by ExistentialIdiot » Wed Dec 03, 2014 6:34 pm
A little about myself,I'm 14 years old African American,have always been tall and bigger for my age,Im currently in the 11th grade however haven't been going to school I've only attended 15 days because of my depression and lack of motivation and not caring,I'm in the process of going to a diagnostic,residential treatment centre or therapeutic Forster home to avoid consequences to my family and for my current psychiatrist and therapist to see if there's something deeper,I have a dislike for society and how tedious it feels to participate in it,and I've held onto past anger going on 11 years now,(So when school started for me) and most of this is tied into me always thinking about the consequences that mostly my family had to endure and it just got worse and worse as time pasted,it went from either trying to psychologically torment that person to wanting to cripple or kill them,I've never acted on these thoughts except rarely and they've never escalated to where I fulfil the images,I believe this has given me a good memory however xD,but every time I think about it I dream of finding them later in life and making their friends or family suffer in the worse way,and in my teenage years actually writing this just now I've realised my current situation is brought on by not caring about consequences that effect other people,However my reason for writing this is fear that in the future my self control might waver and I may do something terrible...if you need any more details on this before giving your input feel free to ask.