Domestic Violence

Courtier wrote:Yeah, exes and I have been abusive. Had neighbours call the police for domestics. We never took it any further.

The most violent episodes usually start with them being unable to control their feelings and lashing out trying to get my attention. I stonewall / switch off and they want a reaction so they scream and shout and hit and bite and throw stuff and in the flurry of attacks I have enough and just throw them into the wall and make them feel small. But that's what they wanted - me to react... More recently when that's happened and I've not been in the mood I have just put them in holds on the floor until they run out of energy. In the moment sometimes I have probably gotten carried away and kind of enjoyed the feeling and gone too far but most of the time if I feel like that if they do spark something then I can channel it into sex quickly enough and use our energies in a safer way.

Have probably made a bit of a scene about them doing things when I didn't need to. Tell them it's their fault, that they did this to themselves, had it coming, made me do it, and correct behaviours that I don't want. Usually this is just intimidating with light choke and feigned anger. Emotionally pummelling them is more common for me. Guess I'm an abusive partner, even if not very often physically.