Do you have any close, long-term friendships with people you like? Do you know if they realize that you're not a genuinely caring person?
I have been pondering my relationship with my best friend. I like him, I feel safe with him. He's never did anything that would make me feel uncertain, never been mean to me. (He was a bit angry with me at one point, but all he did was being a bit detached.)
I have a feeling that he genuinely cares about me. He respects my boundaries and is enthusiastic about even the silly things I share. He's always supportive and willing to give advice if I'm in trouble.
The thing is, although I like him and I want to stay friends with him, I don't genuinely care about him. I don't feel happy about his successes and I don't really care how he's doing. I try to act as if I am, in the past when we were more open I was trying to be very supportive, but what I'm wondering is if he can tell.
He had sucky parents too. I think there are two possibilities: he doesn't notice, or he's subconsciously attracted to people similar to his parents, emotionally unavailable. Or a third, he's also being dishonest. Or a fourth , I'm placing too much weight on emotions and not enough on loyalty.