Non-ASPD's Questions on Boyfriend

Hey guys. I don't have ASPD, but my new boyfriend (known each other for maybe a month) - if we want to call him that - is without a doubt psychopathic. (It's worth noting that I'm manipulative, too, though not nearly as much as him. I took the Levenson Self-Report and came up with primary: 70th percentile and secondary: 86th and then 79th percentile, so I suppose I could be more umm idk what the word is...than I am. I have a few questions for you guys:

1. How do you react to a person challenging your manipulation tactics? Because when he jokes that I'm "just a slut/whore," that he should "beat/slap the $#%^ out of me," I just flip it around on him. I say that he's the whore (I mean he's slept w like 6x the number of ppl I have), or I tell him that if he tried to beat the crap out of me I would win or he would get punished (which we both know is a joke). He doesn't seem to get upset by this banter, but I'm not sure if that's only because we're still in the "idealization phase" or w/e of our relationship. Would this all piss you off?

2. Cheating... How have you guys reacted in the past to being cheated on? My (married) S.O. says I'm "cheating" on him, though we aren't exclusive. He tries to manipulate me out of seeing this other new guy, though I'm not going to stop seeing him. How have you guys felt in similar situations? It's SO tedious dealing with his monologues surrounding this topic.

3. Sex - Do you guys have any pointers about sustaining his excitement in the bedroom (or public place, etc.)? Our sex life hasn't neeearly started to die down yet (it's just getting warmed up), but we've seemingly suddenly started to move faster into more kinky things, and I don't want us to move so fast through them that there's suddenly nowhere further for us to go, causing it to become boring for him. I get worried that he'll get bored with me and then move on; however, I am objectively a lot more attractive than him, and I'm less than half his age (and TMI let him use umm...any hole), so I figure(/hope) he'll stick around for a while. Still, I don't want him to be having redundant sex because who wants that?

You guys' insight it honestly really appreciated! Thanks!

i want to pee on your face

You could always try this.

I only read the first couple of lines and skimmed through the rest, but, why do you want to keep a guy you've known for one month? If you really are young and attractive and open to anal, you should be able to get any guy you want, any moment, should your boyfriend leave you

dancegirl16 wrote:1. How do you react to a person challenging your manipulation tactics? Because when he jokes that I'm "just a slut/whore," that he should "beat/slap the $#%^ out of me," I just flip it around on him. I say that he's the whore (I mean he's slept w like 6x the number of ppl I have), or I tell him that if he tried to beat the crap out of me I would win or he would get punished (which we both know is a joke). He doesn't seem to get upset by this banter, but I'm not sure if that's only because we're still in the "idealization phase" or w/e of our relationship. Would this all piss you off?

You'd think the things he's saying would be a red flag to you, but you apparently aren't seeing that.

Why the fuk are you staying with someone who talks to you like that?

Maybe you secretly like it and wish he would treat you that way. Either that, or you're just very fuking naive.

I'd say he's well and truly past the idealization phase (if there ever was one with him). You seem to be still in it though.

2. Cheating... How have you guys reacted in the past to being cheated on? My (married) S.O. says I'm "cheating" on him, though we aren't exclusive. He tries to manipulate me out of seeing this other new guy, though I'm not going to stop seeing him. How have you guys felt in similar situations? It's SO tedious dealing with his monologues surrounding this topic.

I don't like being cheated on, but I've got no problem cheating on my partners (Yes, I know, I'm a hypocrite).

I don't mind the whole open relationship thing as long as I control it.

When I'm with someone I feel like I own them. They're my property. I don't mind them having sex with someone else if I give them permission to and I can watch, but without my permission they're just asking for trouble.

3. Sex - Do you guys have any pointers about sustaining his excitement in the bedroom (or public place, etc.)?

Yeah. Share your fantasies and create new ones with your partner, then act on them. You'll soon figure out what appeals to both of you.

Sex should be an adventure involving exploration into various avenues, including ones that take you out of your comfort zone. Try everything at least once, but don't do it all at once. Integrate it into your sexual fantasies that you share with each other and do some role-play if that makes things easier or if you simply find that kind of thing pleasurable.

You won't keep his attention, you didn't even keep my attention for 3 paragraphs. I guess get more than 3 holes might work for awhile. Not sure the backup plan on that. I can't believe you threw anal out so early, stupid.

I understand how exciting it can feel to have the attention of someone like that, especially if you consider yourself to be manipulative as well. What is it that draws you to him so intensely? Why do you want to try so hard to keep him? I think that those answers will help keep him interested more than anything. Appeal to his ego.

I'm a bit confused. You mean that you haven't told the boyfriend that you have a S.O? That sounds a bit dangerous.

Sex can always get kinkier, he might want to go further with it than you expect. There's a horror movie called Blind Beast. I hope you don't want to go that route. Ask yourself how far you'd want to go to keep him around, and again, why you want to so badly.

Well the reason I want to is because sex with him is really fun, and he always gets us nice hotel rooms and expensive meals, and flatters me and holds me all the time, and he lets me keep the extra money from putting cash on my card for hotel rooms. Plus he kind of just entertains me.

Oh and I meant he's the S.O., and he's the one who's married. He knows about the other guy, but he's always bugging me about how he thinks it's screwed up for me to be w/ someone else.

dancegirl16 wrote:Well the reason I want to is because sex with him is really fun, and he always gets us nice hotel rooms and expensive meals, and flatters me and holds me all the time, and he lets me keep the extra money from putting cash on my card for hotel rooms. Plus he kind of just entertains me.

So, calling you a slut/whore and telling you he could beat the fuk out of you is worth it, huh?

What's gonna happen if he beats the fuk out of you one day. Are you gonna stick around for the fun sex and nice hotel rooms still?