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Is this anorexia?

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Is this anorexia?

Postby Jeniikyou » Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:13 pm

Hi everyone,
I am new here and I was just wondering if I could get your opinions on whether you think this might be anorexia or not. Thanks in advance :)

I never really considered anorexia a possibility for me, but I am starting to think I might have a mild case. People are always telling me how skinny I look and I have been made fun of by my friends about how skinny I am; my dad once said he wondered if I had anorexia. I just thought they were all joking around with me though. My dad says I don't eat very much, but I always thought I ate a lot more than I should. He compares me to when he was my age, but I just thought he was crazy from the amount he said he eats.

I don't think I avoid eating on purpose just to lose weight. I might miss a meal and just think of the possible weight loss as a bonus, but I usually miss meals for other reasons. I don't ever eat breakfast because I just can't be bothered. I eat lunch sometimes, but it's really off and on for me. I eat fast food a lot for lunch when I do eat lunch and I usually end up feeling sick and I hate myself for always eating it. Fast food is really unhealthy though so it makes sense for me to feel bad about eating it, right?

I snack a lot between meals on stuff like crackers or chips or pickles (I love pickles :P). I usually feel bad after eating chips or buttery popcorn, but that's just because they are unhealthy. I have a really hard time keeping myself from snacking though, even if I am feeling sick from it. Sometimes I go for a full day or two without a real meal, but it's not that often and I don't do it to lose weight, I just do it because I don't feel like eating.

I am self-conscious about my weight, I get really upset if I see my weight go up and I hate it when I weigh more than someone else (even if they are a lot shorter than I am). I don't weigh myself that often because I am too scared that I have gained weight. I am not obsessive about losing weight, but I would like to lose weight. I feel fat when I look in the mirror (mostly in my torso and thighs), and I hate the way my body looks; I just attributed that to my gender identity disorder and hating to see anything that isn't completely feminine in my body.

I just always thought that anorexia was something that would be really obvious to see if I had it. I also thought that if I had it then my family and friends would be more worried and would be trying to get me to get help. I really just feel like they are joking around most of the time. Sometimes my dad seems a bit more serious about how little he thinks I eat, but he has never been concerned enough to try to do anything about it.

I do have a lot of anxiety and depression and a lot of it is focused on how I look, but again I just attributed that to my gender identity disorder. It doesn't really seem like it's a big issue in my life, I was just curious for your opinions on my situation.

Thanks :)
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby gratteciel » Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:56 pm

Hi and welcome.

I want to preface this post by saying that no one here at PsychForums is a professional; therefore, we cannot diagnose you. We can offer our own learning experiences and support, though.

It does sound like you have some issues that might do well with professional help. Do you have a therapist or other professional you can talk to? The truth is, if you are concerned about not getting balanced meals, feeling unhappy with your body to the point where it interferes with your daily life, coupled with depression and anxiety that you've noted, I think it's important that you seek professional help.

That being said, mental illness is not always obvious. I've struggled for years, and some people still have no clue. Some people who know me fairly well. And even my own diagnosis took me by surprise. I still feel in denial sometimes, like I don't REALLY have a mental illness. So just because people aren't acting concerned doesn't mean that nothing is wrong. (It doesn't mean that something IS wrong, either, of course.) Or, it's possible that the people around you are a little nervous about talking to you about certain things, so they say it jokingly in hopes of getting your attention. There are a lot of possibilities here.

Anyway, good luck and let us know how you are.
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby ScifiChris » Sun Dec 07, 2014 10:41 pm

My silly input is that its just disordered eating, but not anorexia. Ana's and avoid tend to hate food (imho), which is certainly the case with me. Take care.
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby Jeniikyou » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:33 pm

Thanks! I wasn't looking for a diagnosis, just your opinions. I really appreciate the input. I don't have a therapist to talk with, my only doctor is only specialised in gender identity disorder and she doesn't venture far from that. The wait times for therapists are really long where I live unfortunately :(
"Why do you hate yourself so much?". "I used up all the love meant for myself on everyone else".

How can you understand me when I don't understand myself?
Jeniikyou
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby gratteciel » Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:27 am

I see. Well, it's up to you what you do, but if you feel you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. Even if it means getting on a waiting list for a therapist so that, if things get worse, you have the option later.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
-Albert Einstein
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby Jeniikyou » Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:17 am

Thanks!

I should really start looking for a therapist anyways for many other reasons. If I get around to seeing one though I will definitely bring it up. Thanks again for everything, I think I may have just been in a paranoid mood though.
"Why do you hate yourself so much?". "I used up all the love meant for myself on everyone else".

How can you understand me when I don't understand myself?
Jeniikyou
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby ScifiChris » Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:14 am

Let us know how you get on and good luck.
“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby gratteciel » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:54 pm

You're welcome - I hope things turn out for you.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
-Albert Einstein
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Re: Is this anorexia?

Postby Soren » Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:31 pm

Look up Orthorexia. I know for many anorexia started there-- it's an obsession with eating only healthy foods, to the point that absurd guilt is felt upon eating anything unhealthy. You might be developing that. I think it's important to note that anorexia is a mental illness, meaning it starts in the mind. The self loathing, distorted perception of yourself, anxiety and depression-- those things come first. It takes awhile to actually get so thin that you are unhealthy, and the relationship with food also develops over time and worsens. You have the framework mentally where it very well could develop into full blown anorexia (full blown meaning you will hate yourself for eating anything and will go days and will obsess over every little bone and yet all you can think about is food). Don't take it lightly, though-- what you are going through now is incredibly important for your health in the future, and depression and anxiety are a huge deal. Please be careful and seek help somehow.
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