Worsening agoraphobia, causing life to spin out of control

Hey,
I have agoraphobia and no matter what it keeps getting worse with every day.
I'm in high school and I'm 16- at this age if my parent agreed i could drop out and stay home.
I know that most people consider this a negative choice, however i have my own plans for life.
Unfortunatley my parent won't agree, he doesn't seem to understand how hard this is on me...
its getting to the point i may just skip school.
I don't live with my mom due to the fact she abused me emotionally/physically when i was little.
I know i should try and get over the agoraphobia but that just makes the pain worse, and the pain (or in other words, the depression) causes the agoraphobia to worsen.
any suggestions? I'm getting tired of doing the same thing everyday, I can't function, I'm an empty body being driven only by the most basic instincts of my soul as i walk around emotionless.
I am also very hyper-vigilant I know everything, everywhere.... if someone is behind me i feel it, I pick up on the slightest differences...
If you've read this far, thank you for taking the time... most people in this world would not even care to look at all
oh ya, that reminds me, in order to graduate i would have to do community service but I'd rather fail than serve a community that has done nothing but kick me down and step on me as i suffer

Chucky wrote:be honest Nick - this souds very serious. I remember when I was your age and I was agoraphobic too. So, I know what you're feeling. You have tried to tell your parents already about it - yeh? Talking to them might not work, but if you even just showed them this post, then it might register with them that your problems are real/genuine. You could even just write out a note to them instead of showing them this actual post. When we talk, sometimes the words we speak just are't taken seriously by others. Writing seems to be more effective.

One thing you must not do is make a rash decision. Never make a rash decision when you are feeling depressed, as you might very well regret it later.

Kevin

Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it...
I think your right about talking, Sometimes people don't listen...
It's not often I talk about this to my parent (I live with my father)
I find it hard to talk about... I do see some counselors but it is court ordered and I learned early on not to trust them, although whether or not i should is up to debate
Anyway, I really appreciate your taking the time to respond to my post
Thank You,
Nick Brown

Hang in there! It really does get better!

I used to be there myself, and boy can I relate. But my life got better (when I thought it was impossible).

So there is hope!

**I sent you a private message too (check your messages).

Best, Phil