Things Sociopaths Do

1. THEY CON YOU.

Scheming, deceiving, tricking, conniving -- call it what you want, but antisocial individuals are always putting one over on somebody to get whatever it is they are after. Many are polished con artists, highly skilled at deceiving people. They get into character and play the part, skillfully duping others into believing that they really are the caring doctor, the dutiful wife, the sensitive do-gooder or the generous contributor, all the while misusing and taking advantage of people and the environment in which they've placed themselves. The highly-respected politician or minister who was always viewed as a pillar of the community who is one day caught doing something awful that nobody would have ever thought possible is a classic example of an antisocial personality finally exposed. Once caught, antisocials often continue faking the role of model citizen or leader, insisting they are guilty of nothing, acting as if they have been unjustly accused, no matter the mountain of solid evidence. Or they may choose to fake contrition, pleading for forgiveness for that single, solitary supposed "mistake", when in reality, they have been very deftly conning trusting people for years and will continue to do so their whole lives.


2. THEY CHARM.

Antisocial people know that in order to accomplish the things they want that they're not entitled to, they need to get others out of the way first, because others will expose the unfairness of what they do, and that's a hassle. One of the ways they do this is by charming others into believing they are wonderful (or that they're victims). They will turn on the charm (or victim-act) whenever they're in the presence of someone whose admiration and trust they must gain in order to get what they want. Antisocials need no acting classes. They are astute observers of human behavior because by studying peoples' weaknesses, they learn best how to exploit them. Depending on their social environment, beneath their cleverly constructed veneer, they may be unethical businesspeople, street hustlers, con artists, crooked salesmen, or just plain shady personalities overall. They find it very easy to "play" people, take advantage of them, and then expertly avoid or deflect all responsibility onto whomever is handiest - sadly, often the victim themselves.


3. THEY ARE THOUGHTLESS.

Antisocial personalities don't really care about anything but self-gratification. They don't care about anyone other than themselves, and they don't even care if they are caught and punished for what they do. Consequences for wrongdoing simply roll off their backs, and they continue on in life, which is something they consider to be nothing more than a little game of putting one over on people to get hold of things they want. They don't think about you, they don't think about society, they don't think about whether someone is getting hurt or if something is fair (except when they need to in order to figure out how to get around people who have such sensibilities.) Beneath the fakery, their attitude in life is summed up by thoughts like, "Who cares", "It's (the victim's) fault they got taken", and "I'm gonna get just what I want; watch this brilliant move...ha ha...the idiot fell for it!" All the while, playing innocent and sweet to prevent being caught.


4. THEY ARE IMPULSIVE.

The antisocial mind is focused on instant gratification and how to acquire it. Antisocial people don't often think about consequences, typically. Poor impulse control, limited ability (or inability) to delay gratification and put their interests second to others are common. Aggression, though not present in all antisocial people, is also common. These types tend to have a "short fuse" and are prone to lashing out without warning, threatening others, and physical assault. Many others, however, are considered "sub-criminal" sociopaths who live more quietly unempathic, socially deceptive and emotionally hurtful lives, and are more prone to sub-criminal interpersonal victimization. Recklessness and disregard for their own safety and the safety of others is often (but not always) seen in antisocial personalities.


5. THEY DON'T LIKE RULES.

Rules -- social rules, legal rules, reasonable expectations -- these aren't welcome constraints to antisocial individuals. After all, rules are made by others, and others don't matter to antisocial people. (Many will hide the fact that they don't care about anyone in order to gain influence and hide their true intentions. And they conceal their lack of caring well - feigning the empathy they lack, expertly mimicking those around them and blending in.) Depending on the individual and his or her particular combination of traits and characteristics, the antisocial person may covertly and sneakily break rules when no-one is watching, consistently blatantly break rules in full view and boast about their ability to do so, or any combination of the two. Some are prone to bragging about rules they have broken or offenses they have committed. Whether overt or covert, their disregard and contempt for reasonable interpersonal expectations, inability to abide by laws, gross inability to honor agreements, lack of respect for boundaries, and rejection of healthy norms and requirements are common among antisocial individuals.

thank you for this eye opening information... What was the point of this anyways?

Public service.

Nicely done.

Most socios are victims of abuse (PPD2) spreading misanthropy. Others are born, PPD1. Some are a combination of the two which would be potentially really bad for others.

Information Syntax, obviously. Mostly for the lurkers or anyone who was confused.

Just doing my part for the forum, trying to keep it on topic ya know?

Now, the difference between narcs and socios, which has been covered before but I found a site detailing the differences and I thought it was good so I'm sharing. That topic seems to pop up here every so often, so it's a good thing to stress for people who may be wondering what kind of a person they're dealing with...

Things narcissists do

1. THEY REFUSE RESPONSIBILITY.

It's not their fault. Not EVER. It's always your fault. His fault. Her fault. To a narcissist, it's not their fault they hurt you, it's your fault for being hurt-able. If your feelings are hurt, it's not their fault; it's your fault - for having feelings. (You may be told that you're "choosing" to feel bad about the hurtful things they've done, and that it's the wrong "choice".) If caught doing something insensitive or selfish, they will tell you they "had to" do it because of someone or something else. If you imply that anything is their responsibility, they give you excuses and lies, and often, if those fail to work, they will finally make it clear that the bottom line is they simply don't care because they don't have to, and the fact that you care is just unnecessary or wrong. From their perspective, you shouldn't care -- you should get it right like they do, and be more like they are. Uncaring.

