Tried to eat!

I for forced myself to go to sushi and ate two plates. Threw up afterwards. Can't do this anymore. I need help! Couldnt stop the feelings if wanting to get it out. Don't know what to do? Therapist appointment next week but think she'll hate me if I tell her?

self-hypnotise yourself to eat. Lie down in a quite room, with the intentions of hypnotising yourself to eat. Turn off the lights. Play quite nature sounds. Breathe rhythmically until you are relaxed, and say to yourself "I am eating a delicious meal" and just keep story telling to yourself this until you feel appetite. That's what I did. It may work. Also try drawing pictures of food over and over again, little pictures.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time Could you try eating something less ambitious next time? Sushi is a big step up from eating nothing, especially 2 plates of it.

Yes, do tell your therapist. She won't hate you for making her do her job. It'll help you to have her walk you through your experience and talk about what you were thinking & feeling at the time.

Was just trying to be normal but thoughts of me being disgusting with food inside too strong!

I can understand the need of trying to eat normally. Your body is going to have unique needs right now though and eating like someone regularly would is going to backfire.

Can you try and aim for something small & easy to digest, like a smoothie for next time? It might make the hard feelings & sensations easier to deal with.

I know it's not easy at all, but try to be kind to yourself with this and allow plenty of room for setbacks. Keep hammering away on your own and in therapy and eventually when the disorder is having a weak day, something will catch on and you get a bit better.

Thanks ladyswan. What will happen to me if i just keep drinking coffee/tea? I am doing ok on just drinks at the moment and feel like it's giving me enough to function normally.

Oh hun That's not good at all. I'm sure it feels enough but that's just the disorder trying to convince you of what it wants. Your body has likely given up on crying for nourishment at this point but you really need to give it something substantial to work with.

With just coffee & tea your organs, especially your filtration organs, are going to shut down. You'll end up in a state of ketosis (if you aren't already) and your cognitive functions will decline as your body starts to feed itself on the muscle & fat in your brain. Your heart is a muscle and will begin to have problems.

Did you notice how I said that your body would start to eat its own muscle? Don't listen to the disorder! It'll keep telling you how fat you are when there is in fact no fat left to metabolize.

I don't know what kind of state you're in right now but it doesn't sound like you're doing very well and really need some type of intervention. Please, tell someone about this and be honest about how hard you're finding it. The damage anorexia can do takes a very long time to heal if you let it get too bad.

I have organised a meal out with a friend on Friday to try and force myself to eat. But now I've done it, I'm petrified of going. What type of restaurant should I suggest to my friend? Im scared....

Congrats on taking that step! It's going to be scary, but it's also encouraging that you are reaching out and taking risks like that.

I suggest finding a place that has easy to digest foods.

So scared....its friday and thinking of cancelling dinner! not sure I can put anything in my mouth, or eat in front of anyone!