Did I handle this situation properly ?

Reaper wrote:

crystal_richardson_ wrote:@reaper

not at all.

the disparity between your behavior online versus offline has been noted many a time.

Still looking for that argument, huh.

I'm bored of you, crystal.

If you want to pick a fight with me you're gonna have to do better than that. That bullshlt has been tried on me before and it didn't work then either.

She's the energiser bunny's evil twin.

to elaborate,

i think you handled the situation well because if you just ignore or don't give the situation due attention you'll get walked all over.

or a big fat dent in your brand new car.

simply put, a lot of people push until they encounter a wall; sometimes, you have to be that wall..

and you'll probably get the support of some of your other neighbors for it, as they would doubtfully appreciate that girl chucking rocks near their car either.

Crystal - I like your "wall" analogy. I agree that those that "push" need someone to stand firm opposing their impropriety. Had I not done so, that little ignorant girl would be throwing stones the next day and a dad who enables her stupidity. Now the little girl knows what she was doing pisses people off and her dad knows I am willing to confront him and his ignorance. In essence I did what most neighbors would want to do, but fear of retaliation prevents them from doing so.

Reaper- whilst I understand your point of view, I feel avoiding conflict, for the sake of having some peace at home, is an alternative I wouldn't entertain. If I didn't yell at the girl for nearly hitting my car, invariably I would feel "violated" and would anticipate such behavior to continue, thus escalating the possibility of a damaged car.. Now it is known by the girl and dad that I will not tolerate this behavior and that I am willing to go that extra mile to have my anger known.

Lastly someone asked why my "ego was so weak". I don't believe I have a weak ego. If I had a weak ego I would submit and allow myself to be taken advantage of. I have a strong ego and as such any act of blatant impropriety towards me will not go unanswered. Admittedly I have narcissism however not of the malignant sort. It angered me that the dad didn't care about her daughters #######5 behavior. Because of that, I demanded he keep her daughter away from my house. If he can oblige said request I will know he takes me seriously. Thus far I have not seen the girl.
Yes, I understand getting police involved with a drug dealer is inviting serious conflict. Calling the police would be my last option and one that I would prefer not to use. Rather than tell the man that I know two cops, I could just tell the cops about his side operation. If he were to get raided, would require a warrant per judge, I doubt he would suspect I has anything to do with it.

toosober wrote:Reaper- whilst I understand your point of view, I feel avoiding conflict, for the sake of having some peace at home, is an alternative I wouldn't entertain. If I didn't yell at the girl for nearly hitting my car, invariably I would feel "violated" and would anticipate such behavior to continue, thus escalating the possibility of a damaged car.. Now it is known by the girl and dad that I will not tolerate this behavior and that I am willing to go that extra mile to have my anger known.

The way I see it, you're underestimating the situation. You're assuming that if you didn't yell at the girl she wouldn't comply, but you cannot know that for certain.

Children don't often think about the consequences of their actions. The girl probably wasn't even thinking that the rocks might hit someone's car before your situation arose. So, you could have just easily taken a calmer approach and she may very well have listened.

How you reacted lends a lot to your mindset and how I suspect you were raised as a child.

The way you dealt with her father was also very reactive and defensive, as though you were perceiving a threat where none existed. The father was not threatening you. He may have been angry, but that doesn't mean he's a violent man. Most parents would be angry over someone yelling at their kid. He was just concerned for his daughter. He was not out to attack you.

You believe that doing what you did intimidated them and will make them back off, but who is to say that's the case. What if all you did was escalate a situation that could have been dealt with in a calmer, more rational manner.

toosober wrote:Yes, I understand getting police involved with a drug dealer is inviting serious conflict. Calling the police would be my last option and one that I would prefer not to use. Rather than tell the black man that I know two cops, I could just tell the cops about his side operation. If he were to get raided, would require a warrant per judge, I doubt he would suspect I has anything to do with it.

Why bother saying anything at all?

You don't even know for certain he's a drug dealer, only what a neighbor told you, which may not even be true for all you know.

Why are you feeling so threatened by the man over one little altercation?

You say you weren't intimidated by him, but you're acting as though you were.

My opinion is that you shouldn't have yelled at the girl in the first place, but if you calmly explained to her father why you did then that is something done right. I understand wanting to hint at him about his possible drug deal operation to get him to go away for good, and I don't really see it as weak and manipulative, but like someone else said he could have people that will do something to you. If he gives you trouble next time I would remain calm, have a phone out, repeatedly tell him to go away or that I am calling the police.

I would never go by what a neighbor said and actually use that in your next interaction. F*ck no!
And I agree with Reaper that you sound intimidated by this man, as for starters he managed to get you to go over to him on his demand. And then he got stuck into you. Your ego has taken a bit of a pounding, which is understandable and a normal response initially. The fact is at least you enforced at the end of the interaction that there will be no issues as long as his kid quits doing it, so from here I would just wait and see what happens. You may not see his kid near your house again after you told her off.

Thus far I have not seen the girl or the dad. Perhaps from your perspective I was intimidated but I did not feel concern for my safety, I rarely ever do. They do say that anger often arises from fear. My anger stemmed from the fact that a perceived wrong was being committed against me. Would I yell at the girl again? Probably not. Would I confront the dad again if I felt it necessary ? Yes...

You don't want to fuk with drug dealers, take my word.