2. THEY LIE.

Narcissists lie to make themselves look good. They lie to get out of emotional responsibility. They lie to manipulate. They lie to gain influence. They lie out of habit. Life is a game to narcissists - a game they have to think they're winning - and truth is one casualty in their game plan. The only time a narcissist has any interest in telling the truth is when it will serve them or cost them nothing to do so. The rest of the time, they don't consider it necessary or important to be all that honest. Honesty can impede their self-gratification and compromise their powerful persona, and they don't like that. To narcissists the truth is frequently "flexible" and optional. There's no such thing as an honest narcissist.

3. THEY LOOK DOWN ON YOU.

Narcissists have to make themselves feel bigger by convincing themselves others are smaller by comparison. They're no strangers to being condescending, snobby, clique-ish, elitist and superior; however, they may be very good at hiding their disdain to prevent a loss of popularity, which narcissists know brings them power. Narcissists with money look down on the working class. Narcissists in the working class look down on those with more money. Educated narcissists dismiss the opinions of those who have no degree. Narcissists with no degree claim educated people don't actually know anything. Whatever narcissists HAVE (or think they have) is what they use to look down on others WITH. No-one else's background, appearance, values, political persuasion, school, preferences, religion, way of life, profession or opinions are ever any good or worthy of their respect unless they themselves value and/or possess the same. If you think or choose differently from a narcissist, you're "wrong", and they're "right".


4. THEY'RE TWO-FACED.

Narcissists have two faces -- their real face and their stage face. And neither is anything like the other. Which one you see will depend on how long you've known them. Narcissists can be very charming and know how to gain favor. Anyone who doesn't know a narcissist well will tell you the narcissist is one of the greatest people they've ever met! They believe this is one of the most intelligent, kindest, most interesting, funny, agreeable, most attractive, talented or accomplished people ever. They may wish they themselves had it so "together" or were so popular. However, anyone who knows that same narcissist better (family members, longtime coworkers, etc) will tell you the narcissist is one of the most horribly frustrating and toxic people they know, and the mere mention of their name makes them feel uneasy, angry, frustrated or otherwise unhappy. Being the only one who is experiencing a narcissist's real face, while all other family members or coworkers can still only see the narcissist's stage face is a very lonely, painful and frustrating place to be. Thankfully, the number of people who can see through the facade tends to increase with time.


5. THEY'RE VINDICTIVE.

If you dare to question a narcissist or request things like healthy boundaries and honesty, you're going to become public enemy number one. The "Mr. or Ms. Wonderful" mask immediately comes off, and there is no level they will not stoop to in order to "punish" you. They have myriad ways of attempting this; some are covert, and some are open and obvious. The narcissist has a seemingly inexhaustible obsession for making people who cross them "pay". Once they set their sights on you, you're a permanent enemy, and their seething spite will feel as intense years down the road as it did when it first began. The length of time they can keep up the full intensity of their hatred for you and their campaign to exact revenge is absolutely dumbfounding to non-narcissistic people.


6.THEY PROJECT PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

Many mentally disordered individuals project frequently. Narcissists, however, are some of the most actively and severely projecting people encountered. Ever full of accusations and criticisms, the most crazy-making thing about most of the narcissist's claims is that YOU are doing exactly what THEY are doing. (Projection.) Have they just lied to you? Well, you're about to be called dishonest. Are they cheating you out of an opportunity? You're going to get the finger pointed at you for being sneaky. And you can't say a word to them about something hurtful they have done, because that makes you an abuser - of them. You can't give them anything but glowing feedback without their raging at you, but you'll be the one constantly criticized severely and then called freakishly oversensitive if you show any feelings about it. And if they say so, it's law -- you don't know what you're talking about.


7. THEY SMEAR PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE THEM.
Narcissists are allergic to healthy boundaries and fairness. If you question the insensitive things they do or put any limits whatsoever on their bad behavior, you will be targeted for social, professional, or personal obliteration. Whatever narcissists perceive to be your psychological or situational "weak spots" will be their prime targets. For instance, if the narcissist knows that your greatest fear is social ridicule, that will be the main focus of the smear campaign. If he or she knows that recently, you made a mistake for which you feel guilty, that will be used against you. Narcissists know that the more effectively they can pinpoint your insecurities or flaws, the more successful they will be in eroding your confidence and your influence. And if they manage to do that, they stand a good chance of getting back the power they planned to do whatever they pleased with before you "got in their way".

Lassitude wrote:Information Syntax, obviously. Mostly for the lurkers or anyone who was confused.

Just doing my part for the forum, trying to keep it on topic ya know?

Maybe I should do some "public service" for the forums too. That would be fun.

please don't

SyntaxError wrote:Maybe I should do some "public service" for the forums too. That would be fun.

See ya.

THEY'RE VINDICTIVE.

If you dare to question a narcissist or request things like healthy boundaries and honesty, you're going to become public enemy number one. The "Mr. or Ms. Wonderful" mask immediately comes off, and there is no level they will not stoop to in order to "punish" you. They have myriad ways of attempting this; some are covert, and some are open and obvious. The narcissist has a seemingly inexhaustible obsession for making people who cross them "pay". Once they set their sights on you, you're a permanent enemy, and their seething spite will feel as intense years down the road as it did when it first began. The length of time they can keep up the full intensity of their hatred for you and their campaign to exact revenge is absolutely dumbfounding to non-narcissistic people.

Yup...ran into one of those. And...yeah...I kind of flipped the tables a little...but I warned him.

Thinking that the PD itself is the worst handicap to Choice due to the black/ white thinking. Very sensitive lot they are. Coverts in particular.

are you sure you've been in a relationship with an N inspiritus?

I don't see how you two would be compatible. you're too pushy/self-assertive.

you're too pushy/self-assertive.

Why Thank you.
Yeah...I tend to call people out on the BS they would rather hide from themselves. Shucky darn.