I need help.. I need to rid myself of my dark personality

I have a problem. I would like to know how I can rid myself of a personality trait. When I was younger I was a dark child. I never had the joy filled childhood or the child's innocent personality when I was young. Not because of my environment. I grew up around great family and a great home. But my mind was just dark. I was observant and quiet. At the age of 6 I had the maturity of a teenager. I just always played dumb so no one would know. I never liked other kids because of how they acted. They were actually too happy for me to want to be around. At the age of 8 I locked the dark hate filled personality away. I found that I can feel happiness in relationships at the age of 17. But as soon as I am in a relationship and happy my personality tells me to instantly distance myself because I feel comfortable. I have only been in 2 relationships though. I have always been paranoid since I can remember. Lately it has given me anxiety. Please help me rid of this dark trait so I can be happy. I would love to know what true happiness feels like

Hi, AlexBurd! It sounds to me like you have to figure out why you have this tendency to push people away. Maybe it was there since childhood and you just don't understand why yet. Even if you had a nice enough childhood, you could still try some therapy for this problem.
Why do you think this could be going on? How are you?