in your own personality. That also works when nobody is watching.

So for example, there was a time in my life when I was into Christianity. I was doing a horrible job at being Christian, but it filled some gaps in my personality - it gave me some sort of morality, beliefs etc. It was like I was more of a person than now.

It's kind of stupid that I'm looking for a new system now, after spending so much time trying to free myself from all the systems I used. But there really doesn't seem to be much to me beneath them.
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby crystal_richardson_ » Sun Jul 16, 2017 7:59 pm

such systems help with coping with life or the demand of society, previously perhaps you had the luxury of being more carefree

Oneringer offered very good advice eon personality and identity development, however it assumes from my observation that you have a self to work with

i believe your fundamental problem is that you lack a core self rooted in the early past; something you've suggested yourself

in other words, what Oneringer said more pertains to people who are moving from childhood identity to adult identity, when you do not even have much a childhood identity

it's possible to skip steps 1 and 2 and just jump to 3 (adult identity) by adopting one of these systems; and it can work very well

but because it's out of practicality alone, rather than emotional connection based in integrating and reconciling past self memories, present emotions, and future expectations the system is always prone to breaking down as your circumstances change or your moment-to-moment desires push through.

and without emotionally anchoring the identity in the past self, the demands of the present circumstances and your basic desires/impulses will win

so there a few ways to resolve this, not all of which involve full-blown therapy and serious self change or growth which can be daunting even unrealistic

you can take the pressure off your systems, which will leave them more intact, you do this by simplifying your life, reducing the number and magnitude of things you have to cope with; in other words, you can cope by making your personality more robust or you can cope by eliminating the stressors that put pressure on your personality

the problem with this approach is that the simpler you make your circumstances to reduce pressure on your systems (or lack of) the less able you are, or the less variety you'll have to satisfy the impulses that will be front and centre

and the end stage of this cycle is that you engage in impulsive behaviour again, take on more than you can handle, and end up in the hospital or something lol

which leads to the crux of this alternative (in contrast to making your personality more robust/healthy): finding something you are interested in, or which satisfies your impulses, that is singular and simple enough to fit within a simple, unpressured life

is there any such thing that you've discovered since being alive, one thing that you've never gotten bored with, one thing that could sustain you? could be anything, there is no judgement
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby crystal_richardson_ » Sun Jul 16, 2017 8:36 pm

this 'thing' is not necessarily a passion, it could be something you're addicted to, basically anything that continues to bring you enjoyment and which you are motivated to protect (in the form of satisfying the basic requirements/demands of life or your surroundings)

ideally, it's something that you can reap the rewards from, so to speak, while engaging in the rest of life. in this sense it sustains you like a drug, but i recall you saying you're anti-drug so maybe something else?

again the idea here is upplaying your impulses, which you said you have a healthy amount of so to speak, to motivate you, but doing so in a way that is directed and systematic in order to anchor a system fo sorts that will help you cope and move through life and interact with the world in a manner that entails some future orientedness (even if only the re-satisfaction of the impulses)

no lofty goals needed, just a clever reworking of the basics
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby Eight » Sun Jul 16, 2017 8:54 pm

^ have you found such a thing for yourself, Crystal, aside from drugs?

Not trying to be snotty. I'm sincerely interested.
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby SweetSlumber » Sun Jul 16, 2017 8:54 pm

I think you're right about that I lack a core self. One of the reasons might be that I have a very poor autobiographical memory. It's like I can't stop forgetting who I am :P

There's nothing in particular that I'm very passionate about. I mean, I have been passionate about things in the past, but I get bored quickly.
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Re: How do you choose your persona?

Postby crystal_richardson_ » Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:00 pm

what about impulses?

passion is usually tied to prosocial stuff; what about your selfish impulses, what interests you?

Eight wrote:^ have you found such a thing for yourself, Crystal, aside from drugs?

Not trying to be snotty. I'm sincerely interested.


sort of
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